personal growth

On Plans, Winging It, and Flexibility

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 6 Conversations

 

“Before you cross the street take my hand. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

It’s said John Lennon wrote these words about his experiences with his young son. At that point in his life, he was in his second marriage to Yoko Ono, fame had struck, and it would have been so very easy to get caught up in making plans.

It happens all the time.

Life gets busy, overwhelm and stress show up, and you bypass doing the right thing in favour of the fast or convenient thing.

You put off saying I love you, thinking you have all the time in the world.

Until you don’t.

Sometimes you’re given a moment of grace, and time slows down.

Sometimes, you embrace that moment and change all your plans.

For love,

family,

presence…

those parts of your life that make you whole.

You make room for flexibility.

You make requests.

You change your mind.

You choose what serves the moment, rather than the plans.

Just. Like. That.

Circumstances align, people show up, and your heart expands.

Life supports flexibility.

“No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always winging it.” – Carroll Bryant

Life is always winging it.

Adapting, and evolving; that’s how we got here.

Which doesn’t mean never make plans.

Life isn’t an all or nothing game.

It means embrace what comes your way.

And trust you have everything you need.

 

How to Create a World of Connection

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

 

It’s easy to turn your yearnings into goals.

Ever notice how quickly this leads to planning and strategizing?

Sounds like fun?

Yeah, not so much.

Slowly but surely, the meaning behind your yearnings disappears, squeezed out by the minutiae of planning and you’re left with what exactly?

Empty results.

Example: You yearn to feel connected.

You brainstorm ways to feel more connected, and suddenly, your schedule is full of commitments: networking events, social engagements, scheduled calls to connect with people you love, etc.

Do you feel more connected?

Connect

In my experience, you’re more likely to feel exhausted, and resentful of the whirlwind you created.

Now imagine you create from a different starting place – a world where you already are connected. 

You don’t have to reconnect.

You only have to remember, and bring awareness back to the connection that is always there.

Let me say it again. . .

The connection is always there.

You can’t NOT be connected.

“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson

The roots of a tree are there whether we see them or not; reaching deep or spreading wide – always there, always connected to the earth.

When you come from the place that we are always already connected, you open up a new view of life which then allows for a new way of being.

Instead of asking what you have to do to reconnect, ask yourself what needs to shift in you to feel your connection to the world and those around you right now.

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” – Mother Teresa

 

Over to You:

For the next 24 hours, notice your connection to life. Feel the already existing connection between you and every person who crosses your path.

Notice what shows up.

Notice what displaces your connection.

In becoming aware of what takes you out, you’ll also discover how to access your connection any time, anywhere.

 

 

8 Truths to Getting Unstuck and Reclaiming Your Freedom

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 40 Conversations

 

Then.

On the eve of her 49th birthday, she lay in bed wondering what had happened to her drive and enthusiasm for life. The tears kept her awake, as did the heightened awareness that she wasn’t happy, her experience of life one of feeling trapped.

Suffering doesn't make us weak; only an avoidance of suffering makes us weak. Sometimes the only way to get around it is to burn through it. - Marianne Williamson

She lay awake for hours shocked by this realization.

Some time in the middle of the night, she whispered to herself that she would do whatever it took to feel better; to cause a breakthrough for herself. She was so very good at doing it for others, and it was time to turn that attention and care to her Self.

This was hard for her to admit, given that her work was all about helping people enjoy a greater experience of life. She’d been using all the techniques and tools she’d learned over the years, but nothing had made a lasting difference.

That was me, April 14, 2012.

I had entered my own personal hell.

A year passed, and I turned 50.

365 days had gone by since that dark night of the soul, and while I’d made some changes, things were still looking pretty bleak. So much so that I was actually considering therapy and/or drugs to help me get through this phase, which seemed to have become my life.

That’s when I asked myself one very important question:

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get through?

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The Many Flavours of Freedom

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 34 Conversations

 

free·dom

– being able to think, choose, and act without constraint, or my simplified definition – the ability to do what you want when you want.

definition of freedom superimposed on ice cream cones

The focus of my work has shifted slowly, but surely towards freedom; no surprise really, as it’s one of my core values. I’ve found myself wanting to go deeper, into what freedom means to others.

I asked online and here’s what came back:

Freedom is. . .

  • the release of shoulds
  • being free to be yourself at every moment
  • giving yourself in service to others
  • feeling unconstrained
  • being able to choose how to spend my precious time

  • being able to still the turmoil in my mind

  • the ability to be myself in all ways, everywhere
  • knowing I am thinking my own thoughts, and not those of others

  • being able to speak my mind and do what I want, regardless of what anyone else thinks

  • doing only things I love and choose
  • having options, choices, and the opportunity to exercise one’s own will

Then there’s the more complicated, dictionary view:

Freedom – noun

1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
3. the power to determine action without restraint.
4. political or national independence.
5. personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery: a slave who bought his freedom.

So what exactly is it?

I asked some respected friends and colleagues this question:

What does freedom mean to you, and how do you nourish it in your life? 

Their words, and collective wisdom inspired me; so many flavours of freedom, each appealing in its own way and I realized the problem with freedom is that sometimes we take on someone else’s concept of freedom as our own.

Like letting someone who doesn’t know you pick a flavour of ice cream at random, you’re not likely to get what you want.

It’s why you might have the experience of constraint even when circumstances line up to produce the freedom you thought you were working towards.

So many options, grab a pink spoon and dip into the flavours below.

 

Continue reading →

Set Yourself in Motion

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 4 Conversations

 

At Rest, photo of gravestone at Mountainview Cemetery, Vancouver, BC

Walking through the cemetery,
present to life.

In all its messy, splendid glory,
this life is what you have.

With dreams and yearnings,
secret wish lists tucked away
at the back of your mind.

Newton said,
“a body at rest will remain at rest
unless an outside force acts on it” 

So you wait for that outside force,
to strike, and set you in motion.

Going at it ass backwards,
when the source of your power is inside.

How long will you let it lie dormant?

How many more hours, days,
and years will you let pass you by?

Strike.

Set yourself in motion;
exchange your inertia for freedom.

This Most Amazing Day

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 7 Conversations

 

e.e. cummings quote on image taken at Ruby Lake Resort, BC

Some days I don’t feel grateful.

I feel sullen and resentful, and a bit let down by this thing called Life.

Some days the pull towards the negative is like a strong undercurrent doing its best to pull me under.

I hear it often in my work, but I do my best not to go there; not to talk about it myself.

But the truth is, we all have those days, and moments in life that frustrate the hell out of us.

We all consider giving up at some point.

Until the choice becomes clear.

We can relax and let ourselves be pulled down into the deep, dark waters or. . .

We can refuse to succumb.

We can choose to find some small way to feel better, and reverse the flow of energy.

It’s not as difficult as we think:

  • a walk in nature
  • your toes in the ocean
  • acknowledging your yearnings
  • time with yourself and your journal
  • connecting with a loved one

Feeding your soul in any way that feels good to you.

Start there, and each small step or action will lead you slowly but surely back into resourcefulness.

 

Your Yearning Will Lead to Your Purpose

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

 

What is your deepest yearning?

You know – that thing your soul really wants for you but you haven’t been able to admit or say out loud? Yeah, that thing.

Do you have an immediate response, or are you wondering what it might be?

definition of the word Yearning

 If you’re wondering about this yearning, go back to your childhood. . .

What did you want most, that you didn’t get enough of?

This is where your answer lives, along with your sadness.

Hidden from your view, subconscious, and the root of all you desire.

 

“There is a desire within each of us,
in the deep center of ourselves 
that we call our heart.
We were born with it, 
it is never completely satisfied,
and it never dies.
We are often unaware of it, 
but it is always awake.” 

– George G. May

 

What is your soul’s deepest yearning?

attention

acknowledgement

freedom

to be seen

to feel cared for, cherished

protection

guidance

full self-expression

lightness of being

to feel special

love

 

What is it for you?

Imagine for a moment, naming this longheld yearning and then, giving it away without apology or reservation.

YES, giving away the thing you most long for.

Paradoxical maybe, but this is where your purpose lives.

Your purpose is what you say it is when you truly answer the question.

 

What is your soul’s deepest yearning?

Your yearning + clarity = your purpose

Priceless and unique to you – a gift to offer the world.

That is what you are here for.

 

There is No Finish Line

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 23 Conversations

 

“There is no finish line. There is no prize. There is no path, no schedule, no time line. There is no right direction, right choice, right way. All of that would imply there was something out there that is not here now. It would imply that there is something you could be that you are not now. You are the energy you are looking for. Right here. Right now.” – Jeddah Mali

These words by Jedda Mali have been on my mind lately. They speak to me of truth, and the duality of life.

No Finish Line

There is no finish line. No prize. No right way.

The little voice in my head hollers, “What’s the point then?” 

You see, I like getting to the end, reaching out for the prize, and feeling the satisfaction of completion.

I’ve learned that life doesn’t always deliver the prize the way we want it. When we don’t get what we want the ability to respond creates the future, while reaction takes us back to the past.

There is no finish line and there is no shortcut, but you’ll always come to know yourself better, and that in itself is a prize worth the angst.

No Right Way

How do you know which way to go if there’s no right way? What tells you you’re making the right choice?

All you can do is follow your heart, and if you listen it will show you the way. Some days it’s not that easy, the head is so good at distracting us with its obsessive need to control and understand.

Too often, the head wins out, and leads us down the path of survival.

The compulsion to understand is a powerful motivator, but when it gets in the way of what feels good, you’ve got to take a step back because understanding is almost always the booby prize.

Out There vs. Here Now

It’s easy to forget, to look outside yourself for comfort, validation, and love.

But no matter how much you get from others, it will never be enough if you don’t give it and get it from yourself.

"Stop looking outside yourself. You are the one you've been waiting for." - image taken at Ruby Lake, BC, Canada

You are the one you’ve been waiting for.

You, and only you, can give yourself what you need.

When you really get that, you and everyone else will be taken care of and the finish line?

Will disappear for good.

 

A Credo for Living Your Best Life

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 25 Conversations

definition of credo against burning background

Fight FOR something, not against.

Own who you are without apology.

Trust feelings over logic.

Take the first step even though it’s the hardest.

Change the world by looking inward.

Don’t just keep your word, honour it.

Ignite revolution from the inside out.

Be curious, experiment, question everything.

Do what you know to do.

Respect and live your values.

Believe. . .even when it’s most challenging.

Belong because you say so.

Embrace change, but don’t rush it.

Stand your ground for what’s important.

Crush your someday thinking.

Rock the boat, fiercely and often.

Speak your truth for there lies your essence.

Be, do and have what you’re here for.

Shine bright and shrink less.

Be brilliant, talented, fabulous.

Let silence nourish you.

Choose to open, especially when things feel tight.

Forgive yourself for losing your way.

Rattle the cage, speak up.

Choose love over fear every time.