How to Create a World of Connection

 

It’s easy to turn your yearnings into goals.

Ever notice how quickly this leads to planning and strategizing?

Sounds like fun?

Yeah, not so much.

Slowly but surely, the meaning behind your yearnings disappears, squeezed out by the minutiae of planning and you’re left with what exactly?

Empty results.

Example: You yearn to feel connected.

You brainstorm ways to feel more connected, and suddenly, your schedule is full of commitments: networking events, social engagements, scheduled calls to connect with people you love, etc.

Do you feel more connected?

Connect

In my experience, you’re more likely to feel exhausted, and resentful of the whirlwind you created.

Now imagine you create from a different starting place – a world where you already are connected. 

You don’t have to reconnect.

You only have to remember, and bring awareness back to the connection that is always there.

Let me say it again. . .

The connection is always there.

You can’t NOT be connected.

“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson

The roots of a tree are there whether we see them or not; reaching deep or spreading wide – always there, always connected to the earth.

When you come from the place that we are always already connected, you open up a new view of life which then allows for a new way of being.

Instead of asking what you have to do to reconnect, ask yourself what needs to shift in you to feel your connection to the world and those around you right now.

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” – Mother Teresa

 

Over to You:

For the next 24 hours, notice your connection to life. Feel the already existing connection between you and every person who crosses your path.

Notice what shows up.

Notice what displaces your connection.

In becoming aware of what takes you out, you’ll also discover how to access your connection any time, anywhere.

 

 

8 Truths to Getting Unstuck and Reclaiming Your Freedom

 

Then.

On the eve of her 49th birthday, she lay in bed wondering what had happened to her drive and enthusiasm for life. The tears kept her awake, as did the heightened awareness that she wasn’t happy, her experience of life one of feeling trapped.

Suffering doesn't make us weak;  only an avoidance of suffering makes us weak.  Sometimes the only way to get around it  is to burn through it. - Marianne Williamson

She lay awake for hours shocked by this realization.

Some time in the middle of the night, she whispered to herself that she would do whatever it took to feel better; to cause a breakthrough for herself. She was so very good at doing it for others, and it was time to turn that attention and care to her Self.

This was hard for her to admit, given that her work was all about helping people enjoy a greater experience of life. She’d been using all the techniques and tools she’d learned over the years, but nothing had made a lasting difference.

That was me, April 14, 2012.

I had entered my own personal hell.

A year passed, and I turned 50.

365 days had gone by since that dark night of the soul, and while I’d made some changes, things were still looking pretty bleak. So much so that I was actually considering therapy and/or drugs to help me get through this phase, which seemed to have become my life.

That’s when I asked myself one very important question:

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get through?

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Telling the Truth About Love and Freedom

 

“Freedom and love go together.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

Yes, they do, and this belief has caused a shift recently. . .

a seismic shift away from traditional coaching towards a more freedom-oriented way of working that focuses on harmony and integration rather than goals, productivity, and the usual suspects of the coaching world. That doesn’t mean you won’t get those results, but that you’ll get them with more ease and alignment with your values than you’ve ever experienced before.

And since I’m telling the truth here, this shift feels more like 6.3 on the Richter scale in the magnitude it’s had on my life and business.

Because as I’ve been mastering this new way of working with you, I’ve been going through it myself and the word that comes to mind is transformative; like those imaginal cells that have been at work for so long have finally completed their role.

What does that mean?

It means I really don’t give a crap about:

  • fine-tuning my niche
  • developing SEO practices
  • following traditional coaching guidelines
  • and other sundry tips from the experts on how to succeed online!

It means I’m trusting my gut and my soul’s whispers.

It means you get more of the depth and breadth of fifteen years of my own personal development and coaching journey.

“In the Freedom Sessions, Sandi brings knowledge, humor and genuine compassion to the process.  Everything is done in relationship, in an atmosphere of non-judgement.” – Ellen Berg

It means my deepest yearning is to cherish life in such a way that it exposes its tender heart.

It means I’m in service to that desire by focusing on love and freedom in every interaction.

It means my primary interest – and yes, I do have an agenda – is to help you expand into love and freedom in any area of your life where you currently experience struggle and constraints.

Love & Freedom collage by Sandi Amorim

This my friends, might be bad for SEO, but it’s right in every other way.

Especially in my heart.

Especially in my heart.

The Many Flavours of Freedom

 

free·dom

– being able to think, choose, and act without constraint, or my simplified definition – the ability to do what you want when you want.

definition of freedom superimposed on ice cream cones

The focus of my work has shifted slowly, but surely towards freedom; no surprise really, as it’s one of my core values. I’ve found myself wanting to go deeper, into what freedom means to others.

I asked online and here’s what came back:

Freedom is. . .

  • the release of shoulds
  • being free to be yourself at every moment
  • giving yourself in service to others
  • feeling unconstrained
  • being able to choose how to spend my precious time
  • being able to still the turmoil in my mind

  • the ability to be myself in all ways, everywhere
  • knowing I am thinking my own thoughts, and not those of others
  • being able to speak my mind and do what I want, regardless of what anyone else thinks

  • doing only things I love and choose
  • having options, choices, and the opportunity to exercise one’s own will

Then there’s the more complicated, dictionary view:

Freedomnoun

1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
3. the power to determine action without restraint.
4. political or national independence.
5. personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery: a slave who bought his freedom.

So what exactly is it?

I asked some respected friends and colleagues this question:

What does freedom mean to you, and how do you nourish it in your life? 

Their words, and collective wisdom inspired me; so many flavours of freedom, each appealing in its own way and I realized the problem with freedom is that sometimes we take on someone else’s concept of freedom as our own.

Like letting someone who doesn’t know you pick a flavour of ice cream at random, you’re not likely to get what you want.

It’s why you might have the experience of constraint even when circumstances line up to produce the freedom you thought you were working towards.

So many options, grab a pink spoon and dip into the flavours below.

 

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Your Yearning Will Lead to Your Purpose

 

What is your deepest yearning?

You know – that thing your soul really wants for you but you haven’t been able to admit or say out loud? Yeah, that thing.

Do you have an immediate response, or are you wondering what it might be?

definition of the word Yearning

 If you’re wondering about this yearning, go back to your childhood. . .

What did you want most, that you didn’t get enough of?

This is where your answer lives, along with your sadness.

Hidden from your view, subconscious, and the root of all you desire.

 

“There is a desire within each of us,
in the deep center of ourselves 
that we call our heart.
We were born with it, 
it is never completely satisfied,
and it never dies.
We are often unaware of it, 
but it is always awake.” 

– George G. May

 

What is your soul’s deepest yearning?

attention

acknowledgement

freedom

to be seen

to feel cared for, cherished

protection

guidance

full self-expression

lightness of being

to feel special

love

 

What is it for you?

Imagine for a moment, naming this longheld yearning and then, giving it away without apology or reservation.

YES, giving away the thing you most long for.

Paradoxical maybe, but this is where your purpose lives.

Your purpose is what you say it is when you truly answer the question.

 

What is your soul’s deepest yearning?

Your yearning + clarity = your purpose

Priceless and unique to you – a gift to offer the world.

That is what you are here for.

 

A Credo for Living Your Best Life

definition of credo against burning background

Fight FOR something, not against.

Own who you are without apology.

Trust feelings over logic.

Take the first step even though it’s the hardest.

Change the world by looking inward.

Don’t just keep your word, honour it.

Ignite revolution from the inside out.

Be curious, experiment, question everything.

Do what you know to do.

Respect and live your values.

Believe. . .even when it’s most challenging.

Belong because you say so.

Embrace change, but don’t rush it.

Stand your ground for what’s important.

Crush your someday thinking.

Rock the boat, fiercely and often.

Speak your truth for there lies your essence.

Be, do and have what you’re here for.

Shine bright and shrink less.

Be brilliant, talented, fabulous.

Let silence nourish you.

Choose to open, especially when things feel tight.

Forgive yourself for losing your way.

Rattle the cage, speak up.

Choose love over fear every time.

 

Layer Upon Layer

 

Peony with quote, photo credit - Sandi Amorim

Layer upon layer,
your beliefs wrap around.
Enclosing, protecting
from the wounds of life.

What once had value,
now droops from the stem.
And still you hold on,
afraid to let go.

What once kept you safe,
now keeps you locked in;
hidden from view…
afraid of opening.

Layer upon layer,
vulnerable and soft
yearning to drop
the weight,

and surrender.

Speak Up (the Universe is ready for you now)

 

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

These are the first two lines of a poem written by Geoffrey X Lane, a master speaker and trainer I recently had the privilege of working with. But more than a poem, for me it was a call to step more fully onto the path I’m being called to walk.

Have Your Say and Make Your Voice Heard. Sign at University of Essex, March 2011

Speak up.

Truth teller, cage rattler, warrior for you breaking through what stops you. I’m not interested in reasons or excuses, from myself or anyone else. I want us both to remember who we really are and why we’re here, and that takes speaking up.

Speak up in volume. Speak up and share what’s most important to you. Speak up and express what’s burning inside you.

And here’s the thing. . .

The more you speak up, the more natural it will feel, until that day when not speaking becomes uncomfortable. When that day comes, we all win.

Pay attention.

We get messages all the time through our senses and beyond, but are you tuned in to their frequency? And I don’t mean in some woo woo way, although there’s nothing wrong with that either.

I’m talking about taking care of yourself so that you’ve got the resourcefulness to show up and notice what’s going on all around you. The kind of self-care that goes deep, taking care of all of you, mind, body, and spirit.

When you are resourceful, paying attention becomes second nature.

Tell the truth.

People are judging and assessing you all the time, and guess what? You’re doing the same thing in return. Doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do, someone’s always got an opinion. Which kind levels the playing field, don’t you think? So stop worrying about it.

Tell the truth – about what you want but are afraid to admit.

Tell the truth – about what you’ve always wanted to say but kept silent.

Tell the truth – you will survive. You’ll also liberate yourself from the bullshit that keeps you stuck.

Celebrate your sound.

Your sound includes your actual speaking voice, as well as how you write and express yourself, and it’s time to own this baby!

Sing in the shower, yell in a forest, hear what you actually sound like.

And then embrace it fully, without judgment.

Since the workshop with Geoffrey I’ve found myself saying these words and feeling the power of them. Some days I hear which of the words need more energy, and it grounds me in the present moment. Other days I sing them to myself as a chant.

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

These words are working on me from the inside out, and that’s where all transformation begins.

 

Here is the full poem:

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

The universe is ready for you now
Speaking up doesn’t have to hurt
Just follow your heart – speak up

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

All you have to do is grow
You have the courage inside you
Feel the power of speaking up

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

Speak up for the warrior inside you
Tell the truth without judgment or fear
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

 

Speak Up – poem written by Geoffrey X Lane© 03/24/09

 

Rebel Requirements (the truth about what it takes)

 

Trust is the first requirement if you want to be a rebel.

You’ve got to trust yourself, even when it goes against the flow.

painting of fish

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently…”

You may be judged, but here’s the thing. . .

They’re already judging you for something or other, why not have it be for doing something you love, something you believe in?

Free from judgement and liberated from your fears, what would you be, do and have in your life? 

And I’m not talking about fighting against things, although that’s what we mostly think about a rebel. I’m talking about fighting FOR something; that thing that is important to you, and makes your heart sing.

That kind of fight takes heart and soul, and the courage of a true rebel spirit.

 

If you want to be a rebel…

Say what you want to say, and fuck the ‘right’ thing.

Trust your intuition, it’s more reliable than the masses.

“It’s pure instinct that makes me rebel every time someone tries to control my life and hand out more rules.” – Simone Elkeles

Put yourself first, for the good of all.

Wear your heart on your sleeve, and tell folks you love ’em.

Do what gives you pleasure.

Open up, share, be vulnerable. Let people in and they might surprise you by taking a stand right next to you.

Make the first move, tell the truth, be the last to let go of a hug.

Ask more questions. Question authority. Do it without apology.

“What you want can be yours. But you must first know what it is you want.” – Libby Bray

Own your desires, and ask for what you want.

 

 

The Transformation of You

 

a new beginning and
all possibilities exist.

imaginal cells resting
inside their cocoon.

cocoon hanging from a branch

resolve is not needed
in this primordial goo.

just rest, trust,
and patience.

one cell,

two,

then many.

a you unlike any other.

the imaginals know
what to do and…

what

not

to do.

the newness of you will
emerge when ready.

a chrysalis falling away…
exposing, releasing.

imaginal you,
the end result assured.

more you than ever before.

Butterfly hanging from a branch

more fully your Self

more fully alive.

this you, not you,

yet perfectly you.

the past is done.
your cocoon, self-imposed,
no longer needed.

take flight.