For the Love of Silence

 

close up of wooden Buddha

“Silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation.” – Rumi

These days, when I think of silence my whole system – mind, body and spirit – responds quickly. Silence has worked its way into my life, becoming such a strong trigger that I only have to think of it to feel a longing.

I wasn’t always this way about silence.

Years ago, as I prepared to go to my first 4 day silent retreat I wondered at what had compelled me to sign up. I’d gone to visit the retreat centre with a friend; just to keep her company really, yet I was the one to say yes.

In the beginning, the silence was threatening. The first 24 hours of that long ago retreat were so challenging. Without my voice, the internal chatter got really loud; so loud I thought I’d made a mistake, that I was losing my mind.

But by the middle of the second day, an interesting thing happened. Space began to appear in my mind – calm, clear space, like nothing I’d ever experienced before – and I returned home rested, feeling more creative than ever, ideas and possibilities in abundance.

And I was hooked, just like that.

“Silence is sometimes the best answer.” – Dalai Lama

Fast forward fifteen years. . .

I now crave silence, finding it to be the best self-care practice – and believe me, I’ve tried many.

My preference is to attend one or two retreats a year, but when that’s not possible I fit it into my schedule however I can.

Sometimes it’s to unplug phones and technology once I’m done with clients for the day. Other times, I choose a 2 day block of time and sort out my schedule accordingly; no clients, no conversations, nothing. It’s not as effective as my retreats away but it does the job in a pinch.

So what’s my relationship to silence?

That of a lover always longing for more.

 

Inspired by Danielle LaPorte’s Burning Question: What’s your relationship to silence?

 

Turn Up Your Awareness and Come Alive (leaf lesson #2)

 

“All you have to do is to pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step.” – Paulo Coehlo

So the question is. . .do you pay attention?

Time after time, I’ve learned that it’s all about awareness. It really is a muscle that you can develop with practice. And when you consciously turn up your awareness (think of it like a dimmer switch) everything zooms into focus.

Solutions become clear, often in abundance.

Next steps open up, right there in front of you.

Confusion fades away.

How do you turn up that awareness then?

The exercise I shared from my retreat is a good way to start. Being with an object (for me this leaf) with no expectations, no judgments, no concerns, created space for my mind to see it (and life) in a new way.

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Walking In Wonder

 

When you walk, how do you walk exactly?

Odd question, I know.

What I mean is do you look straight ahead or down at the ground? Do you look people in the eye or avert your gaze at all costs? Do you march military style or stroll like it’s Sunday afternoon?

How you walk says a lot.

Labyrinth at St. Paul's Cathedral, Vancouver, BC

I look around, I look at people, and I look like I know where I’m going.

For years I couldn’t understand why I got asked for directions or why people so often chatted with me on the bus.

Now I know.

It’s the walk.

But that’s only the day-to-day walk.

There’s another walk I’ve been thinking about.

How do you walk in the world?

Are you light-hearted, downtrodden or skeptical? Optimistic, resentful or curious?

What’s your way of being when you walk through life?

Just like your physical stride, this walk speaks volumes.

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Lessons Are Everywhere (in which I learn about myself in a most unusual way)

 

Ever notice how anything in life can teach you if you let it?

While on retreat recently, as part of a group exercise I was invited to choose a leaf from a table covered with leaves of all shapes, colours and sizes. The beauty of fall lay before me.

While initially drawn to the intense red of the Japanese Maple, I found my hand reaching out to this leaf.

maple leaf found at Rivendell, Bowen Island

I didn’t question it or try to convince myself otherwise. I simply trusted my intuition, something I sometimes forget in the busyness of life.

The invitation was to notice if the chosen leaf had anything to teach me.

Funny how the oddest things seem perfectly natural when I’m on retreat.

Up in my room, I placed it on the desk where I did my writing.

And so I sat with my leaf.

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Choose Your Path

 

Do you view life as a maze, full of challenges and competition OR as a labyrinth, an opportunity to find yourself along the path?

A maze is designed to confuse you and test your ability to solve the challenge of getting to the centre.

A labyrinth is unicursal, designed with one single path that always leads to the centre.

labyrinth at Rivendell, Bowen Island

The Labyrinth at Rivendell

 

You are not born on one path or the other.

You get to choose your path.

Every single day.

Rational, logical, competitive, pressured ==> You’re in the maze.

Relaxed, present, connected to spirit ==> You’re walking the labyrinth.

Labyrinth thinking takes letting go of societal conditioning to get things done and win at all costs, ie: Who gets to the centre first? It takes letting go of traditional education’s conditioning to do it right and do as your told, ie: Follow the path exactly in order to get a gold star.

Notice your default view.

Maze or Labyrinth.

My work as a coach is not to tell you which path to choose.

It’s not about which path is right, but which path feels right for you.

shadow on Rivendell labyrinth, Bowen Island

If you’re alive you’re on the path.

Which would you rather walk?

 

Here I Am

Reflections From A Retreat

Here I am, again.

Reacquainted with my Self.

Time slows down,

Here.

Rivendell labyrinth, Bowen Island

 Here, I am in need. . .

Of rest and connection.

It always seems easier,

Here.

Rivendell labyrinth, Bowen Island

Here I am, ready,

To let go of all plans.

To start anew,

Here.

centre of Rivendell labyrinth, Bowen Island

Here, I am centred.

I am always here,

But I’m only now,

Remembering.

Remembering.