A wedding, a 50th anniversary,
family, friends and love.
So much love.
Heart and belly,
full.
This place, these people,
treasures held close.
A choice to live
far away.
Not always easy.
Before,
counting sleeps and,
delicious anticipation.
After,
goodbyes and hugs,
and tears.
Hearts break a little,
each time.
A love note to my sister recently married and my parents celebrating 50 years together.
“Silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation.” – Rumi
These days, when I think of silence my whole system – mind, body and spirit – responds quickly. Silence has worked its way into my life, becoming such a strong trigger that I only have to think of it to feel a longing.
I wasn’t always this way about silence.
Years ago, as I prepared to go to my first 4 day silent retreat I wondered at what had compelled me to sign up. I’d gone to visit the retreat centre with a friend; just to keep her company really, yet I was the one to say yes.
In the beginning, the silence was threatening. The first 24 hours of that long ago retreat were so challenging. Without my voice, the internal chatter got really loud; so loud I thought I’d made a mistake, that I was losing my mind.
But by the middle of the second day, an interesting thing happened. Space began to appear in my mind – calm, clear space, like nothing I’d ever experienced before – and I returned home rested, feeling more creative than ever, ideas and possibilities in abundance.
And I was hooked, just like that.
Fast forward fifteen years. . .
I now crave silence, finding it to be the best self-care practice – and believe me, I’ve tried many.
My preference is to attend one or two retreats a year, but when that’s not possible I fit it into my schedule however I can.
Sometimes it’s to unplug phones and technology once I’m done with clients for the day. Other times, I choose a 2 day block of time and sort out my schedule accordingly; no clients, no conversations, nothing. It’s not as effective as my retreats away but it does the job in a pinch.
So what’s my relationship to silence?
That of a lover always longing for more.
There’s the story that’s wanting to be told, yearning to be expressed through you. Let’s call that your soul song.
There’s also the story that you made up as a child; a story that limits you and what’s possible for your life. It’s what you call the truth about you.
Which story will you speak into existence?
Because that’s what you do every time you open your mouth. You create something that is not currently in existence.
Think of your primary story; the one that’s been with you as long as you can remember.
I’m unlovable.
I’m not worthy.
I’m not enough.
I’m too much.
I’m not good enough.
Not. Good. Enough.
Really, imagine it for a moment.
When I go there, it’s beautiful and silent and anything is possible.
I’m asking you to go there too.
Stop speaking and sharing your old, well-worn story. It’s nothing more than a disempowering fairytale.
Say something new and create a future that was never going to happen.
Until now.
Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius.”
The man considered the epitome of genius said that. Which got me thinking about this quality or state of being we call genius.
– a natural ability or capacity; strong inclination: Synonyms: gift, talent, aptitude, faculty, endowment, predilection; penchant, knack, bent, flair, wizardry
So yeah, I’m with Einstein on this one.
Everybody is a genius.
You. Me. Everybody.
Right here, right now. Your gifts, your superpowers, your genius. Yours and yours alone.
Are you willing to declare what your genius is?
I’ll start. . .
My genius is the ability to call bull shit on your someday thinking, rattling your cage such that you can no longer stand it and find yourself compelled to take action.
Your turn. . .
Start thinking about it right now, so that by the time you get to the end of the post you’ll be able to declare it in the comments.
And to get you fired up about your genius even more, a few inspiring words from our pal Albert.
Oh yeah baby, I’ve been quoting this one for years! Over and over, we take the same damn actions expecting not only different results but a transformation of epic proportions. Yeah, good luck with that.
Want new results in life? You’ve got to say and do new things. Not rocket science (sorry Albert).
Clients often tell me they desire freedom. Great I say, it’s one of my core values, I totally get it. Let’s get this freedom train rolling!
But here’s the thing that messes them up…
They mistake freedom for a life without commitments.
Makes sense, right? No commitments = freedom to do whatever you want.
Then why are they still not happy?
Because commitments and freedom don’t work like that.
A lack of commitments doesn’t give you freedom. It gives you a boring, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied life.
No thanks.
Choose wisely, consciously and with your whole heart.
100% pure, untarnished commitment.
Which doesn’t necessarily mean you always want to (nice fantasy!) It simply means you take action on what you say you’re committed to. Because you said so.
And honouring your word is the key.
That is true freedom.
23. The intake of breath I hear when you are about to go deeper than expected.
22. Emails that share your excitement about a new project!
21. The reciprocity of the coaching relationship. I get as much as I give. Every. Single. Time.
20. Conversations about values.
19. An impromptu voicemail message with a joy-filled update!
18. Fanning the flames of your greatness.
17. Holding the space for you to step into the unknown.
16. Waiting for you to call, thinking of who you are and what you’re up to in the world.
15. Text messages sharing a win that you couldn’t wait to share!
14. Silence. . .sometimes uncomfortable, more often sacred.
13. Being with “I don’t know” instead of being an expert.
12. Connecting with people all over the world.
11. Igniting your desire to go where you’ve never gone before.
10. Switching up my hats – from cheerleader to kick-ass, from accountable to woo woo – I love it all.
9. Laughing with delight when you get that you KNOW what to do next!
8. Meeting in person when possible and hugging the you I know so well over the phone.
7. Asking a question that leaves you speechless.
6. Sharing my own journey and knowing we’re on the same path.
5. Eliminating an old belief that’s kept you stuck.
4. Letting you know I believe in you.
3. Crushing your someday thinking.
2. Lulling your lizard brain to sleep. Shhh. . .
1. Watching you share your gifts with the world.
For these 23 and so many more, being a coach is what I’m here for and YOU are why I do what I do.
Confession time. . .I’m easily excited.
You weren’t really surprised, were you?
Truth is, some days it hardly takes anything at all and I’m lit up like a roman candle!
I think of it as a way of being AND my relationship to the world.
Maybe that sounds Pollyanna-esque.
Maybe you think I’m wearing rose-coloured glasses, totally out of touch with reality.
But (and this is a very important but). . .
I’ll tell you why; because our conditioning begins in childhood with phrases like:
And you learn how to turn your excitement right down to a manageable level or even worse, suppress it completely.
That my friends, is a sad state of affairs.
“There are four questions of value in life…
What is sacred?
Of what is the spirit made?
What is worth living for?
What is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same.
Only love.”
– Don Juan de Marco
I’m a doer.
I like action. And results.
I really like results and making things happen.
But it’s a fast and slippery slope to a driven kind of energy that stops feeling good before I’ve reached the bottom.
The drive, the doing, the “making things happen”…all get in the way. Continue reading
Boy meets girl. I was 16.
Boy & girl grow up together.
Boy gives girl ring. Promises future.
Boy leaves girl. No longer a girl. I was 30.
The facts don’t tell the whole truth.
They rarely do.
For how could these simple facts tell the story of first love, promise and heartbreak without being a cliché?
I once read that however long a relationship lasts is how long it will take to get over it when it ends.
That was true for me.
While there was no happily-ever-after, this story lead me down the path of personal development, which lead to the work I love.
And that?
Has made all the difference.
“…Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
– Robert Frost
Burn baby, burn!
Stop beating yourself up with your shoulda/woulda/couldas.
Stop backing off just as you gain momentum.
Stop playing that damn comparison game.
Stop waiting for permission to do what you want.
Stop holding back because you need more training, experience. . . . . . .fill in the blank.
Stop brushing off compliments.
Stop focusing on what others say is important.
Stop adding to the to-do list that’s never getting done.
And please, STOP waiting for someday.
Start celebrating each and every win.
Start fanning the flames of your desire.
Start loving. . .truly, madly, deeply.
Start owning your gorgeous, luscious self.
Start reaching out, stretching up and growing inwards.
Start breathing – big, deep, belly expanding breaths.
Start sharing your enthusiasm and watch it go viral.
Start saying what you want, often and with abandon!
For that’s what you were born to do.
You know it. I know it.
Hell, we all know it.
And wouldn’t it be great if we all cut the crap and burned like a roman candle?