coaching

Telling the Truth About Love and Freedom

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 5 Conversations

 

“Freedom and love go together.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

Yes, they do, and this belief has caused a shift recently. . .

a seismic shift away from traditional coaching towards a more freedom-oriented way of working that focuses on harmony and integration rather than goals, productivity, and the usual suspects of the coaching world. That doesn’t mean you won’t get those results, but that you’ll get them with more ease and alignment with your values than you’ve ever experienced before.

And since I’m telling the truth here, this shift feels more like 6.3 on the Richter scale in the magnitude it’s had on my life and business.

Because as I’ve been mastering this new way of working with you, I’ve been going through it myself and the word that comes to mind is transformative; like those imaginal cells that have been at work for so long have finally completed their role.

What does that mean?

It means I really don’t give a crap about:

  • fine-tuning my niche
  • developing SEO practices
  • following traditional coaching guidelines
  • and other sundry tips from the experts on how to succeed online!

It means I’m trusting my gut and my soul’s whispers.

It means you get more of the depth and breadth of fifteen years of my own personal development and coaching journey.

“In the Freedom Sessions, Sandi brings knowledge, humor and genuine compassion to the process.  Everything is done in relationship, in an atmosphere of non-judgement.” – Ellen Berg

It means my deepest yearning is to cherish life in such a way that it exposes its tender heart.

It means I’m in service to that desire by focusing on love and freedom in every interaction.

It means my primary interest – and yes, I do have an agenda – is to help you expand into love and freedom in any area of your life where you currently experience struggle and constraints.

Love & Freedom collage by Sandi Amorim

This my friends, might be bad for SEO, but it’s right in every other way.

Especially in my heart.

Especially in my heart.

The Many Flavours of Freedom

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 34 Conversations

 

free·dom

– being able to think, choose, and act without constraint, or my simplified definition – the ability to do what you want when you want.

definition of freedom superimposed on ice cream cones

The focus of my work has shifted slowly, but surely towards freedom; no surprise really, as it’s one of my core values. I’ve found myself wanting to go deeper, into what freedom means to others.

I asked online and here’s what came back:

Freedom is. . .

  • the release of shoulds
  • being free to be yourself at every moment
  • giving yourself in service to others
  • feeling unconstrained
  • being able to choose how to spend my precious time

  • being able to still the turmoil in my mind

  • the ability to be myself in all ways, everywhere
  • knowing I am thinking my own thoughts, and not those of others

  • being able to speak my mind and do what I want, regardless of what anyone else thinks

  • doing only things I love and choose
  • having options, choices, and the opportunity to exercise one’s own will

Then there’s the more complicated, dictionary view:

Freedom – noun

1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
3. the power to determine action without restraint.
4. political or national independence.
5. personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery: a slave who bought his freedom.

So what exactly is it?

I asked some respected friends and colleagues this question:

What does freedom mean to you, and how do you nourish it in your life? 

Their words, and collective wisdom inspired me; so many flavours of freedom, each appealing in its own way and I realized the problem with freedom is that sometimes we take on someone else’s concept of freedom as our own.

Like letting someone who doesn’t know you pick a flavour of ice cream at random, you’re not likely to get what you want.

It’s why you might have the experience of constraint even when circumstances line up to produce the freedom you thought you were working towards.

So many options, grab a pink spoon and dip into the flavours below.

 

Continue reading →

There is No Finish Line

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 23 Conversations

 

“There is no finish line. There is no prize. There is no path, no schedule, no time line. There is no right direction, right choice, right way. All of that would imply there was something out there that is not here now. It would imply that there is something you could be that you are not now. You are the energy you are looking for. Right here. Right now.” – Jeddah Mali

These words by Jedda Mali have been on my mind lately. They speak to me of truth, and the duality of life.

No Finish Line

There is no finish line. No prize. No right way.

The little voice in my head hollers, “What’s the point then?” 

You see, I like getting to the end, reaching out for the prize, and feeling the satisfaction of completion.

I’ve learned that life doesn’t always deliver the prize the way we want it. When we don’t get what we want the ability to respond creates the future, while reaction takes us back to the past.

There is no finish line and there is no shortcut, but you’ll always come to know yourself better, and that in itself is a prize worth the angst.

No Right Way

How do you know which way to go if there’s no right way? What tells you you’re making the right choice?

All you can do is follow your heart, and if you listen it will show you the way. Some days it’s not that easy, the head is so good at distracting us with its obsessive need to control and understand.

Too often, the head wins out, and leads us down the path of survival.

The compulsion to understand is a powerful motivator, but when it gets in the way of what feels good, you’ve got to take a step back because understanding is almost always the booby prize.

Out There vs. Here Now

It’s easy to forget, to look outside yourself for comfort, validation, and love.

But no matter how much you get from others, it will never be enough if you don’t give it and get it from yourself.

"Stop looking outside yourself. You are the one you've been waiting for." - image taken at Ruby Lake, BC, Canada

You are the one you’ve been waiting for.

You, and only you, can give yourself what you need.

When you really get that, you and everyone else will be taken care of and the finish line?

Will disappear for good.

 

Speak Up (the Universe is ready for you now)

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 14 Conversations

 

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

These are the first two lines of a poem written by Geoffrey X Lane, a master speaker and trainer I recently had the privilege of working with. But more than a poem, for me it was a call to step more fully onto the path I’m being called to walk.

Have Your Say and Make Your Voice Heard. Sign at University of Essex, March 2011

Speak up.

Truth teller, cage rattler, warrior for you breaking through what stops you. I’m not interested in reasons or excuses, from myself or anyone else. I want us both to remember who we really are and why we’re here, and that takes speaking up.

Speak up in volume. Speak up and share what’s most important to you. Speak up and express what’s burning inside you.

And here’s the thing. . .

The more you speak up, the more natural it will feel, until that day when not speaking becomes uncomfortable. When that day comes, we all win.

Pay attention.

We get messages all the time through our senses and beyond, but are you tuned in to their frequency? And I don’t mean in some woo woo way, although there’s nothing wrong with that either.

I’m talking about taking care of yourself so that you’ve got the resourcefulness to show up and notice what’s going on all around you. The kind of self-care that goes deep, taking care of all of you, mind, body, and spirit.

When you are resourceful, paying attention becomes second nature.

Tell the truth.

People are judging and assessing you all the time, and guess what? You’re doing the same thing in return. Doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do, someone’s always got an opinion. Which kind levels the playing field, don’t you think? So stop worrying about it.

Tell the truth – about what you want but are afraid to admit.

Tell the truth – about what you’ve always wanted to say but kept silent.

Tell the truth – you will survive. You’ll also liberate yourself from the bullshit that keeps you stuck.

Celebrate your sound.

Your sound includes your actual speaking voice, as well as how you write and express yourself, and it’s time to own this baby!

Sing in the shower, yell in a forest, hear what you actually sound like.

And then embrace it fully, without judgment.

Since the workshop with Geoffrey I’ve found myself saying these words and feeling the power of them. Some days I hear which of the words need more energy, and it grounds me in the present moment. Other days I sing them to myself as a chant.

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

These words are working on me from the inside out, and that’s where all transformation begins.

 

Here is the full poem:

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

The universe is ready for you now
Speaking up doesn’t have to hurt
Just follow your heart – speak up

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

All you have to do is grow
You have the courage inside you
Feel the power of speaking up

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

Speak up for the warrior inside you
Tell the truth without judgment or fear
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

Speak Up – Pay Attention
Tell The Truth – Celebrate Your Sound

 

Speak Up – poem written by Geoffrey X Lane© 03/24/09

 

Cracking the Happy Code

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

 

Happy. Not happy. Happy. Not happy. Unhappy?

A client likened it to a personal Morse code tapping its way through her brain.

typewriter message reads, "Happy. Not happy."

We burst into laughter when she said it out loud. It was the laughter of recognition.

Questioning life. Questioning decisions. Questioning. . .everything. And yeah, I love asking questions and challenging and going deep.

Until I don’t.

Until the day comes when I just don’t want to explore another damn thing.

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

But did he mean for us to examine ad infinitum?

Continue reading →

Invoking the Rebel

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 17 Conversations

 

Back in my art school days, there were always students trying to emulate the über cool New York art scene. Their clothes, their attitudes, and most especially their art cried out, “Look at how arty and cool we are!”

I laughed because somehow I knew that trying so hard to look cool and be a rebel did not a rebel make.

One of our professors used to tell us often,

“You’ve got to know the rules to break the rules.”

Their mindset however was more “break the rules to break the rules” or rebellion for its own sake.

It seemed a superficial rebellion, and I wasn’t interested in that.

So I kept my head down and did things my way. I didn’t waste my time fighting against them or the ‘rules’ but instead focused my time and energy on what I wanted.

I became a covert rebel, flying under the radar, free to do what I wanted and it worked pretty well.

Fast forward to present day; I’m in the midst of rebranding and it’s not an easy process. In a way, it feels like I’m rebranding my life, not just my business.

You see, I’m about to turn 50 and while there’s no midlife crisis happening, there is a transformation in process and what’s coming up everywhere I look is the rebel.

Could it be at the golden age of 50 it finally feels right, and even necessary, to lead the rebellion?

What does it mean to be a rebel?

My rebel’s always been there, in charge and committed to living my core values of freedom and integrity, but is it time for her to step out and into the spotlight?

“A little rebellion now and then is a good thing.” – Thomas Jefferson

And then I found myself wondering if we all have a rebel inside.

So I asked this question in my communities. . .

What does it mean to you personally to be a rebel?

Here’s what I heard in response:

Being a rebel means,

  • following my own nose instead of the crowd’s nose
  • being myself and following my own rules
  • being me, not who they think I should be
  • acting from my place of being, not the societal standard
  • being willing to question, disagree, and choose a different path
  • it’s about integrity, showing up with all my values intact
  • living in what I want instead of what society tells me I should want
  • making my own rules, always checking in to see if my values and integrity are in line
  • moving beyond the social norms, the shoulds, etc.
  • listening to inner guidance instead of outside rules
  • living life truthfully
  • having the guts and tenacity to go after my dreams
  • letting my quirky freak flag fly

I was moved by the vulnerability and courage of these thoughts, and it seemed more true than ever that we all have a rebel inside.

“With rebellion, awareness is born.” – Albert Camus

 

Leaning Into Discomfort

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 17 Conversations

 

Welcome to the discomfort zone.

A place you visit infrequently for all too short periods of time.

Today however, we’re going to get comfortable with discomfort.

Is that even possible?

It absolutely is when you lean into discomfort instead of resisting.

palm trees, Kihei, Maui

It takes leaning into it intentionally because mostly, we’ll do anything to avoid discomfort.

“Discomfort means you’re doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they’re hiding out in the comfortable zone.” – Seth Godin

 Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.”

I say discomfort is a result of doing something new.

Every time you say yes to something new, discomfort arises. 

And resistance is never far behind.

Your resistance will look like reasons:

  • why you shouldn’t move forward
  • why it was a bad idea in the first place
  • why you should go back to what you were doing before.

So many reasons lulling you to sleep and inaction.

Your lizard brain is like that; it will say anything to get you to stop.

Except, you keep having these thoughts and dreams. . .

Dreams so wondrous they make your heart race.

Trust those dreams, and yourself to take the next step.

Continue reading →

It’s About Time

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 19 Conversations

 

It is time to disrupt your beliefs about time. 

disrupt your beliefs about time; image of antique clocks

1.  “I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” ― Jimi Hendrix

It’s time. . .to do more of what you want.

And feel how you want to feel in life.

Stop trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.

Stop comparing.

Start living YOUR life the way YOU want.

 

2.  “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ― Mark Twain

It’s time. . .to stop worrying about the future and what might happen.

The future isn’t real.

It’s completely made up and you, my friend, are the author of that story.

Start saying something new for the life you say you want.

 

Continue reading →

A Few Truths on Fear Busting

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 16 Conversations

You think fear sounds like truth, and then you take action that comes from a lie.

But when you pay attention to how things feels in your body, you start to realize that truth lives in vulnerability and fear is a lie.

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.” – Brené Brown

The fear that spins round and round in your brain is not truth, but you live like it is.

Then you keep telling that worn out story because it’s more comfortable than the unknown.

There’s shame in admitting that, so you pretend that you’re fine, that you’re not really paralysed by fear, and you live, metaphorically speaking, in a dark and scary neighbourhood.

That’s what your head is – a dark and scary part of town, that no one in their right mind would choose willingly.

fun and terror with shadows

Years go by, youur dreams fall by the wayside, and you settle for what’s known and secure and you decide that dreams are for other people.

Until one day someone asks, “What dreams did you have for your life?” and a wistful look appears, your voice softens and you speak long suppressed words.

I once dreamed of…

  • writing a book
  • becoming a singer
  • owning a restaurant
  • travelling the world

You give your head a shake, and laugh at your youthful desires.

What the fuck happened to those dreams?

Continue reading →