Self Care

A Surprise in the Mail

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 5 Conversations

Unleashed

Dear One,

In case you’ve forgotten, I’m sending this note to remind you that you are a shining, beloved soul.

Your gifts are many and your willingness to keep exploring and doing the work is inspiring.

I see you sometimes, so burdened by doubt and it breaks my heart. Who I see when I look at you is an extraordinary being who is all heart and commitment.

Unleashed. Fired up. And free.

This is who you are for yourself, and others.

love

Sandi Amorim signature

 

I wrote this note to myself at a workshop I attended a few months ago, no idea when it would be sent.

It came on a day I was beating myself up for not sticking to my writing schedule; self-recrimination and guilt eating away at me until I saw my handwriting on the envelope.

I tore it open, and felt the tears immediately, moved by what I had written so many months before.

A little self-love at exactly the right moment.

Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

No one is immune.

How Losing Your Mind Can Help You Find Yourself

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 12 Conversations

 

My description of a silent retreat is this…

thoughtful words of challenge painted on the front wall of the old skate arena at Red Hill, Brisbane.

And I’m only partly kidding.

Does the concept scare you?

When I talk about my love of silent retreats I often hear comments like,

“I could never do that!”

“That kind of silence scares me!”

“Why on earth would you do such a thing?”

But what I’ve learned from many retreats into silence is this. . .

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Does Your Mind Need a Detox?

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 29 Conversations

 

This time of year inevitably brings up spring cleaning plans of the physical space, both body and home. But that wasn’t enough for me and I began a month-long focus on spring cleaning from the inside out.

Including a detox of the mind.

de·tox

verb – to rid the body of poisonous substances

How do you know if your mind needs a detox? 

Notice how often you think negative thoughts (yes, these are poisonous substances.)

Notice how often you compare, criticize and complain.

With enough time, these ways of being become habitual and toxic, and left alone long enough they will become default; like running on auto-pilot. Which wouldn’t be so bad except this pilot does not have your well-being as a priority.

You may not realize how much that auto-pilot (aka: lizard brain) has taken over your thinking. You may not yet have connected that drained feeling you often experience to the thoughts you repeatedly think and the stories you live like the truth.

Mostly, you probably think if you just took better care of your body you’d have more energy. But it’s not that simple because you are a system, a trinity of mind, body and spirit and if one part is neglected it has an impact on the whole.

Just like the crap that accumulates in your body when you don’t take care of yourself, your mind gets bogged down by crap of another kind, and rather than pretend it’s not there, sweep it out and make room for something new.

So where do you begin this detox?

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Spring Cleaning from the Inside Out

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 20 Conversations

 

According to Wikipedia, spring cleaning is the practice of thoroughly cleaning a house in the springtime. According to Martha Stewart, it’s a bit more detailed with a three page checklist celebrating the satisfying rite of the annual clean.

Once upon a time, I was enamoured of all things Martha. What? Don’t look so surprised!

But then I grew up and realized picture perfect cakes and anal-retentive holiday decorating was not my style.

So why am I talking about Martha?

Because underneath the surface of all that spit-and-polish, handmade, homemade OCD there are nuggets of wisdom to be found – kind of like finding that favourite shoe that’s been missing for months under the couch!

Her spring cleaning checklist suggests going through your home, room by room, with a detailed list of tasks. And while that’s all good, and I’m sure my home could use that kind of attention, my mind-body-spirit could use it even more, so that’s where my cleaning strategies and I are focused.

woman meditating, dancing

A new perspective on spring cleaning! 

 

Spring Cleaning from the Inside Out

Mind / Office

One of the great things about working as a life coach is the opportunity to continually do my own inner work.

For me to give my best, I have to make sure this ‘room’ is spacious and clear. That doesn’t mean I have to be perfect and have everything handled, but that I regularly take a look at what’s working and not working in my own life and business.

Working with Jenny Bones in creating the Summer Camp for Solopreneurs has presented this kind of opportunity. As we’ve created the Camp’s curriculum, I’ve uncluttered my schedule to make time for more work I love, and am in the process of clearing physical space in my office.

While I’m amazed at what I get done with the stacks of books and materials around me, I also know I’m more productive and intuitive when my physical world is clean and clear. This creates room to move, and space to breathe and create.

 

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A Recipe for Soul Food

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

 

My soul is nourished by a generous helping of the following ingredients:

 

a period of silence and solitude

wooden bench at Rivendell labyrinth, Bowen Island

+

space to breathe

leaf strewn path at Rivendell, Bowen Island

+

time with my Self

+

beauty to stir my spirit

=

soul food of the most nourishing kind

mural at Vancouver Convention Centre, Chief Dan George quote

 

“Dreams nourish the soul just as food nourishes the body.” –             Paulo Coelho

 

Repeat as needed.

#reverb11 is a prompt driven writing project during the month of December. Its purpose is to inspire reflection and create intention for the coming year.

This post was prompted by Day 10 – Soul Food: How do you nourish your soul? 

 

What It Takes to Commit to Optimal Health

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 16 Conversations

 

The Homage to Self-Care continues with a guest post from my friend Farnoosh Brock, one of the most inspiring people I know when it comes to well-being and living well. 

 

What does it take to commit to the kind of exercise routine you have? What stops people from keeping their word once they begin?

My friend Sandi throws these questions at me casually, as though she is asking if I’d like some wine and soft music. So what does it really take to wake up at 4:30am after only 5 hours of sleep – I tend to work till at least 11:00pm and even then I am tearing myself away and forcing my mind to shut down for a while – and to drive in the dark (and soon, cold) to go to a hard-core 5:45am class 5 days a week? What does it take to do it twice some days, with an evening cycling routine thrown in?What does it take for you to stick to it?

I am tempted to repeat my husband and say insanity. I am tempted to echo my most recent promise to myself, which is that I have got to have Demi Moore’s body at 48: Drop Dead Gorgeous, and believe me when I say that there are just a handful of celebrities I worship. I am even tempted to credit my fantastic self-discipline.

Ah, rubbish! None of that works at 4:30am!

To be honest, it all started with a deep-rooted fear and one I am not ashamed to admit: that of growing weak, of losing muscle mass, of losing my stamina and flexibility and agility, of losing my intense and boundless energy someday, of not begin able to catch my breath after a flight of stairs, and of getting fat – yes, I said fat, not obese, not overweight, but just FAT – and of feeling old. Quite simple: paranoia!

Then a funny thing happened: the intense exercise, deep yoga practice, and meditation came to rescue me from my paranoia state.

Farnoosh Brock in backbend

Not only have they restored me physically with a fit, strong, healthy body; they have also assuaged the fear and taught me to accept that aging is a fact of life and to learn to do it gracefully and slowly.

And that is fantastic! That alone makes me want to tell you to go out there and commit fully to a regimen and never think about giving up.

 

But another thing started to happen: I started to see far more productivity, more creativity, and more energy, more drive toward my goals and dreams everyday.

I started to think about more ideas, and I became tougher in the face of failure and disappointment and soon, the irrational fear that brought me here started to disappear. I admit, there was even a period of a couple of months where I experimented with my productivity by slowing down my intense exercise greatly so I could “work harder” and I am convinced that was a poor decision in hindsight. Now, after re-committing to my old routine of intense exercise, my body has never felt stronger and happier.

The main problem is this: you underestimate what a healthy and strong body can really do for you.

You don’t attain optimal health so that you just grow to a very old age or avoid doctors and hospitals. No! It is much more than that.

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Intending for Good

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

 

Consider that every behaviour has a positive intention.

Once you’ve let that sink in, you’ll then start to see that everything you do is self-care in some way.

For in that moment of choosing, you are caring for some part of yourself, perhaps meeting an unspoken need.

B&W doodle on paper

No matter how strange or inappropriate your behaviour may seem in hindsight or to others, it makes perfect sense in the moment you choose it.

This is not the truth, but when you act as if it is, it becomes an empowering statement of belief.

The key is to appreciate the positive intention of the behaviour.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree with it or even like it. It’s just that there’s an opportunity when you look past the behaviour and focus on the intention. I promise, you’ll find one every time.

“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by my self.” – Brian Andreas

As you look back over the past three weeks and our focus on self-care, what can you now acknowledge?

My guess is you may have been judging and assessing your actions and/or follow-through. Not necessarily new or empowering thinking, is it?

Why not act as if everything you’ve done (or not done) has had a positive intention?

Instead of judging where you are, shift to the positive. There’s always a gift if you rein in your impatience.

And since it’s all made up anyway. . .make up something good here, OK?

 

The Ultimate Approach to Self-Care

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 21 Conversations

 

The Homage to Self-Care continues with a much needed perspective on care of the mind, from my favourite inner explorer, Sandra Pawula of Always Well Within. 

 

The ultimate way to care for your self is to make friends with your own mind.

Why? Because the mind is the creator of happiness and the creator of suffering; the creator of goodness and the creator of harm. How you experience your world – your internal world and the external one – all depends on how you perceive.

[pullquote]”There’s nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – Shakespeare, Hamlet[/pullquote]

Who’s the Boss?

Simply said, there are three avenues through which we create happiness or suffering for ourselves and others: the body, the speech, and the mind. But which one is the boss?

I’ll let you in on the secret right away. It’s the mind that’s running the show.

You might say, “Hey, wait a minute. I suffer because my body hurts. Isn’t it the body that’s the culprit?”

But it’s not the pain sensation itself that determines how we perceive it. A prime example in mainstream medicine is the way that pioneers like Jon Kabat-Zinn are teaching mindfulness meditation as a highly effective pain reduction technique. You don’t have to be a meditation master to see the beneficial effects. Mindfulness meditation is a safe form of medicine that works extraordinarily well when it comes to pain reduction and improving other types of illness for ordinary people like you and me.

Biofeedback is another mechanism through which we can manipulate physiological functions and control processes like brain waves, muscle tone, skin conductance, heart rate, and pain perception with the mind.

So it’s not the body that’s in control. The mind is powerful and can indeed transform our perception of physical experience. But it does take training.

When it comes to speech, what you say is entirely up to you and is determined only by your mind – unless you happen to be controlled by demons! Your words are the result of your thoughts and emotions.

Of course, there are times when you “speak without thinking.” But even so the words didn’t appear out of thin air. They’re the result of your own habitual patterns of thinking, emoting and responding which have created specific neuronal circuits in your brain. Exciting breakthroughs in modern science show us that these confused neuronal pathways can be redesigned as we consistently change our patterns of thought and action.

So back to mind.

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Reclaiming SELF-ish!

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 4 Conversations

 

The Homage to Self-Care continues with a guest post from my Self-ish friend and awesome coach Rita Kampen.

 

Given the choice of becoming more selfish or more selfless I suspect I know which one you’d assume you’re supposed to pick. I mean, come on – this stuff has been drilled in since before we could talk.

Suzy, don’t be so selfish, share with your sister!

And  it worked and we’ve learned to share, and when we don’t, we feel guilty. But why do so many of us feel unsatisfied, unhappy and just plain confused about how to navigate our own lives and our relationships?

I am proposing that we take the distorted definitions of selfishness and selflessness and bend them back so we can see more clearly.

Are you ready for the twist? This will only hurt your brain for a second.

I say it’s time to be more Self – ish!

Yup, you heard me right!

graffiti word selfish

Definition: in the spirit of ‘ish’ (the housework is done-ish, come by at ten-ish) so that SELF-ish is actually closer to the vicinity of Self, being in tune with what the Self needs and desires; getting into the ballpark of our unique gifts and offerings so we can get in the game we were intended to play.

And to complete the twist, I declare that it’s high time we stop being Self-less.

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