Coaching

25 Breaks to Energize You

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 36 Conversations

 

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed and drained in your day-to-day life isn’t it?

Inundated by email, voicemail and texts for starters, there’s an unspoken assumption that you should be available 24/7. And that’s before taking into account your kids, spouse or partner!

24/7 . . .

Do you really want to be that available?

I felt my energy drain just writing that!

The truth is everything in life is either giving you energy or draining it. The best way to combat the energy drain is to be at your most resourceful by building up and replenishing your energy throughout the day.

This is an opportunity to get creative and proactive about your self-care – a very good thing to take on during this month-long Homage to Self-Care

With a little attention, you can integrate these breaks into your life and with practice, develop new habits that top up your energy leaving you feeling better than ever.

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10 Ways to Improve Your Emotional Well-Being

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 28 Conversations

 

In the mind-body-spirit system, all three parts need attention to make up your emotional well-being.

And before you go thinking this is a life balance kind of post, let me assure you it’s not. I don’t believe in balance. I know, shocking right? What kind of life coach am I anyway?

One that doesn’t buy into a lot of the BS out there in the personal development world. The much hyped, elusive life balance, in my perhaps-not-so-humble opinion, is like the carrot dangling forever just out of reach. No thanks. It doesn’t work for me, and I haven’t seen it work for many others either. Time to let it go and move on.

[pullquote] “Our essence is change. We are movement. Being out of balance is life.” – Chris Boucher[/pullquote]

No, I’m talking about all parts of the system, working together, ebbing and flowing like the tides.

When I first wrote about the mind-body-spirit system, I asked you to rate yourself in each part on a scale of 1 – 10.

Here’s a reminder of what that looked like for me:

Mind – 9/10

Body – 3/10

Spirit – 7/10

Not bad, still relatively stable; picture a 3 legged stool.

Now imagine two of the three ratings at 3 or lower and only one above 7. I’m pretty sure you’d be sliding onto the floor looking like a rag doll.

So don’t go there. Instead, start taking steps to improve your emotional well-being. It’s not rocket science, and yes I know, some days it’s not that easy.

But since you’re here paying homage to your self-care this month, what have you got to lose?

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The System of You: Mind, Body & Spirit

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 21 Conversations

You are a system that consists of mind, body and soul.

You are a system that consists of mind, body and spirit.

three figures in reflection In this trinity, you probably have a preference, an area that comes effortlessly and alongside that, an area of challenge.

For me, the focus on the mind is taken care of with almost no thought as I read constantly, love learning and sharing what I’ve learned with others.

My spirit is cared for, although a bit less reliably, but I do make time to meditate, unplug and attend silent retreats as often as I can.

The system is challenged most in the physical, my body, and over time, this has taken a toll.

As I shared in the introduction to this month-long Homage, what works for me is to take things on in community with an aspect of accountability.

Well then, what better place to be held accountable than right here on my blog?!

Because here’s the thing…

Your body doesn’t lie.

This comes up a lot in my coaching work with clients.

Mostly because we don’t generally pay enough attention to what’s going on in our bodies and there’s a cost to that. A cost to our well-being and energy, but also to our emotional resourcefulness.

But instead of listening to our bodies, we ignore, rationalize and suppress most of the messages our bodies are giving us every day.

What do you think might show up if you really started paying attention, listening to those messages?

What positive impact would it have to check in with yourself throughout the day asking,

“What message is my body giving me right now?”

For example:

  • Your back twinges.
    • Do you move away from your desk, stretch and/or make yourself a cup of tea?
    • Or do you push through the twinge and keep working for another hour?
  • Your neck feels tense.
    • Do you drop your chin, close your eyes and roll your neck from left to right feeling the tension release?
    • Or do you give your shoulders a quick shrug and quickly get back to work?
  • Your belly growls.
    • Do you jump up to grab a snack?
    • Or do you check in, listening for what it needs. Food? Water? Distraction?
“No more words. Hear only the voice within.” – Rumi

Your body is constantly talking to you; are you listening?

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Paying Homage to Self-Care

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 53 Conversations

 

Homage: respect or reverence paid

Self-care: care for oneself

For a few months I’ve been shifting my focus to self-care due to some physical challenges. Nothing life threatening, but challenging none the less.

In my enthusiasm and passion for the work I love (coaching & writing), I’d been spending increasingly more time at my desk, focusing on my mind and forgetting the body and spirit part of the system.

Here’s what my body reminded me of. . .

It’s not about what you know, it’s about how you live and the choices you make each day.

Ouch. They say we teach what we most need to learn, and I’m getting the message loud and clear!

female sculpture in front of grass

 

Brene Brown says that calm is the ability to manage your emotional reactivity.

Calm is a superpower.

Truth is, it’s pretty tough to manage your reactivity when you don’t feel resourceful or when you’re body’s in crisis.

 

The shift to focusing on myself, specifically my body has not been easy and it doesn’t come naturally to me.

My tendency is usually to focus on and be there for others, and I know I’m not alone in this.

Friends, family, clients – I hear it often – everyone is challenged by the daunting task of taking care of ourselves.

Why is that?

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Harnessing the Butterflies

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 12 Conversations

 

Once long ago, I had a dream to do something creative with my life. As a child, I coloured, drew pictures, wrote stories and just knew that somehow that would continue to be part of my life.

At 18 I applied to art school. I wanted nothing more than to paint, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

That was my first real memory of the butterflies; seized by anxiety and fear, I chose to trust and follow those elusive fluttery creatures.

But I didn’t fit the stereotype of a brooding, starving artist. I was smart, happy, in a relationship and looking forward to my future, which in the end did not go the way I’d planned.

The relationship ended and the art dream died, along with my positive outlook on life.

Bitter, cynical and more than a little jaded, I gave up my youthful dreams and joined the rat race. The stories I’d been telling myself were more real than any reality and I was stuck.

Fast forward six years; I’m sitting in a course trying to create a new future. The trying only created a headache, not a vision that inspired me in any way. The more I tried to come up with the right words, the right future, the less inspired I felt.

I sat in my chair resigned that I would ever have what I wanted in life. So I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath. Then another. I felt the pressure ease, my mind relax. I heard the voices of my group around me, but I just kept breathing.

In and out. . .and suddenly, I heard myself say, “I want to travel, meet people and take photographs.”

I looked up and people around me were smiling. At that moment I wasn’t quite sure why. It seemed insane, a pipe dream with no way of becoming reality.

But my group encouraged me to keep those words alive, even if I had no idea how to make it happen.

So I let myself dream.

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Yesterday You Said Tomorrow

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 41 Conversations

 

Tomorrow you’re going to take that trip; you know, the one you’ve always dreamed of.

Tomorrow you’re going to write that book; you know, the one that’s been burning inside you forever.

Tomorrow is going to be the day you have fun; no really, the whole day just to play like a child.

But the days turn into weeks, and then into months.

The tomorrows add up and turn into years.

And you look back and wonder. . .

What the hell happened? 

They say time flies when you’re having fun.

Ha! It also flies when you’re saving up your tomorrows.

But. . .

What if today you did something different?

What if today you took one new action?

Because here’s the thing. . .

You’ve said tomorrow far too often and far too long.

You know it’s true.

It’s time to start saying (and doing) something new.

NOW.

Like shifting from someday thinking to ==> “Hell yeah, what one action can I take today?”

Like hearing your lizard brain and saying ==> “Screw you Lizzy! I’m gonna make that call!”

Like listening to your heart’s desire and saying ==> “YES, I hear you now.”

Others have done it.

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Plugged into Silence

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 26 Conversations

 

The plan was to take a few days off, meander through rural Washington and spend some time with my husband Mark.

Masters of the road trip, we often leave town for 3-4 days with his camera and my laptop in hand.

Time together pursuing our passions. His passion for the seaside towns of the Pacific Northwest often get him out of bed early, while I settle in with a cup of coffee and my laptop. Usually, I organize or find Internet access so that I can check in. Not quite unplugged, but the volume turned down considerably.

This time however, I unplugged completely.

We wandered, relaxed, took photos, read books and enjoyed each other’s company.

Silence crept in, at first like an uninvited guest.

two buddha heads side by side

But I soon found myself appreciating it, my mind no longer wondering what was happening elsewhere. I know from past experiences with silent retreats that I am nourished by silence, but in the busyness of life I forget.

Be here now.

Easier said than done sometimes.

Most times.

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Disarming the Critic

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 1 Conversation

 

The Vagabondage Series:  Elana Baxter on lizard busting.

 

I recently became aware of just how much and how often my inner critic pipes up to tell me how badly I am doing things. How much better, more productive, kinder, and more __________I need to be.

black and white image of hand holding cup with word critic on it

And when the critic isn’t telling me that, it’s attacking my body, eating habits, parenting, cooking and cleaning.

Be more!

Do more!

It’s a constant rant punctuated only briefly by sneaks of quiet.

I have come to the only sane conclusion that a woman experiencing this incessant haranguing can. . .

The inner critic must die or at the very least it must be sedated. Heavily.

I am tired of beating the shit out of myself. Every ounce of energy spent hating on myself, nitpicking, correcting, disallowing and crapping down my own throat!

I can’t get that energy back. And I can’t get the time back.

It’s gone. Forever.

Here’s what I do in order to allow some space and begin showing myself some love and compassion.

I disarm the voice.

You know the voice, right?

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Being With What Is

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 21 Conversations

 

Guest post by Rita Chand – Sharing the being part of human being.

 

I’d just hung up the phone with Sandi after calling her to help me deal with something. She had asked if I was up to writing something about this experience I was having, that it was something her readers could probably relate to. I love Sandi so saying no to her isn’t an option. Little did I know I’d be inspired to write something as soon as I hung up the phone. But she’s good like that.

[pullquote]“There is the risk you cannot afford to take and there is the risk you cannot afford not to take”. ~ Peter Drucker[/pullquote]

On Monday, I found out I didn’t get a job that I really really REALLY wanted. The process lasted a month, the job was exciting and amazing and it was everything I wanted. Everything I’d been talking about for quite some time. Happiness couldn’t be found sitting at my desk day after day anymore – I needed more, desired so much more. And this job offered it.

But, I didn’t get it. After all that, someone else did.

And it’s okay. . .ultimately it is.

It wasn’t meant to be.

There are bigger, BETTER things out there for me.

It’s her loss.

And all the other platitudes that people say to make us feel better. They want to help so they say what they know to say. I appreciate that. But we all know it doesn’t help. None of those things help. And I think we know that too. God bless people for being so awesome.

My friends are sad for me. . .well actually, most of them are just sad that I am sad. They didn’t want me to move away, so some have shared they are relieved.

So yes, it is okay. Ultimately.

Does it feel okay? No. Did I cry for 2 days after? Yes.

Even at the gym. I just cried. I’m disappointed. Heartachingly, gut wrenchingly disappointed.

sculpture in dejected pose

I don’t know about you, but I don’t do disappointment very well.

In fact (don’t tell anyone I said this) I think disappointment is one of the worst emotions to deal with. I’d rather be pissed off. Or better still, indifferent. I can do those really well.

But to sit in my own disappointment. . .forget it.

Disappointment is like the cooties of feelings. There’s nothing redeeming about disappointment. It just downright sucks.

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Mastering the Art of Living

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 6 Conversations

 

On the left side WORK. . .

“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” – Buddha

Which part of that statement is true for you?

Half? Neither?

Be honest with yourself.

 

 

On the right side REALITY. . .

“The person who is a master in the art of living makes little distinction between their work and their play, their labour and their leisure, their mind and their body, their education and their recreation, their love and their religion. 

They hardly know which is which. They simply pursue their vision of excellence and grace in whatever they do, leaving others to decide whether they are working or playing. To them, they are always doing both.” – Zen Buddhism text

Now imagine this. . .

Work you enjoy.

Work that fulfills you.

Work that you’re here for.

On this Labour Day. . .

let yourself begin creating a new reality.