Be A Waker

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 18 Conversations

 

“A waker is someone who is very good at waking other people up from their metaphorical slumber, temporary or otherwise.” – Hugh MacLeod

So, are you? A waker I mean.

I am.

I look back at my life and remember all the times I just had to rock the boat and wake people up.

Being a waker had me leave the 9-5 world and become a coach, a job that actually pays me to wake people up.

Life’s funny like that.

But being a waker isn’t necessarily an easy path in life.

As Hugh MacLeod says,

“A waker reminds you on a constant basis,  just how alive you really are….And there’s something about their influence that makes you utterly unable to go back to “sleep” ever again, in spite of your best efforts.”

Think about it. . .a lot of people don’t want to be woken up. Waking up takes courage and it’s so much easier to keep your head down and play it safe.

Sometimes. . .not often, but there are moments. . .I wish I could go back to those days of being less conscious, less awake.

But not really. Continue reading →

The Body Never Lies

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 21 Conversations

“Your body has a story to tell you. In order to take better care of your body, you have to find out about its needs. And the best way of discovering what will nourish and nurture you is to simply ask yourself.” – Cigdem Kobu

If you’ve never asked yourself this type of question, you might be surprised at how your body responds, how willing it is to communicate.

Your body has a story to tell. Your job is to listen.

Listening to your body is about letting its messages come through; messages you’ve ignored or avoided, messages overshadowed by the busyness of life.

Not listening has a significant cost to your well-being as I remember so well.

Continue reading →

Let Them Eat Cake

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

 

If every behaviour has a positive intention, instead of flogging yourself and donning a hairshirt, why not look back and see a lifetime of you taking care of you?

Shaking your head in disbelief and doubt? I know, I hear it from clients all the time. I’m not going to lie, I even have to remind myself now and then.

But think about it like this for a moment. . .

You wouldn’t keep doing the things you do unless there was value for you in there somewhere. You just wouldn’t.

white cupcake with chocolate frosting

The stuff you do that feels good ==> positive intent.

ie: You buy organic because it’s healthier for you and better for the environment, which leads back to you feeling good.

The stuff you do that you suffer about ==> positive intent.

ie: You ate the stale cupcake because in that moment you felt sad about a friend that passed away recently, which lead to a need for comfort and the cupcake reminded you of your mom and how she used to bake treats for you as a kid (comfort), which leads back to you feeling good.

See? Positive. 

Whether it looks healthy and organic or iced and stale. . .all positive.

Are you getting this?

That’s why everything you do is self-care in some way.

Continue reading →

Mea Culpa, Mea Corpus

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

 

Mea culpa.

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve cared for you, cherished you the way you so deserve.

Mea corpus.

My body, strong, resilient, reliable. . .oh how I’ve neglected you.

It’s time for a heart to heart. To make amends.

 

Do you know you’re beautiful exactly the way you are?

No? That saddens me and yet I’m not surprised. It’s not something I’ve often said to you, is it.

Mea culpa mea corpus.

For I should have made sure you knew. I didn’t.

Instead, I focused on my mind, showering it with love and attention. You, got very little, and still you thrived, glowing with health for most of my life.

Have I thanked you?

No? That saddens me too for I pride myself on being mindful, appreciating the good in my life.

And you have been so very good.

Mea culpa.

I know you’re tired, and a bit worn out but I have finally heard your whisper. I am so grateful you have not given up.

The time has come and I’ve promised to give you my full attention.

My heart and devotion.

I have a lot to make up for, but I’m willing.

Mea culpa my beautiful body.

It’s time for a new beginning.

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” – Maya Angelou

Over to you: 

  • Write a letter to your body.
  • Ask forgiveness for however it’s gone to date.
  • Then create and promise a new future.

 

This is an exercise from the 66 Day Self-Care Challenge. Take part in the challenge by commenting and using the #66days hashtag and connecting with me and C.A. Kobu on Twitter. Download the workbook  and leave a comment below. 

 

 

Lighten Up While You Still Can

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 7 Conversations

 

What if the 66 day challenge could be like this poem by Hafiz?

I used to live in a cramped house with confusion and pain.
But then I met the Friend and started getting drunk and singing all night.
Confusion and pain started acting nasty, making threats with talk like this;
If you don’t stop that – all that fun – we’re leaving. 

I’m not suggesting we all get drunk, but the idea behind it, the positive intent Hafiz suggests – that fun could make the difference to a challenge – IS appealing.

angel display Museum of International Folk Art Santa Fe New Mexico

What if these next 66 days could be fun, at least some of the time?

And what if you could lighten up just a little. . .or even a lot?

There’s no right way to do this thing.

The 66 day workbook is an awesome resource but it will make no difference if you feel dominated by it. I’m suggesting you use it in a way that works for you, because being rigid is never a good idea. Ever.

So, if the exercise portion seems too intense => chunk it down to what you CAN do, and do that a little each day.

And if you’re intimidated by the idea of meditating => start with 5 minutes daily for the first week.

This is YOUR self-care process and you get to say how it’s going to go, and what it’s going to include.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, no matter how good the solution.

The more willing you are to use the workbook and adapt it to your needs, the more likely you’ll see results.

Me? I’m going to crank some music and dance for 5 minutes!

Take it easy, take it easy 
Don’t let the sound of your own wheels 
Drive you crazy 
Lighten up while you still can 
Don’t even try to understand 
Just find a place to make your stand 
and take it easy 

– The Eagles

 

The End Is Always the Beginning

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

two halves of broken egg shell

The idea for this homage to self-care came out of a conversation with Cadi Jordan and Tara Cieko over lunch some time in early September. There we were enjoying lunch, conversation and a little pampering, when we found ourselves wondering how we could take better care of ourselves in general.

The three of us are extremely capable business women, but we noticed we didn’t always look after our own well-being the way we look after others. Business, clients, family. . .all frequently took precedence. Sad, but true and not unique to us as this comes up often for many of my clients.

Of course that got my little grey cells working!

What would it take to commit to self-care for one month?

That’s the question that got me thinking. As a solution-focused coach I’m all about finding ways to move forward rather than focusing on the ‘right’ or perfect solution, and in my experience that often takes getting creative and getting support.

Years ago I did a year-long personal development program with a core belief that anything you want is available through community. And so I began by reaching out to my network of coaches and consultants with a passion for human potential.

And what an extraordinary group of people I’m blessed to know. I was reminded of the saying, “if you can make a dream happen on your own, your dream’s not big enough.”

Improving or honouring your self-care may not seem like a big dream to some, but when you’re struggling in this area of life, feeling more energized and taken care of is HUGE.

But where to start?

Continue reading →

The First 66 Days of Taking Better Care of Yourself

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 30 Conversations

 

The Homage to Self-Care continues with C.A. Kobu delivering a generous helping of wisdom and self-care resources! 

 

You’ve been reading fantastic articles about self-care during this month-long Homage to Self-Care.

You learned about different methods of practicing radical self-care.

[pullquote]“Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional and mental states.” – Carol Welch[/pullquote]

You realized you could be selfish.

And you discovered the formula for an instant self-care vacation along with many other fabulous lessons.

Now you’re inspired enough to start a love affair with yourself. And the first step of that love affair is resolving to make self-care a deep-rooted habit.

  • How long will it take for you to be able to say that self-care is a part of your daily life?
  • When will you be able to feel the joy and comfort of having attended the needs of your mind, body and soul?

You must have heard that it takes 28 or 30 days to form a habit, but let me tell you that it’s not true.

66 Days in a Row

According to a recent research reported in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it takes 66 days on average for a healthy resolution to become an enduring habit.

This means, unless you commit to taking better care of yourself for 66 days in a row, self-care will not a become a part of your life.

It will sit there in the air just as an idea you cherish and be excited about from time to time whenever something makes you realize how much you need to care for yourself.

It will remain as a “should” or a “must” but it will never be a soothing and healing part of your daily life. Thus, your love affair with yourself will be nothing but a one-night stand.

You don’t want that, do you?

So, I’m here to challenge you to commit to a 66-day program.

Will you join me? If you do, the rewards will be terrific and you will have formed a powerful habit of daily self-care!

You can’t cut your well-being out of any part of your life, including your business. So, it’s about time you (and I) started working on this long-neglected relationship.

[pullquote]“Motivation is not a matter of will-power, it is a matter of want-power.” – Paul Karasik[/pullquote]

But Be Careful About Your Motivators

Self-care should not stem from fear or blind ambition. It’s true that when you take better care of yourself, you become healthier, slimmer and more beautiful. But you should accept these delights only as the natural byproducts of self-care and not consider them the sole goal of your efforts.

In other words, commit to taking better care of yourself chiefly because you love yourself and you know you deserve that kindness.

Your Free 66-Day Self-Care Program

Each week of your 66-day self-care program includes a writing/journaling exercise, breathing and fitness exercises, meditation and/or yoga and another activity that will strengthen your relationship with your body.

 

Continue reading →

An Affair of Self-Care

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

 

The Homage to Self-Care welcomes Jackie Walker’s perspective on self-care, relationships and self-love. 

 

When Sandi asked me if I’d like to do a guest post on self-care, I jumped at the chance as this is exactly what I’ve been putting in place for 8 years now. In the process of learning, I’ve had hurdles, I’ve had setbacks, I’ve had jubilant moments of gloriousness.

It’s been a roller coaster of self-care. And that’s ok because if you even know that you’re on the roller coaster, you’re mastering the art of self-care!

Building a relationship with yourself is one of the hardest things to do. It seems counter intuitive at times, until you learn that it’s the whole point of your life. Everyone else and everything else is simply there to give you a chance to notice where you aren’t caring for and loving yourself.

There are so many tough lessons for us all to learn, until we realise how to make it easy on ourselves. A lot of that is down to resistance and perspective. Without resistance things flow. To stop resistance, change your perspective.

If only it were that simple!

I got into the world of personal development after my marriage broke down. Or, I’d be more correct in saying after I broke down in my marriage.

faceless woman and mask against wall The people who show up in a relationship are often not themselves.

I wasn’t, and I’m sure you’ll have been in a relationship – business or personal – when you haven’t been yourself.

So if the person who isn’t showing up, then chooses to show up, it’s almost like an affair, there’s a third-party. Given that all day, everyday, you are relating to others, it would be extreme self-care to relate as you, the real you, the one you sometimes don’t like and would rather you’d left at home!

One of the things that used to stump me was knowing who I really was in order to be that person. When I started paying attention to my thoughts, my feelings and my body, I soon found what felt good and what didn’t.

I spent ages just getting to know when I was feeling naturally good, and when I was feeling unnaturally charged or drained. Unnaturally charged or drained seemed to come about through the wrong food, the wrong situations, the wrong company, the wrong words, the wrong answers etc. Following the advice in the rest of this glorious series, will give you starting points to help you find the natural you.

If you knew how to turn up as yourself in your relationship, what would that mean you had to start doing, or stop being?

Continue reading →

What It Takes to Commit to Optimal Health

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 16 Conversations

 

The Homage to Self-Care continues with a guest post from my friend Farnoosh Brock, one of the most inspiring people I know when it comes to well-being and living well. 

 

What does it take to commit to the kind of exercise routine you have? What stops people from keeping their word once they begin?

My friend Sandi throws these questions at me casually, as though she is asking if I’d like some wine and soft music. So what does it really take to wake up at 4:30am after only 5 hours of sleep – I tend to work till at least 11:00pm and even then I am tearing myself away and forcing my mind to shut down for a while – and to drive in the dark (and soon, cold) to go to a hard-core 5:45am class 5 days a week? What does it take to do it twice some days, with an evening cycling routine thrown in?What does it take for you to stick to it?

I am tempted to repeat my husband and say insanity. I am tempted to echo my most recent promise to myself, which is that I have got to have Demi Moore’s body at 48: Drop Dead Gorgeous, and believe me when I say that there are just a handful of celebrities I worship. I am even tempted to credit my fantastic self-discipline.

Ah, rubbish! None of that works at 4:30am!

To be honest, it all started with a deep-rooted fear and one I am not ashamed to admit: that of growing weak, of losing muscle mass, of losing my stamina and flexibility and agility, of losing my intense and boundless energy someday, of not begin able to catch my breath after a flight of stairs, and of getting fat – yes, I said fat, not obese, not overweight, but just FAT – and of feeling old. Quite simple: paranoia!

Then a funny thing happened: the intense exercise, deep yoga practice, and meditation came to rescue me from my paranoia state.

Farnoosh Brock in backbend

Not only have they restored me physically with a fit, strong, healthy body; they have also assuaged the fear and taught me to accept that aging is a fact of life and to learn to do it gracefully and slowly.

And that is fantastic! That alone makes me want to tell you to go out there and commit fully to a regimen and never think about giving up.

 

But another thing started to happen: I started to see far more productivity, more creativity, and more energy, more drive toward my goals and dreams everyday.

I started to think about more ideas, and I became tougher in the face of failure and disappointment and soon, the irrational fear that brought me here started to disappear. I admit, there was even a period of a couple of months where I experimented with my productivity by slowing down my intense exercise greatly so I could “work harder” and I am convinced that was a poor decision in hindsight. Now, after re-committing to my old routine of intense exercise, my body has never felt stronger and happier.

The main problem is this: you underestimate what a healthy and strong body can really do for you.

You don’t attain optimal health so that you just grow to a very old age or avoid doctors and hospitals. No! It is much more than that.

Continue reading →

Intending for Good

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

 

Consider that every behaviour has a positive intention.

Once you’ve let that sink in, you’ll then start to see that everything you do is self-care in some way.

For in that moment of choosing, you are caring for some part of yourself, perhaps meeting an unspoken need.

B&W doodle on paper

No matter how strange or inappropriate your behaviour may seem in hindsight or to others, it makes perfect sense in the moment you choose it.

This is not the truth, but when you act as if it is, it becomes an empowering statement of belief.

The key is to appreciate the positive intention of the behaviour.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree with it or even like it. It’s just that there’s an opportunity when you look past the behaviour and focus on the intention. I promise, you’ll find one every time.

“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by my self.” – Brian Andreas

As you look back over the past three weeks and our focus on self-care, what can you now acknowledge?

My guess is you may have been judging and assessing your actions and/or follow-through. Not necessarily new or empowering thinking, is it?

Why not act as if everything you’ve done (or not done) has had a positive intention?

Instead of judging where you are, shift to the positive. There’s always a gift if you rein in your impatience.

And since it’s all made up anyway. . .make up something good here, OK?