Consider that every behaviour has a positive intention.
Once you’ve let that sink in, you’ll then start to see that everything you do is self-care in some way.
For in that moment of choosing, you are caring for some part of yourself, perhaps meeting an unspoken need.
No matter how strange or inappropriate your behaviour may seem in hindsight or to others, it makes perfect sense in the moment you choose it.
This is not the truth, but when you act as if it is, it becomes an empowering statement of belief.
The key is to appreciate the positive intention of the behaviour.
This doesn’t mean you have to agree with it or even like it. It’s just that there’s an opportunity when you look past the behaviour and focus on the intention. I promise, you’ll find one every time.
“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by my self.” – Brian Andreas
As you look back over the past three weeks and our focus on self-care, what can you now acknowledge?
My guess is you may have been judging and assessing your actions and/or follow-through. Not necessarily new or empowering thinking, is it?
Why not act as if everything you’ve done (or not done) has had a positive intention?
Instead of judging where you are, shift to the positive. There’s always a gift if you rein in your impatience.
And since it’s all made up anyway. . .make up something good here, OK?
“And since it’s all made up anyway. . .make up something good here, OK?”
Oh MY gosh!! I’m sure I’ve heard versions of that sentence before but today it really landed – and the image that won’t go away is … playing dressup as a kid. Trying on all sorts of things on the outside and seeing how you feel when you look in the mirror – and enjoying the reaction of your sister! Life is like that and when do we think we’re too old for dress up and begin to take it so seriously?!
It’s all about the human adventure! So many options. So many opportunities. So many unique manifestations of a singular thread … having a most awesome, varied, oft teeter-tottering, full-bodied, dynamic, luscious, slightly messy, always interesting LIFE!!
I think I’ll start right now …. What am I making for dinner tonight??
Something good!!
I love the juxtaposition of luscious and messy!
I love that we can shift from struggle to adventure in a heartbeat.
I love that I have people in my life who so willingly explore the adventure with me.
xoS
Indeed we are always acting in our own best self-interest (aka with positive intention)! Reminds me of something my dad said before when he noted that I love to volunteer and help others…why? Because it feels good to ME. So in my selflessness I was being selfish – and that’s a good thing :).
I think if we took the time to examine each action we took, we’d really see the positive intention I’m talking about. The problem is we don’t often look.
Wonderful point – self-reflection is a place that many don’t come to often enough. Living in a state of awareness and keeping an eye out for the positive intentions is terrific advice!
Sandi, this is positively brilliant. So much so I know I haven’t completely grasped it, but I will.
Carol,
Check out my recent example in action…We were at a party and at the end of the night the hostess gave Mark a few cupcakes to take home. A couple of days later I was obsessing about the cupcake. I wanted it but knew I really didn’t. So I asked myself, what do I really want? In that moment I wanted to be comforted. I was thinking of the friend who passed away last week, feeling sad, not wanting to feel sad and I thought the cupcake would help me feel better. Yeah, not so much. Newsflash (to myself): it’s never about the cupcake!!!
You’re right, Sandi. It’s NEVER about the cupcake. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Sometimes the hardest thing we do is recognize opportunity.
It’s the rare person who looks for the positive intention and recognizes the opportunity. Takes practice is what I know for sure!