The plan was to take a few days off, meander through rural Washington and spend some time with my husband Mark.
Masters of the road trip, we often leave town for 3-4 days with his camera and my laptop in hand.
Time together pursuing our passions. His passion for the seaside towns of the Pacific Northwest often get him out of bed early, while I settle in with a cup of coffee and my laptop. Usually, I organize or find Internet access so that I can check in. Not quite unplugged, but the volume turned down considerably.
This time however, I unplugged completely.
We wandered, relaxed, took photos, read books and enjoyed each other’s company.
Silence crept in, at first like an uninvited guest.
But I soon found myself appreciating it, my mind no longer wondering what was happening elsewhere. I know from past experiences with silent retreats that I am nourished by silence, but in the busyness of life I forget.
Be here now.
Easier said than done sometimes.
Most times.
You have to create space for silence. The speed of life for most of us doesn’t allow for time to be still, time to be quiet, time to be with your Self.
It encourages us, expects us to keep pace, stay on top of it all or. . .
Or what?
- Readers will leave.
- Numbers will go down.
- Clients will go elsewhere.
- Influence will decrease.
Ahh, the voice of the lizard brain speaks up yet again, luring me with its fear-based chatter. That’s what I heard as I realized I would be more unplugged than anticipated.
But here’s the funny thing that happened. . .
That initial moment of angst was replaced by space.
The space replaced by silence.
In that silence I was present.
Three days turned into five.
Be here now.
And I was.
In my case, that unplugged silence is infact a huge noise in disguise, but the good side of it is it’s a personal one. This personal big noise is made by all the ideas that were sleeping inside me, waiting for that unplugged time to start their noisy carnival, which is rather amusing and really amazing at times!
That’s what happened once when I made a twitter diet some months ago, had a relatively long Internet disconnection (something like two weeks!) but the difference is I never planned a holiday to go anywhere, and I still needed to create and produce ideas in my creative/bizzy explorations… and since I was swimming in “writing” explorations, that noise took the shape of an amazing dozen of written personal concepts… just plain craziness lol, but I love them and I’m keeping them for convenient moment/situation where I can use them 🙂
I still need to do a new Internet diet for some days to produce new ideas and visions in design contexts. I feel those noisy visual ideas can’t play their crazy orchestra unless I offer them a big and calm space.Do you remember what “guitar heroes” do to super charge their playing? They seal their guitar somewhere and refuse to touch it for one month or two. Result? Their are starving to play and when they do, they produce extraordinary art. I think it’s the same process somewhere.New mornings:At the beach: whenever we camped near the beach in summer, I was always the first to get up, very early, and was always the first person to totally OWN the whole beach for myself!How I love those moments, somewhere around 6 or 6h30 AM, when it feels just like 10 or 12ham but without the heavy heat, and me enjoying the huge space to run, swim, stand up looking at the horizon, swim in water far enough then look at the beach entrances where people may come from, from my vast perspective… those moments are huge, just as huge as when I stay late to see people leave too: same: swimming relatively far and watching people leave, it’s kind of said a little bit, especially at the end of holidays… or simply the end of the day, until it’s really dark.
So of course, alternating silence and noise can be really a big pleasure. As well as marrying digital and non digital activities, or going through them alternatively.
@Sandi: very glad you took some unplugged days to taste that delicious silence, hope you can do it/appreciate it more often 🙂
I agree Karim, finding a balance between the noise and the silence is definitely the goal and the challenge! Most days the noise wins and I’m finding more and more that this no longer works for me. I’m starting to play with the idea of even one day unplugged per week, and how that would shift my perspective and energy. I think it’s time to experiment!
Silence helps with clutter, for sure. It just needs to be louder (ha ha) than all the other demands of day to day. Bit of a shift to make it so, but worth it.
Thanks for your thoughts, Sandi.
If I wait for it to get louder it’s almost too late, like I then have to recover in some way. The learning has been to make the time and space for it before I get to that point. Still working on it!
I will never forget the Wednesday after I did the Landmark Forum. It had been an exhausting weekend, but a good one. Lots of things to get complete, lots of conversations to have. Life to love. Be present for. I started driving to work with no stereo on. I left my mp3 at home when walking to work. I hadn’t slept much in 4 or 5 days and then I came home from work on Wednesday, I closed the curtains, I put on my pajamas, and I sat on the couch and heard nothing. No noise in my head. Nothing. It was the quietest I’d been…ever.
I went to bed. And had quite possibly the best sleep I’d ever had in my life to that point.
Thanks for the reminder. We’re not going anywhere. We just miss you. Which makes it that much sweeter when you come back.
As much as I love people and my work, more and more I feel a magnetic pull towards time alone, spent in silence. It’s like that time recharges my batteries so that I’m able to come back and do more of what I love. It’s an interesting dynamic that I’m getting used to.
Sandi,
I am nourished by silence too, yet there can be the resistance and the fear. Which you outline so clearly. I take time for silence every day now and I’m actually increasing my quota. In the end, what’s important to me is knowing my own mind in all it’s facets of emptiness and appearance. That’s what will be important when I die. Not the number of blog readers I have. That’s what’s important in every moment – being aware and letting go instead of going with the negative emotions and habits.
I’m delighted by your growing commitment to nourishing yourself with silence. I support you fully.
Back to work today, getting caught up and I find myself already thinking of the four days of silence I have scheduled in November. The challenge now is to make time every day as you’ve suggested. I’m definitely working on it!
Truly beautiful and I am so envious and proud of you for going on this “retreat” with Mark, dearest Sandi. Did you also meditate some or was the silence already overpowering? 🙂 I need a vacation like this soon! Most of my getaways are into big cities and lots of activity, which I do love, but I must return to meditation. Your words here are so empowering. I wonder if you realize it. And great photo!!! Mark take it?
When I look at my past, most of my holidays have been like yours – to big cities with lots of activity. I love that energy! The thing I’ve discovered the past few years though is that it really is the silent time, the quiet getaways that nourish me. In the speed of life, it’s disconcerting at first to be completely unplugged, but once I settle into it? Empowering as you said.
Funny thing is, when I sit down to meditate I get all antsy, but when I sit and enjoy the silence, time disappears. So perhaps for me it works best to think of it as being with and in the silence.
Sandi, it’s good to hear that you’ve enjoyed some time off.
Personally, this years holiday helped me plug into silence. All I did for about 5 days, was just stay on the beach, tanning and reading. And it helped a lot.
It helped me get some well deserved rest and declutter my mind.
Exactly Eugen, a decluttering of the mind!
Sandi, I am leaving you a quiet note here, it says ‘Ah so that’s where you have been. Was wondering…glad it is all good stuff…’ *tip toes quietly away*
Ahh Jane, it truly was all good stuff. Will be in touch soon.
You are really a mistress to these quiet times away…I have always admired that you can revel in silence for such a long time. I can take a day or two here and there…in fact my being almost demands it. But you know what? I took a week this summer and it was so lovely I almost didn’t know how to get back in to the SM mahem! Isn’t that weird? I also started taking back my weekends. I pretty much unplug each weekend to just be…with my family, cooking, enjoying a book. I am liking these mini-rests…
I am glad you had such a nice time…and I am glad to see you back.
xoxo
Kelly
I love these quiet times away. They balance the busy, social, outgoing times and keep me sane! They’ve become that important to me. Looking back, I think I’ve been this way a long time, just ignored it a lot. But no more! Like you, I love these mini-retreats more than I ever thought possible!
Ditto what Rita said about us not going anywhere, just missing you. I’m trying to start each morning in meditative silence, but it is amazing how quickly my mind chatter/noise convinces me I don’t have time for such an indulgence. Silence an indulgence? How silly! I think lizard brain is afraid of it, but I’m not. So there! (Sticking my tongue out at lizard brain.)
Funny thing I noticed, when I try to meditate it doesn’t go well, but when I just sit with the silence? Spacious, peaceful result.
Hmm, isn’t that what meditating is? Works for me, anyway. 🙂 Lovely post, thanks.
Maybe it’s just the language! By calling it meditation I trigger my resistance, but when I just let myself be with the silence…magic 🙂