writing

No One Does It Alone

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 7 Conversations


Buddha in profile, monks walking away

No one does it alone.

It’s easy to forget that.

Maybe your past has turned into a story about why:

But everyone needs help sometimes. Especially those of us who think we can go it alone.

It’s tough to talk about; God knows I don’t like admitting it.

But here’s the truth I know today. . .

No one can or should do it alone, and even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.

We’ve all got stories, plenty of them, but those stories suck the joy out of life and lead to a dark and scary neighbourhood where your lizard brain thrives.

It’s easy to hang onto the stories and forget that you have amazing people in your life. Call me Pollyanna but I am certain that you do.

People who light you up with their joy, show you the way when you feel lost and love you no matter what.

This is a love note to them.

 

Dear One,

Who you are is a recent gift, for which I am grateful.

Who you are gives me comfort, and like Linus with his blanket I feel safe.

Who you are is a beacon, lighting my path when I think I’m at the end.

Who you are is love in human form; remembering your hug makes me smile.

Who you are for me reminds me of who I am for others.

Some days I have to dig deep to remember you are there, nestled safe and snug in my heart.

Some days I try to avoid who you are, for your light reflects mine. . .and I can hardly be with that.

And when you, yourself, forget who you are, come to me and I will tell you. Search my heart and you will find. . .you.

You remind me that I don’t have to go it alone.

And with my whole heart I thank you.

xoS

 

 

The Who of You

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 48 Conversations

Who are you?

 

Who are you?

When someone asks this question, it’s easy to fall back on the obvious. . .

  • where you’re from
  • what you do for a living
  • if you’re married or single

You know, the usual suspects.

But you also know how utterly inadequate (and often boring) those answers are.

You do know that, right?

Some people say they’re the sum of all their experiences in the past. They have long, drawn out stories of why they are the way they are.

Others, thinking they’re clever, declare adamantly “No! I’m better than my past because I’ll never be like my mother/father/that/them!” but that just makes their future a reaction to the past.

Which leads us back to the beginning.

Who are you really? 

And what if that answer was generative instead of related to the past?

gen·er·a·tive

:: capable of producing or creating

In the moment, you can create who you are.

That doesn’t mean you make it up or lie; just that you consciously choose who you say you are.

Your DNA gave you form.

Your words create your world. 

They create the WHO of you.

 

I am. . .

first-born * Aries * prairie girl * ocean lover * Mediterranean * creator * listener * lover * ass-kicker * Fire Starter * wife * daughter * sister * BFF * smart * playful * passionate * writer * coach * instigator * blogger * book lover * pescatarian * extrovert * a collision waiting to happen * spark to your flame * leader * photographer * muse * gypsy spirit * cage rattler

I am all that. . .and more.

Because even that juicy list of descriptors doesn’t cover the gift that is me.

It does tell you a helluva lot more than the facts though:

Born in Winnipeg, live in Vancouver, professional life coach, married to a great guy.

Nothing wrong with those facts. They’re just a little dry.

 

Mostly, you haven’t got a clue who you are.

You fall back on old, familiar stories from the past. It’s easy, you don’t have to think about it, everyone does it. I get it.

But imagine playing with it a bit.

And the next time someone asks, “Who are you?” you smile so big before responding. . .

I’m a gift, who are you?

* Cue dazed, wide-eyed look of bemusement.

Sounds ridiculous, but trust me, it engages people in ways the facts will never do.

My personal favourite is “I’m a collision waiting to happen” and then I have a blast explaining what that means to me.

I unwrap the gift and share my passion, my zest for life, my joy.

Because really, joy trumps fact every time.

 

 

 

On Grace

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

 

Sometimes I hear a word and question its meaning.

stone angel, Vancouver, BC

What is grace?

 

Like grace.

Kindness, mercy, goodwill, favour. . .all words that speak of grace.

But what is it really?

Is it a way of being, an attitude, an experience?

The definition most appealing to me is from William Hazlitt,

“Grace has been defined as the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.”

This resonates, but still gives me no real access to grace.

Then I remembered a question I first read in Conversations with God,

What would love do now?

The answer to this question gives me direct access to grace.

It helps me let go, forgive. . .move on.

It displaces everything leaving only grace.

 

My Sunday offering – grace in the words of others: 

Anne Lamott  ::  “I do not understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” 

Some emotions and experiences move through us like weather. Others, like grace leaves its presence.

Brennan Manning  ::  “To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark.”

The light and the dark. Resisting the dark causes suffering, while accepting it opens the door to grace.

Mary Oliver  ::  “You can have the other words – chance, luck, coincidence, serendipity. I’ll take grace. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I’ll take it.”

Like Mary Oliver I’m not sure what it is, but I”ll take grace too. There’s a depth and a mystery to it that appeal to my soul.

Rumi  ::  “Give up to grace. The ocean takes care of each wave ’til it gets to shore. You need more help than you know.” 

Give up, surrender, let. it. in.

Anne Lamott again  ::  “Sometimes grace works like water wings when you feel you are sinking.” 

Water wings for the soul; a heart pleasing vision.

 

And my personal favourite,

Karl Barth  ::  “Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.”

 

I want to know what it means for you, and leave you with the gift of these words.

What would love do? 

 

Nothing to Be Done (a poem from the ocean)

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 4 Conversations

looking at Pacific Ocean from Kihei, Maui

I used to worry

I was too intense

or not good enough.

they sometimes got confused

flowing one into the other.

I used to wish I was kinder,

slimmer, nicer

more loving

less judgemental. . .

but how could I be

when I was not that for myself?

until one day

I looked out and

saw the ocean,

or perhaps the ocean saw me.

a vast

constant

perfect ocean.

and then a new thought

emerged,

washing away the old.

a vast

constant

perfect me.

exactly the way I am

exactly the way I am not.

the drop of rain that falls

the wave that rushes in.

I am that,

I am. . .all of it.

and for once

there was nothing

whatsoever

to be done.

 

Where Your Heart Is, There You Will Find Your Treasure

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.

 

Whether he meant them to be or not, when my father-in-law threw these items into the box at the back of his closet they took on new meaning. Did he ever think that one day I would go through the box and wonder?

For I did wonder at these treasures.

Why had he kept them? What meaning did they hold? What did they tell me about this man I loved and admired?

And so I examined Malcolm’s treasures.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” – Paulo Coelho

They spoke to me of a life of curiousity and passion, a life of many and varied interests. They spoke to me of values.

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Good News, Bad News

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 26 Conversations

 

The good news is

what you can be, you must be.

The bad news is

you can not change your roots.

 

An acorn must become an oak tree, 

and you must become you.

sunlight streaming through trees

Set aside your resolutions,

unleash your resolve and rest.

The space in between is patient,

the outcome is assured.

 

Then repeat after me. . .

“I resolve to become more fully myself.”

 

 

 

 

Prompted by A Year With Myself, a year-long adventure in empowerment.

 

 

 

The Space in Between

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

 

Space. 

Vast and immeasurable, but not out there.

A space unlike any other.

A space not yet clear.

Not like the space that shows up reliably every January; a space that compels you to think of what you want for your life.

And not like the space of completion; an invitation to look back, reviewing and learning from what’s been.

This is the space in between – the unexamined field.

sitting on the beach in West VancouverAs often happens when I begin to explore an idea that’s been niggling at me, it seems to show up everywhere.

First, in my research on lightning, I learned there’s a word for the space between the moment you see lightning and when you hear the thunder -svaha – a word of mysterious origin, some say Native American, I say intriguing.

Then the space of anticipation, waiting for the first prompt of the year-long adventure A Year with Myself, and a question from Patti Digh that took me by surprise:

What spaces are you standing between?

When was the last time you thought about the space in between?

I let the question sink in until the hair on the back of my neck stood up, the magic of the prompt working its way through my consciousness.

The space in between.

Think of the times you’ve been uncertain or the moments of discomfort as you stretched way beyond what you know.

In between.

Did you rush to step into a more familiar, tried and true space or or pull back paralyzed by fear?

What is so terrifying about the space in between?

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Threads of Creativity

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 7 Conversations


Day 24 – Creativity

If you think of your life as a tapestry, what are the threads that have been with you as long as you can remember?

My primary thread has been creativity. The colour of the thread nay have changed over the years as I moved from painting and  printmaking to photography and now writing, but the thread has been consistent.

It’s how I express myself, and what feels most natural to me.

elderly Hispanic woman creating ceramics at Jackalope, New Mexico

Like this woman I came upon at a market in Santa Fe last year, I’m positive I will still be expressing my creativity as I get older. It’s part of who I am.

But how about you?

Do you own and acknowledge your creative gifts?

Or do you believe you are not creative?

Maybe you were told as a child that you were no good at drawing, writing, painting. . .fill in the blank.

 

It’s sad when that happens, when an adult says something that damages a child’s belief in themselves.

What if that adult was wrong?

cre·a·tiv·i·ty

– characterized by originality of thought; having or showing imagination: a creative mind

We are all creative in some way and just because you can’t draw a stick figure to save your life doesn’t make you less so.

Picasso said, “The chief enemy of creativity is good sense.”

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Ramblings of an Overactive Mind

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 14 Conversations

Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things

At the start of the month I was introduced to Reverb, a month-long writing challenge. Like other online challenges I’ve done it’s introduced me to a new community, and as in any group, individuals stand out.

Jason Benoit stood out like a sore thumb.

His blog, Love Letters & Suicide Notes, is a foreign land, a land in which you might lose yourself in words or perhaps fall into a darkness which could scare you off, never to return. It’s this tension that makes his writing powerful.

I read a lot, and skim even more, so to catch my attention and leave me on the edge of my seat not wanting a story to end is quite a feat. There are probably hundreds of Reverb posts being published each day; his is one of the few I look for.

It’s that compelling. And, it’s not for the faint of heart. It challenged me to stay with it, to keep reading, and I’ve gotta tell you it is not easy reading.

It is however, extraordinary reading because he masterfully shines the light on our darker emotions, the ones we most try to hide.

Jason writes about the humanity of living; the good, the bad and the often ugly, and I appreciate that. It’s easy to put on a happy face, smile big,  and make it look like you’ve got life handled. What’s not easy is baring your soul, and yet he does.

So beautifully.

His writing reaches out and invites you in, even when he’s writing about a traumatic event from his past.

And when he writes about beauty, connection, intimacy – the emotions we all want more of – it is heart-breakingly beautiful.

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Walking In Wonder

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 12 Conversations

 

When you walk, how do you walk exactly?

Odd question, I know.

What I mean is do you look straight ahead or down at the ground? Do you look people in the eye or avert your gaze at all costs? Do you march military style or stroll like it’s Sunday afternoon?

How you walk says a lot.

Labyrinth at St. Paul's Cathedral, Vancouver, BC

I look around, I look at people, and I look like I know where I’m going.

For years I couldn’t understand why I got asked for directions or why people so often chatted with me on the bus.

Now I know.

It’s the walk.

But that’s only the day-to-day walk.

There’s another walk I’ve been thinking about.

How do you walk in the world?

Are you light-hearted, downtrodden or skeptical? Optimistic, resentful or curious?

What’s your way of being when you walk through life?

Just like your physical stride, this walk speaks volumes.

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