values

Choice + Commitment = Freedom

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 18 Conversations

 

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose – and commit myself to – what is best for me.” – Paulo Coelho

Clients often tell me they desire freedom. Great I say, it’s one of my core values, I totally get it. Let’s get this freedom train rolling!

But here’s the thing that messes them up…

They mistake freedom for a life without commitments.

Makes sense, right? No commitments = freedom to do whatever you want.

Then why are they still not happy?

Because commitments and freedom don’t work like that.

A lack of commitments doesn’t give you freedom. It gives you a boring, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied life.

No thanks.

So choose.

Choose wisely, consciously and with your whole heart.

100% pure, untarnished commitment.

Which doesn’t necessarily mean you always want to (nice fantasy!) It simply means you take action on what you say you’re committed to. Because you said so.

And honouring your word is the key.

That is true freedom.

 

Post Cards from Someday

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 5 Conversations

 

postcards from Maui

If someday sent you a postcard, what would be on it?

 

When I first saw the title of Andrea Olson’s guest post I had my doubts. I thought, “Doesn’t she know how I feel about someday?” But then I read the post and realized she does know and she’s got a unique spin on it that she shares in today’s guest post. 

When I was a teenager, I read a work of fiction re-imagining Charles Darwin’s journey to the Galapagos Islands. I tumbled so deeply into the story that I felt I was there; observing the wildlife, feeling the sweat run down my back under the heat of the equatorial sun, making notes in a battered leather notebook.

Upon finishing the book, I said to my mom, “Someday, I’m going to go to the Galapagos Islands.” She merely nodded and continued folding the laundry.

Fast-forward some twenty years. I’m standing before a large cardboard box that holds the contents of my career as a lawyer. Random papers. Chewed up pencils. A plaque that describes my many wonderful attributes as the employee of the month. A half-eaten Snickers bar.

I have just quit my job. After many fits and starts, I’ve finally admitted to myself that I do not want to practice law. I simply don’t like it and I’m not doing it again. Nope. Never.

Despite my resolve never to practice law again, I have no idea what I’m going to do next. Even more frightening, I have no idea what I want to do next. None what-so-ever.

That is when someday sweeps in to save me.

An oversized post card arrives in the mail describing a trip to the Galapagos Islands, leaving in two weeks.

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Ruminating on Waves

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

 

“The ocean takes care of each wave ’til it gets to shore.” – Rumi

I’ve always loved the ocean.

It soothes me when troubled.

Inspires me when open.

And calms me when in need.

Reliable as the tides.

“It is easy to believe we are each waves and forget we are also the ocean.” – Jon J. Muth

waves rolling in at dog beach, Kits Point, Vancouver, BC

“The wave is the same as the ocean, though it is not the whole ocean. The Ocean can exist without the waves, but the waves cannot exist without the Ocean.” – Paramahansa Yogananda

You are the same as the people you admire and respect.

They’re just riding a different wave.

It’s easy to forget you are part of something bigger than yourself.

Something as big as the ocean.

You’re afraid to believe that you are that big.

But believe it or not. . .

You are that big.

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Where Your Heart Is, There You Will Find Your Treasure

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.

 

Whether he meant them to be or not, when my father-in-law threw these items into the box at the back of his closet they took on new meaning. Did he ever think that one day I would go through the box and wonder?

For I did wonder at these treasures.

Why had he kept them? What meaning did they hold? What did they tell me about this man I loved and admired?

And so I examined Malcolm’s treasures.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” – Paulo Coelho

They spoke to me of a life of curiousity and passion, a life of many and varied interests. They spoke to me of values.

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Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 20 Conversations

 

Day 17 – Saying No

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” – Dr. Lissa Rankin

 

You’re so good at. . .

You should be a. . .

No one else can do it like you. . .

We need you to do it. . .

Nothing new here, you’ve heard it all before.

You have things you can do, things you’re good at, maybe even things you’re better at than anyone else. But unless you feel good about doing them it’s time to start saying NO.

True story:

Before I became a coach, I did many different jobs and I was good at pretty much anything I tried.

There was the year I worked for a publishing representative. I love reading and writing and I had a lifelong love affair with books. What more could I ask for? Nope, not for me.

Then there was the year I did research and development for a post-secondary institution. Loved the challenge of finding the right material, enjoyed supporting the instructors in creating their courses and was pretty brilliant at it, if I do say so myself. But did it light me up and make my soul sing? Nope, not a peep.

Two years of freelance photography and being my own boss. . .this was it, right? Nope, not even this, although it came closer than anything else I’d tried.

Each time I was lured by the challenge, seduced by the feedback that I was doing a great job and lulled by security.

But here’s the thing I knew in my gut and ignored. . .

None of that work came close to touching my soul or using my own particular genius.

I was just good at it.

Being good at something truly doesn’t mean you should be doing it.

“Lean in. Listen up. Closely.
It’s your soul speaking and she says, 
Get UP! I need you. I want you. I am you. Choose me.
Lean in. Listen up. Closely.” – Danielle LaPorte 

Are you willing to listen that closely?

Right here, right now, listen up.

L I S T E N.

Your soul’s been speaking for a very long time. It might sound like a whisper, butterflies stirring, or a long slow breath.

Take a good, long look in the mirror.

Is that the expression of someone who is lit up and inspired by life?

If your answer is yes, celebrate! It takes courage to shine that brightly.

If your answer is no, consider it’s time to start saying no so that you can say YES to the genius burning inside you.

You are ready.

 

Over to you:

In 2012. . .

  • What’s on your “stop doing just because you’re good at it” list?
  • What’s on your “hell yeah, that sets my soul on fire” list?
You owe it to your genius to find out. 

 

#reverb11 is a prompt driven writing project during the month of December. Its purpose is to inspire reflection and create intention for the coming year.

 

Creating Space for the Holidays

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 6 Conversations

 

The Vagabondage Series:  Wherein Elana creates space and lets the holidays in.

 

If you’re reading this, you made it through the recent Black Friday holiday shopping frenzy. Congratulations. If you participated, you have my admiration for surviving it, and if you didn’t, you have my admiration for choosing not to.

Whether you’re celebrating Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or La Posada, the holidays are a busy stretch of rituals, drunk uncles, symbolism, and festivity. Although, in recent years, the winter holiday season has become less synonymous with its original meaning  and more reminiscent of a feverish 30-day shopping extravaganza. Malls and boutiques are crawling with people and lousy with so-called bargains. Advertising and marketing departments spare no tactics or expense with glitzy, over-the-top commercial and print ads featuring the hottest electronics, cosmetics, fashion, food, and all manner of tchotchkes.

But you know that isn’t what it’s all about, right? Continue reading →

Living a Life Less Ordinary

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 11 Conversations

A life less ordinary takes integrity.

It takes being a stand for something greater than yourself and today’s spotlight Stacey Herbert lives this way.

You might be wondering why I’m posting a Friday spotlight on Saturday and my answer is integrity, or rather a breakdown in integrity. I’m going to be writing more about this in future but for now let me just say this –

the level of integrity that’s gotten you to wherever you are becomes insufficient to take you to the next level of whatever you’re up to in life.

Simply said, what got you here won’t get you there.

And I’m talking about my own integrity for a moment. I could give you the reasons and excuses for why the spotlight didn’t run yesterday, but what’s important is that it didn’t, not the why. Part of the power that lies in integrity is the ability to acknowledge and clean up the breakdowns quickly, without the drama.

How could I not own this breakdown and then have Stacey here as a guest? She writes brilliantly about what she calls the integrity gap:

What started out as an integrity breakdown has quickly become an opportunity to realize there’s a gap, and what better time to own that than here in Stacey’s light?

So without further ado here is Stacey Herbert, a fellow philosopher (we both love the work of Brian Johnson and his Philosophers Notes). I encourage you to read her blog and follow her adventures. I trust you will fall in love with her as I have.

 

headshot Stacey Herbert1.  Why are you here?

If you’d asked me this question a little while back I may not have been able to give you an answer. I was stumbling through life, having wonderful ups and life altering downs.

I had no focus and struggled to put a label on me or identify my purpose in life.

Then something incredible changed in me. It’s been a long time coming and at times very painful, but it’s opened me up to who I am and why I’m here.

Although it scares me to articulate it publicly, the reason I am here on this earth is to love, encourage, enable and support people to live their best, most highest, audacious life. It doesn’t sound like much of a job description, but I’m slowly coming to terms with that. My first task is to lead by example.

Continue reading →

What the Heck Is the Point?

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 43 Conversations

 

Why do you do what you do?

Love.

Money.

Purpose?

What compels you to take action when you’re paralyzed with fear?

When the lizard rears up in its loud, persistent glory?

It’s said that if you have a big enough why, anything is possible.

People like Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Theresa, and Gandhi (the usual suspects) all started with “why.”

It was their why that enabled them to do what they did, inspiring others and achieving remarkable things.

It might sound blasphemous, but I don’t think of them as extraordinary human beings.

They were just like you and me. Ordinary people with one major difference.

They had a very BIG why.

What’s yours?

And is it big enough?

[pullquote]“That which is within you and expressed will set you free, but that which is within you and not expressed will eat you from inside.” – Book of Thomas[/pullquote]

Your why is yearning to be expressed.

Why do you do what you do?

Without a clear answer to this question. . .

What the heck is the point?

 

 

The Humanity of Needs

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 11 Conversations

Mural & graffiti wall Portland Oregon

According to Anthony Robbins, human beings have six basic human needs:

Certainty – to be comfortable and avoid pain

Variety – to have stimulus, change and surprise in your life

Significance – to feel special and worthy of attention

Connection & Love – to feel connected and loving, of yourself and others

Growth – to feel fully alive and continually growing

Contribution – to contribute beyond yourself, creating meaning and serving the greater good

We all have these same needs, we just get them met in different ways, both positive and negative.

For example:

You can meet your need for certainty by deciding to believe in yourself OR deciding to never leave your house again. Yes, both those decisions meet the need.

This happens all the time and explains why we so often begin things only to sabotage and lead ourselves to failure. I think that’s also when your lizard brain makes itself known!

Anything you find difficult but love to do, you can bet it’s because some of these needs are being met.

And when you have a sense that taking an action will meet many of your needs, you’re more likely to follow through.

On the flip side, if there’s something you put off, ignore or avoid doing, it’s because how you currently think of it causes a feeling of lack, that it won’t fulfill any of your needs.

Here’s the interesting thing about these needs –

Anything you do can meet ALL of these needs if you change your perception (what you notice and/or believe) or your strategy (how you get it done). More on that in a future post.

It all starts with awareness.

You’ve got to become aware of not just what you’re doing, but why you’re doing it. This awareness can then lead to a new strategy to fulfill on what you want in life.

What if for one week you simply noticed how your needs show up?

Nothing to do, nothing to fix.

Just notice.

 

Over to you:

  • Which of the six needs do you focus on most?
  • What do you do to meet that need?
  • What do you make it mean that you focus on that need?
  • And what if it didn’t mean that at all?

 

 

The Practice of NO

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 21 Conversations

 

Ever notice how Italians say “No” with attitude?

It’s a big, decisive, full-bodied NO.

Curl your tongue to form a strong N.

Follow with a short punchy O.

Learning to say no with this kind of surety is the best way to say good-bye to overwhelm and resentment.

Because here’s the thing you’ve been avoiding. . .

How did you get to this point?

It’s not tough to figure out. I’ll bet you said yes quickly and without much thought. Yeah, I know. I’ve done it too.

You’re probably inundated every day. Requests, favours, tasks and a never-ending to-do list. It’s so damn easy to get caught up in saying yes.

(Which frequently sounds like, “sure, no problem, yup, any time” said with a weary smile on your face.)

I used to be a yes gal – an automatic “let me help you with your project/job search/relationship/fill-in-the-blank” frickin’ YES!

I admit it.

I love helping others, I’m easily inspired, and YES felt pretty damn good!

Until it didn’t.

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