“There are four questions of value in life…
What is sacred?
Of what is the spirit made?
What is worth living for?
What is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same.
Only love.”
– Don Juan de Marco
I’m a doer.
I like action. And results.
I really like results and making things happen.
But it’s a fast and slippery slope to a driven kind of energy that stops feeling good before I’ve reached the bottom.
The drive, the doing, the “making things happen”…all get in the way. Continue reading
Burn baby, burn!
Stop beating yourself up with your shoulda/woulda/couldas.
Stop backing off just as you gain momentum.
Stop playing that damn comparison game.
Stop waiting for permission to do what you want.
Stop holding back because you need more training, experience. . . . . . .fill in the blank.
Stop brushing off compliments.
Stop focusing on what others say is important.
Stop adding to the to-do list that’s never getting done.
And please, STOP waiting for someday.
Start celebrating each and every win.
Start fanning the flames of your desire.
Start loving. . .truly, madly, deeply.
Start owning your gorgeous, luscious self.
Start reaching out, stretching up and growing inwards.
Start breathing – big, deep, belly expanding breaths.
Start sharing your enthusiasm and watch it go viral.
Start saying what you want, often and with abandon!
For that’s what you were born to do.
You know it. I know it.
Hell, we all know it.
And wouldn’t it be great if we all cut the crap and burned like a roman candle?
The idea for this homage to self-care came out of a conversation with Cadi Jordan and Tara Cieko over lunch some time in early September. There we were enjoying lunch, conversation and a little pampering, when we found ourselves wondering how we could take better care of ourselves in general.
The three of us are extremely capable business women, but we noticed we didn’t always look after our own well-being the way we look after others. Business, clients, family. . .all frequently took precedence. Sad, but true and not unique to us as this comes up often for many of my clients.
Of course that got my little grey cells working!
That’s the question that got me thinking. As a solution-focused coach I’m all about finding ways to move forward rather than focusing on the ‘right’ or perfect solution, and in my experience that often takes getting creative and getting support.
Years ago I did a year-long personal development program with a core belief that anything you want is available through community. And so I began by reaching out to my network of coaches and consultants with a passion for human potential.
And what an extraordinary group of people I’m blessed to know. I was reminded of the saying, “if you can make a dream happen on your own, your dream’s not big enough.”
Improving or honouring your self-care may not seem like a big dream to some, but when you’re struggling in this area of life, feeling more energized and taken care of is HUGE.
But where to start?
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed and drained in your day-to-day life isn’t it?
Inundated by email, voicemail and texts for starters, there’s an unspoken assumption that you should be available 24/7. And that’s before taking into account your kids, spouse or partner!
24/7 . . .
Do you really want to be that available?
I felt my energy drain just writing that!
The truth is everything in life is either giving you energy or draining it. The best way to combat the energy drain is to be at your most resourceful by building up and replenishing your energy throughout the day.
This is an opportunity to get creative and proactive about your self-care – a very good thing to take on during this month-long Homage to Self-Care
With a little attention, you can integrate these breaks into your life and with practice, develop new habits that top up your energy leaving you feeling better than ever.
You are a system that consists of mind, body and soul.
In this trinity, you probably have a preference, an area that comes effortlessly and alongside that, an area of challenge.
For me, the focus on the mind is taken care of with almost no thought as I read constantly, love learning and sharing what I’ve learned with others.
My spirit is cared for, although a bit less reliably, but I do make time to meditate, unplug and attend silent retreats as often as I can.
The system is challenged most in the physical, my body, and over time, this has taken a toll.
As I shared in the introduction to this month-long Homage, what works for me is to take things on in community with an aspect of accountability.
Well then, what better place to be held accountable than right here on my blog?!
Because here’s the thing…
This comes up a lot in my coaching work with clients.
Mostly because we don’t generally pay enough attention to what’s going on in our bodies and there’s a cost to that. A cost to our well-being and energy, but also to our emotional resourcefulness.
But instead of listening to our bodies, we ignore, rationalize and suppress most of the messages our bodies are giving us every day.
What do you think might show up if you really started paying attention, listening to those messages?
What positive impact would it have to check in with yourself throughout the day asking,
“What message is my body giving me right now?”
For example:
Your body is constantly talking to you; are you listening?
Once long ago, I had a dream to do something creative with my life. As a child, I coloured, drew pictures, wrote stories and just knew that somehow that would continue to be part of my life.
At 18 I applied to art school. I wanted nothing more than to paint, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy.
That was my first real memory of the butterflies; seized by anxiety and fear, I chose to trust and follow those elusive fluttery creatures.
But I didn’t fit the stereotype of a brooding, starving artist. I was smart, happy, in a relationship and looking forward to my future, which in the end did not go the way I’d planned.
The relationship ended and the art dream died, along with my positive outlook on life.
Bitter, cynical and more than a little jaded, I gave up my youthful dreams and joined the rat race. The stories I’d been telling myself were more real than any reality and I was stuck.
Fast forward six years; I’m sitting in a course trying to create a new future. The trying only created a headache, not a vision that inspired me in any way. The more I tried to come up with the right words, the right future, the less inspired I felt.
I sat in my chair resigned that I would ever have what I wanted in life. So I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath. Then another. I felt the pressure ease, my mind relax. I heard the voices of my group around me, but I just kept breathing.
In and out. . .and suddenly, I heard myself say, “I want to travel, meet people and take photographs.”
I looked up and people around me were smiling. At that moment I wasn’t quite sure why. It seemed insane, a pipe dream with no way of becoming reality.
But my group encouraged me to keep those words alive, even if I had no idea how to make it happen.
So I let myself dream.