spirit

Hollyhocks and Time Travel

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 18 Conversations

Memories. . .

They come out of nowhere and take you by surprise don’t they?

One did just that as I came across a wild garden at the side of a building. So many pretty flowers I thought.

hollyhocks against a wall

These ones caught my eye; made my breath catch in my throat. They reminded me of my grandmother you see. My Nonna, the woman I was named after.

Santina. A name I wanted so badly to anglicize as a child. Now as an adult I keep it close to my heart and pull it out for special occasions.

Memories of…

  • the way she rocked me to sleep
  • the smell of bread baking in her kitchen
  • how she told me she loved me the day I moved away
  • how my heart broke when she no longer remembered me

Memories.

They sneak up and catch you off guard.

These ones – Hollyhocks – took me back to my childhood. I never knew what they were called, just that they grew at the side of Nonna’s house.

Today they wound their way around my heart.

 

 

Say Something New

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 19 Conversations

“The words you speak become the house you live in.” – Hafiz

mime putting on make-up in mirror

I recently had the pleasure of exploring what Monique MacDonald calls your Sacred Gifts. Her work had been recommended to me by many people and that always gets my attention. Then my friend and colleague Coral Heron took the training and the opportunity arose.

After 15+ years of personal development work of all kinds I know myself pretty well. My strengths and weaknesses are familiar friends and I do my best to focus on the former. But as Coral lead me through the process another layer of the onion fell away.

Your gifts are not necessarily your skills or talents, or what you’re good at. Instead, think of them as qualities you were born with that allow you to do ordinary things in extraordinary ways. Chances are, that like me, you’ve probably taken them for granted.

“Gifts are planted in your being-ness, and must reach out beyond your stories and your human-ness.” – Monique MacDonald

I was intrigued to by the idea that your gifts are always for the benefit of others. As Coral and I discussed each of my gifts this became evident. They’ve shown up in the work I do, the way I live my life, even my interests.

My gifts include: Wisdom, Encouragement, Knowledge, Leadership, Writing, Extraordinary Trust and Teaching.

While many of them were not a surprise, a couple of them triggered some resistance. Some part of me didn’t really want to own them, especially if they were for the benefit of others. I’m pretty sure that’s where my next level of growth lies.

The surprise was realizing that this new awareness of my gifts felt like pieces of a puzzle – the puzzle that is me – falling into place.

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Leaning Out

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

Juliet's balcony

I used to live in a loft in a hip part of town. Too hip for me I sometimes thought.

The loft had a European style balcony; not really a balcony at all but rather a railing just beyond the door with maybe a foot of standing room.

The year I lived there was one of the most challenging of my life.

My business which had started off strong was struggling; my confidence diminishing daily. And the root of it all was a story.

A story that, over time, became a touchstone worn smooth in my pocket. Sometimes I would finger it lovingly, speaking it aloud like a mantra. Other times I’d bring it out into the light, examining it from every angle.

Once in awhile, the story would keep me from sleep, and I would write. Pages and pages of story. With each telling it became more detailed, more real, more damaging to both my mind and my heart.

One part of me knew the story was a lie. But I hung onto it like a drowning man to a life preserver.

Why would I do that?

The story had ceased to be a story.

The story had become the truth.

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Playing the Game of Love

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

What’s this talk of a game?

Call me crazy, but I think love is a game.

And like all games, how you play makes all the difference.

Before we get into the “rules”, let me share a bit of my story and what changed my thoughts on love.

You see, my heart was broken once, long ago.

So very broken.

It felt irreparable and I believed that life would never be the same.

And it wouldn’t be the same. Ever.

How could it be?

No matter how hard you try to repair something, it can never be what it once was.

That’s not to say it can’t be better, but I never thought of it that way all those years ago.

I simply felt damaged. Broken beyond repair.

Jasmine Lamb says, “Most of us long for love, look out for love, worry we are too late for love, but not enough of us live love.”

Jasmine is so very right.

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The Warrior Emerges

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 16 Conversations

 

“Every warrior of light has, at least once, believed that he was not a warrior of light.” – Paulo Coelho

You are a warrior of light.

You probably didn’t ask for it. You might even try to ignore and avoid it at all costs.

And still, the light keeps shining, mesmerizing you with its brilliance.

Sometimes, you stumble towards it, unable to help yourself.

You catch yourself and step back from what your whole being longs for.

Who are you to step into the light so boldly?

You are a warrior of light.

Maybe you struggle to understand, questioning this path, looking desperately for an easier way.

Like other light bearers, you suffer, beset by the endless swirl of doubts in your mind.

Who are you to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Who are you really, to think you could shine so brightly?

Maybe you withhold yourself, misguidedly thinking this will keep you safe, unaware that this is an important phase of the journey.

You are a warrior of light.

Dreaming of what’s possible, you make mistakes and learn.

You risk, and survive.

Listen.

Your heart is beating. It has a gift to offer the world.

Not some day.

NOW.

This piece was inspired by Paulo Coelho’s The Manual of the Warrior of Light and is the beginning of a series. The warrior is a metaphor for those in pursuit of their dreams.

 

Starbursts, Sirens and Siriously Shining

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 63 Conversations

 

Fear doesn’t stop you. YOU stop you.

 

I’ve wanted to write this post since my father-in-law’s sudden death, but the wanting was tinged with fear.

Fear that you would be put off, not get my point or worse, ignore me all together.

I’ve been headed in this direction for some time, but I’ve allowed fear to slow my steps.

Then death jolted me out of my comfort zone.

“You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.” – Joan Baez

So it’s time to call bullshit…

You live like there’s someday.

You live like you have all the time in the world to pursue your dreams and follow your passions.

Plenty of time to shine… later.

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The Hero’s Journey

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 14 Conversations

 

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.” – Joseph Campbell

Malcolm gave life his all. In that sense, he was a hero.

He pursued his passions with an uncommon intensity and commitment to excellence that was inspiring.

Last night the hero’s journey was completed.

Malcolm Faviell sailing Cardinal

Rest in peace Malcolm Faviell.

You will be sorely missed.

 

That’s How the Light Gets In

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 12 Conversations

 

“And I listen and I think. Time doesn’t seem to pass here; it just is.” – Bilbo Baggins

Rivendell retreat centre sign, Bowen Island, BC

Silence called to me from a special place. A place, that like its name, conjures up images of forest and faeries.

Like Bilbo, it is at Rivendell I find myself most able to think, to hear the thoughts and ideas bubbling up as though from a wellspring deep inside.

The sacred space, the silence, allow me to turn off the busyness of my life. My heart expands and I breathe deeply.

New thoughts emerge effortlessly as old thoughts play themselves out. It is easy to be at Rivendell; it offers itself up, a gift to unwrap slowly. An opportunity to treasure each moment, each thought that arises.

  • What is it that I am truly offering?
  • What is authentically, gloriously mine?

These are the questions I hear as I walk the labyrinth.

centre of the Rivendell labyrinth, Bowen Island, BC

I remember a line from a Leonard Cohen song,

“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”

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Love Letter from A First Born

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 16 Conversations

 

Today is my mom’s birthday and sharing her with you is a gift. In knowing her – Pierina – you’ll know more about me.

I am her, and yet? I’m not. I’m me infused by her love and caring.

She’ll cry when she reads this; I’ve cried writing it. Perhaps you’ll cry too.

It’s all good because it had to be said, from me to my mom, who I call Mamalu, a letter of love on her birthday.

photo of my parents, Pierina & Manuel Amorim

Let’s start with this photo, because really, who could resist that mischievous smile? I love that moment of joy and connection that shines through her eyes.

Can you see it?

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When Spirit Calls Do You Answer?

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

spirit dancer sculpture, Santa Fe

“What is your spirit calling for?”

My spirit has been calling for silence.

Two weeks from now I’ll be at a silent retreat; four days of silence, rest and nourishment at all levels.

The silence has been calling for months, but I have not been listening.

I’ve ignored it, been busy, rescheduled it twice and dismissed the need.

I have been unwilling to honour the call.

Until now.

“Silence is sometimes the best answer.” – Dalai Lama

I have surrendered, given myself over, and booked off four full days (96 hours) of blissful, sometimes confronting silence.

The Spirit Dancer? Is satisfied.

And you?

  • What has your spirit been calling for?
  • How will you honour that call?