Paying Homage to Self-Care

 

Homage: respect or reverence paid

Self-care: care for oneself

For a few months I’ve been shifting my focus to self-care due to some physical challenges. Nothing life threatening, but challenging none the less.

In my enthusiasm and passion for the work I love (coaching & writing), I’d been spending increasingly more time at my desk, focusing on my mind and forgetting the body and spirit part of the system.

Here’s what my body reminded me of. . .

It’s not about what you know, it’s about how you live and the choices you make each day.

Ouch. They say we teach what we most need to learn, and I’m getting the message loud and clear!

female sculpture in front of grass

 

Brene Brown says that calm is the ability to manage your emotional reactivity.

Calm is a superpower.

Truth is, it’s pretty tough to manage your reactivity when you don’t feel resourceful or when you’re body’s in crisis.

 

The shift to focusing on myself, specifically my body has not been easy and it doesn’t come naturally to me.

My tendency is usually to focus on and be there for others, and I know I’m not alone in this.

Friends, family, clients – I hear it often – everyone is challenged by the daunting task of taking care of ourselves.

Why is that?

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Plugged into Silence

 

The plan was to take a few days off, meander through rural Washington and spend some time with my husband Mark.

Masters of the road trip, we often leave town for 3-4 days with his camera and my laptop in hand.

Time together pursuing our passions. His passion for the seaside towns of the Pacific Northwest often get him out of bed early, while I settle in with a cup of coffee and my laptop. Usually, I organize or find Internet access so that I can check in. Not quite unplugged, but the volume turned down considerably.

This time however, I unplugged completely.

We wandered, relaxed, took photos, read books and enjoyed each other’s company.

Silence crept in, at first like an uninvited guest.

two buddha heads side by side

But I soon found myself appreciating it, my mind no longer wondering what was happening elsewhere. I know from past experiences with silent retreats that I am nourished by silence, but in the busyness of life I forget.

Be here now.

Easier said than done sometimes.

Most times.

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The Practice of NO

 

Ever notice how Italians say “No” with attitude?

It’s a big, decisive, full-bodied NO.

Curl your tongue to form a strong N.

Follow with a short punchy O.

Learning to say no with this kind of surety is the best way to say good-bye to overwhelm and resentment.

Because here’s the thing you’ve been avoiding. . .

How did you get to this point?

It’s not tough to figure out. I’ll bet you said yes quickly and without much thought. Yeah, I know. I’ve done it too.

You’re probably inundated every day. Requests, favours, tasks and a never-ending to-do list. It’s so damn easy to get caught up in saying yes.

(Which frequently sounds like, “sure, no problem, yup, any time” said with a weary smile on your face.)

I used to be a yes gal – an automatic “let me help you with your project/job search/relationship/fill-in-the-blank” frickin’ YES!

I admit it.

I love helping others, I’m easily inspired, and YES felt pretty damn good!

Until it didn’t.

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Start Stopping Now

 

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is STOP.

I know this may be a challenge for some of you who are still obsessing about your new year’s resolutions. That’s the first thing you can stop.

Then consider your life if you were to stop these four…

  • Stop over-promising.
  • Stop beating yourself up.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others.
  • Stop doing those things that feel like obligations.

Just stop.

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