resistance

What the Heck Is the Point?

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 43 Conversations

 

Why do you do what you do?

Love.

Money.

Purpose?

What compels you to take action when you’re paralyzed with fear?

When the lizard rears up in its loud, persistent glory?

It’s said that if you have a big enough why, anything is possible.

People like Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Theresa, and Gandhi (the usual suspects) all started with “why.”

It was their why that enabled them to do what they did, inspiring others and achieving remarkable things.

It might sound blasphemous, but I don’t think of them as extraordinary human beings.

They were just like you and me. Ordinary people with one major difference.

They had a very BIG why.

What’s yours?

And is it big enough?

[pullquote]“That which is within you and expressed will set you free, but that which is within you and not expressed will eat you from inside.” – Book of Thomas[/pullquote]

Your why is yearning to be expressed.

Why do you do what you do?

Without a clear answer to this question. . .

What the heck is the point?

 

 

How to Defeat Your Paper Tigers

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 2 Conversations

 

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.” – Amelia Earhart

Tiger behind bars

The decision to act IS usually the most difficult part of the coaching process. Paper tigers stop us regularly, even when it’s clear they’re made of paper.

Look at the photo. Due to the depth of field, or where the photographer focused, the bars don’t look solid or real. Our beliefs can be like that in reverse. It’s all in our focus or perspective.

The thing that totally jazzes me as a coach is that we really can do most anything we decide to do. The limits are more often in our minds than in reality.

A few examples:

  • After years of struggling, a client became crystal clear on what she wanted. Within a year, she bought a condo, changed careers, adopted a baby and began a new relationship.
  • A few months into coaching, another client announced she wanted to move to Europe for a year. That was three years ago! She successfully moved, working virtually for her organization in North America. She too, bought a home and had a baby in that time.
  • One year after knee surgery, I ran a half marathon, something I’d never imagined possible. Growing up I was the smart one, not the athletic one. The power of my decision to run the race was so empowering, it blew my paper tiger away in a puff of air!

In each example, two things played a major role:

1.  Clarity

  • What do you really want and why?
  • How do you want to feel throughout the process?

2.  Commitment

  • What do you need to put into place to get started?
  • What structures can help you stay focused?

Like the quote says, “the process is its own reward.”

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Because Deathbed Regrets Suck

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 16 Conversations

 

Dear One,

I couldn’t sleep last night.

Someone I know died last week, a friend of the family. I didn’t know her all that well, but every time I saw her, every interaction I had with her left me feeling appreciated and acknowledged.

She was so very present, her face lighting up when she saw you. She smiled big, from deep within and seemed to squeeze the joy out of life.

I don’t even know what she accomplished in life. It’s how she lived and how she left people feeling that was extraordinary.

I thought of her last night, her death yet another wake up call.

It got me thinking about life, and how you stop yourself from really living.

I know you know what I’m talking about.

Surviving is not the same as living.

It’s actually quite easy to survive, to live with all the things you’re tolerating and all the ways you’ve suppressed yourself.

But your dreams and desires for this life?

Where do they exist amidst the toleration and survival?

Maybe you talk about them a lot, but because you rarely take action you sound like the boy who cried wolf.

Maybe you write about them…at night, in your journal, when no one’s looking.

You keep them safe and locked away.

And love. Sweet, sweet soul-nourishing love.

What about it? Do you share your love, expressing it freely?

Or do you save it for the ‘appropriate’ time.

What are you waiting for?

Continue reading →

3 Steps to Your One Percent

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 14 Conversations


So it happened again.

I admit it, Seth Godin (who you may remember inspired the start of this blog) did it again by writing about what might happen on the day everyone is pleased with their work.

It’s basically a “now what” scenario.

You spend so much time working towards that day only to feel…

  • let down
  • critical of the result
  • and disappointed in yourself

His post also relates to what I think of as magical, someday thinking.

I know, I know. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it because you’re still living like there is a someday.

But there isn’t. . .

And yet, every single day someone dreams of someday.

Each day those thoughts move you closer and closer to a state of complacency and toleration. Months, even years go by and the dream becomes vague, a wishful memory.

For the love of whatever you believe in, it is time to get over this.

Which brings me to the 1% solution.

Continue reading →

Explanations Be Damned

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

 

“A warrior of light knows what he wants. And he has no need to waste time on explanations.” – Paulo Coelho

How much time do you spend explaining yourself to others?

20 minutes? An hour? More?

Imagine for a moment, striding out into the world and offering your gift boldly, without hesitation, without concern.

Imagine drawing a line in the sand, a demarcation that announced for all to hear,

“This is my work damn it, and I’m going to shine like nothing you’ve ever seen before!”

Right now, go on, say it.

Let. It. Out.

From deep within your belly. Let the world know what you’re up to. It’s waiting for you to take that step.

And once you do, life transforms.

It’s time.

  • To get out of your own way.
  • To stop withholding your gifts.
  • To stop suppressing your joy and passion.
  • To stop playing small when you were meant to shine like that brilliant star Sirius!

“Your work is to discover your work, and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~ Buddha

You know what you want.

It’s time to get real about it, because this is all you’ve got. . .

Reasons or results.

Fuck the explanations and choose.

 

Inspired by Paulo Coelho’s The Manual of the Warrior of Light, the warrior is a metaphor for those in pursuit of their dreams.

 

 

Starbursts, Sirens and Siriously Shining

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 63 Conversations

 

Fear doesn’t stop you. YOU stop you.

 

I’ve wanted to write this post since my father-in-law’s sudden death, but the wanting was tinged with fear.

Fear that you would be put off, not get my point or worse, ignore me all together.

I’ve been headed in this direction for some time, but I’ve allowed fear to slow my steps.

Then death jolted me out of my comfort zone.

“You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.” – Joan Baez

So it’s time to call bullshit…

You live like there’s someday.

You live like you have all the time in the world to pursue your dreams and follow your passions.

Plenty of time to shine… later.

Continue reading →

What You and Harry Potter Have in Common

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 5 Conversations

 

“Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him.”

Dumbledore says this in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Right before he died.

Last breath.

Words of wisdom.

Well, this isn’t Hogwarts and I’m not Dumbledore, but listen up…

You are the best hope you have. Trust you.

Let’s be honest; like Harry, you’ve probably had issues trusting yourself in the past.

I’ve been thinking about this so damn much that it turned into a blog post and week-long experiment.

Remember the definition of trust?

trust: ability to rely on another person’s integrity, strength, sureness etc. i.e. You can trust someone to do the right thing.

At the beginning of the week I felt like I had no connection to this definition.

But I love experiments, and suddenly? Space for something new to show up.

The word itself – experiment – magically makes room in my grey cells that few other words provide. As soon as I begin to think in terms of an experiment, I become intrigued, curious and fully engaged.

The past week was a perfect example of this.

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How 2 Small Words Will Snap You Out of a Funk

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

Two small words that have the power to create reality.

It can be a reality that feels good, full of possibility. Or the opposite, a full on funk that has you on the couch with the remote in one hand and a bag of chips in the other.

But wait!

What if you could…

  • write that book
  • skydive
  • learn a new language
  • start a business
  • have the body, career, mate, life you’ve been dreaming of?

I’m guessing those goals, or similar ones, can easily trigger your lizard brain and I can already hear the “yeah buts” that want to keep you in the funk!

What if you…

  • aren’t creative enough
  • are too afraid
  • aren’t good with languages
  • don’t have the funding…or the courage
  • aren’t willing to do what it takes?

Familiar? I know, and not in a good way.

Continue reading →

Everything is practice

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 17 Conversations

 

Sometimes I am blinded by the light.

My light.

Sometimes I go to a dark and scary neighbourhood.

In my head.

It’s bleak in there.

I do my best not to visit very often, but sometimes?

The pull is magnetic.

It’s a slippery slope once I’m there, but over the years I’ve discovered a few ways to pull myself out of the dark and off the slope.

 

How to Resist the Pull

1.  Unplug

I step away. From my laptop and phones. I turn off all the ringers, bells and whistles. Simple? Yes. Easy to do? Not so much.

But here’s the thing – it works every time.

“Every step you take is a step away from where you used to be.” – Brian Chargualaf

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We Are All Meant to Shine

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 29 Conversations

 

Ever notice how quickly you can shift from feeling inspired to feeling attached?

A sudden, intense drive to make things happen a particular way takes over and inspiration is nowhere to be found; gone like the breath you took 10 seconds ago.

You fixate on a goal and suffer when it’s taking longer than you wanted or expected.

Pretty funny if you can get back to the realization that you made it all up to begin with!

Maybe you. . .

  • Obsess about your progress until you give yourself a headache
  • Try forcing the outcome thereby pissing off everyone involved
  • Refuse to quit, even though everything in you is saying “let it go”
  • Exhibit a dog-with-a-bone-like determination. Grrrrr, get out of my way!

So what’s a results oriented, bottom-line human doing supposed to do when it’s not about the doing? Continue reading →