What Would You Do with One Day?

Everything you go through in life, whether from mind, body or spirit has information for you. Information along with an invitation to go deeper, to go within.

What do you do with the information?

Do you receive it or resist?

Do you make changes based on the information or pretend you never got the message?

Both are very human responses.

But whether you resist or refuse to get the message, the information persists lingering in your body.

The bad news is, that information has to come out sometime, somewhere. Wouldn’t it be better to have a say in that?

When you feel stressed, upset or fearful your sympathetic nervous system kicks in, sending adrenaline racing through your body, while your heart begins to race and your breathing becomes shallow.

The best thing to do in that moment is to focus on your breath, slowing everything down to a deep and rhythmic pace.

The second best thing to do is get curious about the information you’re receiving.

During a recent coaching conversation a client shared that she was feeling lost in her life, unsure about where she was heading. We started to explore it together.

I asked her:

What has you feel lost?
How do you know you’re lost?
What do you feel in your body when you experience feeling lost?

Exploring the feeling released the pressure she felt. She was suddenly able to breathe, the tightness in her chest dissipated, leaving in its place a sense of calm.

“Intelligence is not the ability to store information, but to know where to find it.” – Albert Einstein

You have to go within.

Use these simple steps, and be patient with yourself as you begin. Remember, this IS a practice.

With pen and journal in hand, take a deep breath and begin. . .

1. Say what’s there.

Just as my client did, get out of your head and into your body. Acknowledge the feeling that’s there.

2. Get curious.

Ask the questions above and write down your thoughts.

3. Go within.

Feel your way through the experience. Feel what’s going on in your body. Ask yourself, “What’s the message here?”

Then listen.

And remember,

“Calm is a superpower.” – Brene Brown

The Art (and Science) of Solution Focused Living

Posted on September 25, 2012May 25, 2014 by Sandi Amorim 24 Conversations

Problems. We’ve all got them.

In all areas of life – business, relationships, finances, health, and so on.

No one is immune.

It’s common to focus on problems, which can lead you down a negative spiral faster than an army of ants at a picnic; the kind of ANTs that suddenly seem to hi-jack your brain.

But is it really useful to focus on the problems? We’re human beings not machines, which leaves me questioning this obsession with problems and fixing ourselves.

“I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.” – Louise L. Hay

Question: What Is Problem-Solving?

Answer: Problem-solving is a mental process that involves discovering, analyzing and solving problems. The ultimate goal of problem-solving is to overcome obstacles and find a solution that best resolves the issue.

Yes, problem solving is a mental process. . .that keeps you in your head analyzing!

Over and over, same problem, multiple angles, round and round until it feels like you’re deeper than ever, mired in the problem.

Yes, the intention is to get to the solution, but think about it. . .

How often has it really worked vs. how often has it kept you stuck?

“Anxiety and fear produce energy. Where we focus that energy noticeably affects the quality of our lives: focus on the solution, not the problem.” – Walter Anderson

It’s much more uncommon (and useful) to view life through a solution focused lens.

Sometimes I startle clients when I tell them I don’t care about the problem. And it’s true, I don’t. . .I care about what they want, and as soon as I can get them back to thinking about that, the sooner they feel resourceful.

You might think it’s semantics, but it’s not. It’s an energetic shift. It just feels better to focus on what you want from a solution focused view of life.

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Come to the Dark Side: permission to own where you suck

Posted on July 30, 2012May 25, 2014 by Sandi Amorim 50 Conversations

The past month has challenged me in all areas, mind, body and spirit.

I could blame it on Mercury retrograde, or my post conference funk, but whatever the reason, July took me out. You could say I’d been hit by a cosmic 2’x4′.

Me and my shadow; welcome to the dark side.

Blocked and doubtful, Lizzie on full-blown loudspeaker about my work and what’s next, and then because that wasn’t enough, blindsided by an inflamed disc in my low back.

Really God? You thought that was a good idea?

And just like that, I fell down the slippery slope to the dark side.

The dark side ain’t pretty.

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Your Soul Song is Waiting

Posted on April 23, 2012October 23, 2012 by Sandi Amorim 31 Conversations

I’ll never forget the day I read the first email I received from Carol Hess, today’s spotlight. She’d just read the post I wrote after my father-in-law died and her message said, “I just read your Starbursts post. You scare the shit out of me. And that means I need to work with you.”

I sat at my desk moved to tears. Sharing the experience of my father-in-law’s sudden death was terrifying. Had I gone too far, my passion too intense? And then Carol’s email arrived.

It was confirmation that this message which had been there all along in my work was my core message, and it was suddenly so clear I could no longer ignore it. Carol would call this my Soul Story.

And that is her brilliance – calling forth your Soul Story.

The fascinating aspect of this story is that in reaching out and asking for what she needed, Carol made a difference for both of us.

Her work is empowering, but it’s not that she has power to give you. No. It’s more like she pulls back the veil so you can see your own power and claim it. Then she’s right there beside you, not just talking but walking the path.

When I think of Carol, words like authenticity, integrity and courage come to mind. And she’s funny! So damn funny, when we talk there is much laughter of the out loud and snorting kind!

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Fire in the Belly

Posted on April 16, 2012April 16, 2014 by Sandi Amorim 19 Conversations

I woke up early, awakened by a belly grumbling with hunger.

What do you hunger for?

I like feeling the hunger.

It reminds me there are many things in life I hunger for, perhaps some days, even long for.

I hunger for solitude.

Time alone, away from the demands of people and life. I hunger for the silence that becomes my companion in the solitude.

“I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” – Henry David Thoreau

I hunger for freedom.

To do what I want when I want. And even though I mostly live my life this way, some days I want freedom from all responsibility.

I hunger for intimacy.

I long to move beyond the superficial, the comfortable, the ‘normal’ and surrender to the intimate and connected.

“…available people are the ones who are dangerous, because they confront us with the possibility of real intimacy.” – Marianne Williamson

I hunger for the unknown.

I want to share myself beyond what I already know, where I’ve already been.

I hunger for openness.

Self-preservation and protection sometimes sneak in and make me forget.

“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.” – Chuck Palahniuk

I hunger for the deliciousness of life.

Life sometimes seems a buffet; a dilemma because I like choice but don’t always want to choose.

I hunger for fire in the belly.

For light and passion, for giving it my all, thoroughly used up when I die.

“Good men and good women have fire in the belly. We are fierce.” – Sam Keen

Over to you:

What do you hunger for?

What nourishment is missing that might make the difference?

Inspired by Rachel Cole.

Generate Excitement (because you can)

Posted on March 26, 2012April 16, 2014 by Sandi Amorim 12 Conversations

BURNING QUESTION:

What is your relationship to excitement?

Confession time. . .I’m easily excited.

You weren’t really surprised, were you?

Truth is, some days it hardly takes anything at all and I’m lit up like a roman candle!

I think of it as a way of being AND my relationship to the world.

Maybe that sounds Pollyanna-esque.

Maybe you think I’m wearing rose-coloured glasses, totally out of touch with reality.

But (and this is a very important but). . .

if it feels good and empowers you why would that be a problem?

I’ll tell you why; because our conditioning begins in childhood with phrases like:

Rein it in.
Settle down.
Don’t show off.

And you learn how to turn your excitement right down to a manageable level or even worse, suppress it completely.

That my friends, is a sad state of affairs.

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The Who of You

Posted on March 14, 2012April 16, 2014 by Sandi Amorim 48 Conversations

Who are you?

Who are you?

When someone asks this question, it’s easy to fall back on the obvious. . .

where you’re from
what you do for a living
if you’re married or single

You know, the usual suspects.

But you also know how utterly inadequate (and often boring) those answers are.

You do know that, right?

Some people say they’re the sum of all their experiences in the past. They have long, drawn out stories of why they are the way they are.

Others, thinking they’re clever, declare adamantly “No! I’m better than my past because I’ll never be like my mother/father/that/them!” but that just makes their future a reaction to the past.

Which leads us back to the beginning.

Who are you really?

And what if that answer was generative instead of related to the past?

gen·er·a·tive

:: capable of producing or creating

In the moment, you can create who you are.

That doesn’t mean you make it up or lie; just that you consciously choose who you say you are.

Your DNA gave you form.

Your words create your world.

They create the WHO of you.

I am. . .

first-born * Aries * prairie girl * ocean lover * Mediterranean * creator * listener * lover * ass-kicker * Fire Starter * wife * daughter * sister * BFF * smart * playful * passionate * writer * coach * instigator * blogger * book lover * pescatarian * extrovert * a collision waiting to happen * spark to your flame * leader * photographer * muse * gypsy spirit * cage rattler

I am all that. . .and more.

Because even that juicy list of descriptors doesn’t cover the gift that is me.

It does tell you a helluva lot more than the facts though:

Born in Winnipeg, live in Vancouver, professional life coach, married to a great guy.

Nothing wrong with those facts. They’re just a little dry.

Mostly, you haven’t got a clue who you are.

You fall back on old, familiar stories from the past. It’s easy, you don’t have to think about it, everyone does it. I get it.

But imagine playing with it a bit.

And the next time someone asks, “Who are you?” you smile so big before responding. . .

I’m a gift, who are you?

* Cue dazed, wide-eyed look of bemusement.

Sounds ridiculous, but trust me, it engages people in ways the facts will never do.

My personal favourite is “I’m a collision waiting to happen” and then I have a blast explaining what that means to me.

I unwrap the gift and share my passion, my zest for life, my joy.

Because really, joy trumps fact every time.

The Space in Between

Posted on January 9, 2012April 16, 2014 by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

Space.

Vast and immeasurable, but not out there.

A space unlike any other.

A space not yet clear.

Not like the space that shows up reliably every January; a space that compels you to think of what you want for your life.

And not like the space of completion; an invitation to look back, reviewing and learning from what’s been.

This is the space in between – the unexamined field.

As often happens when I begin to explore an idea that’s been niggling at me, it seems to show up everywhere.

First, in my research on lightning, I learned there’s a word for the space between the moment you see lightning and when you hear the thunder -svaha – a word of mysterious origin, some say Native American, I say intriguing.

Then the space of anticipation, waiting for the first prompt of the year-long adventure A Year with Myself, and a question from Patti Digh that took me by surprise:

What spaces are you standing between?

When was the last time you thought about the space in between?

I let the question sink in until the hair on the back of my neck stood up, the magic of the prompt working its way through my consciousness.

The space in between.

Think of the times you’ve been uncertain or the moments of discomfort as you stretched way beyond what you know.

In between.

Did you rush to step into a more familiar, tried and true space or or pull back paralyzed by fear?

What is so terrifying about the space in between?

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How to Grow Yourself Up in 5 (not-so-easy) Lessons

Posted on September 9, 2010March 14, 2014 by Sandi Amorim 44 Conversations

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – e.e. cummings

Almost 11 years ago I found myself sitting on a plane en route to Amsterdam, wondering “How did I get here?” It was a surreal moment, and it all began with a question (by now, surely you know that I’m all about asking questions!).

I was at a weekend workshop (an amazing program called Wisdom Unlimited), confronted by life and my inability to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up! I was doing an exercise, beating around the bush, not quite answering when the person I was working with blurted out in frustration, “Sandi, what the hell do you want? Just say it!”

In that moment I responded without thinking, “I want to be a photographer and travel, and get paid for that.”

I said it quickly, mumbling under my breath, but I said the words out loud for the very first time. A new dream, spoken into existence.

Fast forward six months, and there I was on the plane heading to the Netherlands to apprentice with a professional photographer in his studio.

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