Loving Kindness & You

 

Virginia Satir wrote the following poem after a session with a young client who had a lot of questions about herself and what life meant.

We all have those questions.

But it’s easy to forget and think we’re alone. During a challenging time in my life I read this poem often. It made a profound difference for me.

It spoke straight to my heart, and soothed me.

In a world that could use more love and kindness, I share it with an invitation to be kind – to others and most especially yourself.

 

I am me.

In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.

There are persons who have some parts like me,
but no one adds up exactly like me.

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Fire in the Belly

 

I woke up early, awakened by a belly grumbling with hunger.

What do you hunger for?

 

I like feeling the hunger.

It reminds me there are many things in life I hunger for, perhaps some days, even long for.

 

I hunger for solitude.

Time alone, away from the demands of people and life. I hunger for the silence that becomes my companion in the solitude.

“I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” – Henry David Thoreau

 

I hunger for freedom.

To do what I want when I want. And even though I mostly live my life this way, some days I want freedom from all responsibility.

 

I hunger for intimacy.

I long to move beyond the superficial, the comfortable, the ‘normal’ and surrender to the intimate and connected.

“…available people are the ones who are dangerous, because they confront us with the possibility of real intimacy.” – Marianne Williamson

 

I hunger for the unknown.

I want to share myself beyond what I already know, where I’ve already been.

 

I hunger for openness.

Self-preservation and protection sometimes sneak in and make me forget.

“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.” – Chuck Palahniuk

 

I hunger for the deliciousness of life.

Life sometimes seems a buffet; a dilemma because I like choice but don’t always want to choose.

 

I hunger for fire in the belly.

For light and passion, for giving it my all, thoroughly used up when I die.

“Good men and good women have fire in the belly. We are fierce.” – Sam Keen

 

Over to you:

What do you hunger for?

What nourishment is missing that might make the difference?

 

Inspired by Rachel Cole.

 

23 Things I Love About Being a Coach

number 23

 

In random order, 23 things I love about coaching:

23. The intake of breath I hear when you are about to go deeper than expected.

22. Emails that share your excitement about a new project!

21. The reciprocity of the coaching relationship. I get as much as I give. Every. Single. Time. 

20. Conversations about values.

19. An impromptu voicemail message with a joy-filled update! 

18. Fanning the flames of your greatness.

17. Holding the space for you to step into the unknown.

16. Waiting for you to call, thinking of who you are and what you’re up to in the world.

15. Text messages sharing a win that you couldn’t wait to share!

14. Silence. . .sometimes uncomfortable, more often sacred.

13. Being with “I don’t know” instead of being an expert.

12. Connecting with people all over the world.

11. Igniting your desire to go where you’ve never gone before.

10. Switching up my hats – from cheerleader to kick-ass, from accountable to woo woo – I love it all.

9.  Laughing with delight when you get that you KNOW what to do next!

8.  Meeting in person when possible and hugging the you I know so well over the phone.

7.  Asking a question that leaves you speechless.

6.  Sharing my own journey and knowing we’re on the same path.

5.  Eliminating an old belief that’s kept you stuck.

4.  Letting you know I believe in you.

3.  Crushing your someday thinking.

2.  Lulling your lizard brain to sleep. Shhh. . .

1.  Watching you share your gifts with the world.

 

For these 23 and so many more, being a coach is what I’m here for and YOU are why I do what I do.

Sandi Amorim signature

 

 

 

Generate Excitement (because you can)

 

BURNING QUESTION:

What is your relationship to excitement?


Confession time. . .I’m easily excited.laughing Buddha sculpture

You weren’t really surprised, were you?

Truth is, some days it hardly takes anything at all and I’m lit up like a roman candle! 

I think of it as a way of being AND my relationship to the world.

Maybe that sounds Pollyanna-esque.

Maybe you think I’m wearing rose-coloured glasses, totally out of touch with reality.

But (and this is a very important but). . .

if it feels good and empowers you why would that be a problem?

I’ll tell you why; because our conditioning begins in childhood with phrases like:

  • Rein it in.
  • Settle down.
  • Don’t show off.

And you learn how to turn your excitement right down to a manageable level or even worse, suppress it completely.

That my friends, is a sad state of affairs.

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The Humanity of Being

 

“There are four questions of value in life…Buddha looking down

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

What is worth dying for?

The answer to each is the same.

Only love.”

– Don Juan de Marco

I’m a doer.

I like action. And results.

I really like results and making things happen.

But it’s a fast and slippery slope to a driven kind of energy that stops feeling good before I’ve reached the bottom.

The drive, the doing, the “making things happen”…all get in the way. Continue reading

Boy Meets Girl

boy meets girl

Boy meets girl. I was 16.

Boy & girl grow up together.

Boy gives girl ring. Promises future.

Boy leaves girl. No longer a girl. I was 30.

The facts don’t tell the whole truth.

They rarely do.

For how could these simple facts tell the story of first love, promise and heartbreak without being a cliché?

I once read that however long a relationship lasts is how long it will take to get over it when it ends.

That was true for me.

While there was no happily-ever-after, this story lead me down the path of personal development, which lead to the work I love.

And that?

Has made all the difference.

 

“…Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

– Robert Frost

 

 

No One Does It Alone


Buddha in profile, monks walking away

No one does it alone.

It’s easy to forget that.

Maybe your past has turned into a story about why:

But everyone needs help sometimes. Especially those of us who think we can go it alone.

It’s tough to talk about; God knows I don’t like admitting it.

But here’s the truth I know today. . .

No one can or should do it alone, and even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.

We’ve all got stories, plenty of them, but those stories suck the joy out of life and lead to a dark and scary neighbourhood where your lizard brain thrives.

It’s easy to hang onto the stories and forget that you have amazing people in your life. Call me Pollyanna but I am certain that you do.

People who light you up with their joy, show you the way when you feel lost and love you no matter what.

This is a love note to them.

 

Dear One,

Who you are is a recent gift, for which I am grateful.

Who you are gives me comfort, and like Linus with his blanket I feel safe.

Who you are is a beacon, lighting my path when I think I’m at the end.

Who you are is love in human form; remembering your hug makes me smile.

Who you are for me reminds me of who I am for others.

Some days I have to dig deep to remember you are there, nestled safe and snug in my heart.

Some days I try to avoid who you are, for your light reflects mine. . .and I can hardly be with that.

And when you, yourself, forget who you are, come to me and I will tell you. Search my heart and you will find. . .you.

You remind me that I don’t have to go it alone.

And with my whole heart I thank you.

xoS

 

 

On Grace

 

Sometimes I hear a word and question its meaning.

stone angel, Vancouver, BC

What is grace?

 

Like grace.

Kindness, mercy, goodwill, favour. . .all words that speak of grace.

But what is it really?

Is it a way of being, an attitude, an experience?

The definition most appealing to me is from William Hazlitt,

“Grace has been defined as the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.”

This resonates, but still gives me no real access to grace.

Then I remembered a question I first read in Conversations with God,

What would love do now?

The answer to this question gives me direct access to grace.

It helps me let go, forgive. . .move on.

It displaces everything leaving only grace.

 

My Sunday offering – grace in the words of others: 

Anne Lamott  ::  “I do not understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” 

Some emotions and experiences move through us like weather. Others, like grace leaves its presence.

Brennan Manning  ::  “To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark.”

The light and the dark. Resisting the dark causes suffering, while accepting it opens the door to grace.

Mary Oliver  ::  “You can have the other words – chance, luck, coincidence, serendipity. I’ll take grace. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I’ll take it.”

Like Mary Oliver I’m not sure what it is, but I”ll take grace too. There’s a depth and a mystery to it that appeal to my soul.

Rumi  ::  “Give up to grace. The ocean takes care of each wave ’til it gets to shore. You need more help than you know.” 

Give up, surrender, let. it. in.

Anne Lamott again  ::  “Sometimes grace works like water wings when you feel you are sinking.” 

Water wings for the soul; a heart pleasing vision.

 

And my personal favourite,

Karl Barth  ::  “Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.”

 

I want to know what it means for you, and leave you with the gift of these words.

What would love do? 

 

Ode to Joy

I heard a Hawaiian phrase recently – malama pono – which means ‘take good care of yourself’ and I wondered, do you?

Do you take care of yourself the way you know you should or do you coast through life taking your health and well-being for granted?

heart shaped stone etched with word joy

I know I don’t always take the best care of myself, distracted by business, commitments to others and yes, I admit it – sometimes laziness.

What? A life coach admitting to laziness? Not too common I know, but hey I’m human and I’ve got my challenges just like you do!

It’s been four months since I first focused on self-care in the month-long homage. Four months during which time my focus has waxed and waned as reliably as the moon.

And it makes sense that I’m thinking of it again now as I’ve been in Maui the past two weeks and self-care has been effortless, creating a sense of well-being and joy I haven’t felt in a very long time.

This focus on self-care and joy was partly inspired by Andrea Olson’s recent post 100 Tiny Pulses along with Martha Beck’s Joy Diet, not new but an empowering menu of daily practices for a happier life. But more on that in a minute.

While here in Maui, this is what effortless has looked like.

Typical vacation day:

  • Up between 6-6:3oam
  • 15 minutes of meditation (sometimes watching the horizon for whales)
  • Breakfast of fresh fruit, yogurt, maca and nuts
  • An hour or two of writing
  • Day’s activity
  • Picnic lunch made with fresh local ingredients
  • Lots of walking and fresh air
  • Healthy dinner, usually grilled with fresh veggies
  • Asleep by 10:30pm

What’s important to note about this regime is this – it’s pretty simple, and more importantly it’s sustainable.

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Where Your Heart Is, There You Will Find Your Treasure

One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.

 

Whether he meant them to be or not, when my father-in-law threw these items into the box at the back of his closet they took on new meaning. Did he ever think that one day I would go through the box and wonder?

For I did wonder at these treasures.

Why had he kept them? What meaning did they hold? What did they tell me about this man I loved and admired?

And so I examined Malcolm’s treasures.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” – Paulo Coelho

They spoke to me of a life of curiousity and passion, a life of many and varied interests. They spoke to me of values.

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