new reality

Here’s Where the Story Ends

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 41 Conversations

 

Ahh, the stories you tell yourself. If I had a nickel for all the stories my clients have shared over the last 10 years I’d be rich.

Very. Very. Rich.

stack of old books and spectaclesStories you were told growing up.

Stories you made up about yourself.

Stories that held you back.

It’s enough to have Freud turn over in his grave.

Err, actually, he’d probably like all your stories because that would mean lots of time on the couch.

I was reminded of the power of stories by two things  recently:  a chat with the fabulous El Edwards of TruthPassionJoy and a song called The Story Ends by The Sundays.

The thing that most people forget about stories is this. . .

They’re all made up in the first place. 

You create you. Then you forget.

A relative comments on your height/weight/hair colour ==> You make this mean you’ll have to compensate and work harder than everyone else to get ahead.

An ex-boyfriend says you’re too intense ==> You decide you’re too much for people to handle and start suppressing yourself.

A kid on the playground calls you a nerd ==> You give up on all things athletic because clearly, you are NOT a jock.

Your 4th grade teacher says “stop trying so hard, you’ll never be an artist” ==> You stop doing what you love to do (except in your most secret dreams) and do what’s expected.

See how this works?

They said X ==> You made up Y

Continue reading →

What You and Harry Potter Have in Common

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 5 Conversations

 

“Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him.”

Dumbledore says this in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Right before he died.

Last breath.

Words of wisdom.

Well, this isn’t Hogwarts and I’m not Dumbledore, but listen up…

You are the best hope you have. Trust you.

Let’s be honest; like Harry, you’ve probably had issues trusting yourself in the past.

I’ve been thinking about this so damn much that it turned into a blog post and week-long experiment.

Remember the definition of trust?

trust: ability to rely on another person’s integrity, strength, sureness etc. i.e. You can trust someone to do the right thing.

At the beginning of the week I felt like I had no connection to this definition.

But I love experiments, and suddenly? Space for something new to show up.

The word itself – experiment – magically makes room in my grey cells that few other words provide. As soon as I begin to think in terms of an experiment, I become intrigued, curious and fully engaged.

The past week was a perfect example of this.

Continue reading →

Experiment in Trust

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 23 Conversations

 

Trust has been on my mind a lot lately.

You might think after so many years of personal development and almost a decade of coaching I’d be a very trusting person.

Not so much.

My lil’ lizard brain is suspicious and cynical, and you’d be amazed at the skepticism that rears its head almost every time I read or try something new. Why do you think it took me so long to start a blog and get on Twitter?

I’ve been lied to and cheated on in the game of love.

I’ve been burned by business agreements gone wrong, promises broken.

I’ve been hard done by, strung along and…

I know. This is starting to sound like a dramatic, movie-of-the-week. The result is this,

Not. So. Trusting.

You’ve got your own story of disillusionment and disappointment, so, we’re in this together.

Continue reading →

How 2 Small Words Will Snap You Out of a Funk

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

Two small words that have the power to create reality.

It can be a reality that feels good, full of possibility. Or the opposite, a full on funk that has you on the couch with the remote in one hand and a bag of chips in the other.

But wait!

What if you could…

  • write that book
  • skydive
  • learn a new language
  • start a business
  • have the body, career, mate, life you’ve been dreaming of?

I’m guessing those goals, or similar ones, can easily trigger your lizard brain and I can already hear the “yeah buts” that want to keep you in the funk!

What if you…

  • aren’t creative enough
  • are too afraid
  • aren’t good with languages
  • don’t have the funding…or the courage
  • aren’t willing to do what it takes?

Familiar? I know, and not in a good way.

Continue reading →

What Will You Do With Your One Precious Life?

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 21 Conversations

“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” – Mary Oliver

“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” – Mary Oliver

You’ve probably read that quote before; maybe it even inspired you…for a moment. Did it actually change anything in your life though? Did it spur you to action or have you commit fully to a dream?

I didn’t think so. Me neither.

And yet? I love that quote, which is actually the last line of this poem.

The Summer Day by Mary Oliver
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Maybe I’m quirky, but it’s the second last line that inspires me, “Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?”

The idea that my life is precious appeals to me, but it’s the reminder that everything dies “and too soon” that inspires me to action.

Consider that you don’t often do what it takes to honour that one wild and precious life. You don’t, and it’s time to tell the truth about that.

You talk about it. A lot.

You make promises and New Year’s resolutions, you join programs and support groups, spend money and waste time.

Now, until I’m on the other side and can share my perspective from the afterlife, I’m pretty sure this life? Is all you’ve got. Right here. Right now. This is it.

It’s not a practice life either.

This. Is. It.

But when you think of your life, doesn’t it seem infinite, like you have all the time in the world?

Except, you don’t.

Continue reading →

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

in·som·ni·a

noun: inability to obtain sufficient sleep, especially when chronic; difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness

Lately? There’s been A LOT on my mind. I recently launched a new project and it’s all good. It’s just – a lot you know? And it’s keeping me up at night. From the running to-do list to the many what if’s, the thoughts play like an endless tape causing the undesired state of sleeplessness.

The usual remedies? Not. Working.

From sheer excitement (and probably an overdose of adrenalin), I’ve already been running on much less sleep than normal. But what exactly is normal when it comes to sleep?

Opinions vary, but there’s some consensus that the optimal amount in humans runs 7 – 8+ hours for adults. I’ve been averaging more like 4-6.

Hmm, should I be exhausted? Continue reading →

How to Grow Yourself Up in 5 (not-so-easy) Lessons

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 44 Conversations

 

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – e.e. cummings

Almost 11 years ago I found myself sitting on a plane en route to Amsterdam, wondering “How did I get here?”  It was a surreal moment, and it all began with a question (by now, surely you know that I’m all about asking questions!).

I was at a weekend workshop (an amazing program called Wisdom Unlimited), confronted by life and my inability to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up! I was doing an exercise, beating around the bush, not quite answering when the person I was working with blurted out in frustration, “Sandi, what the hell do you want? Just say it!”

In that moment I responded without thinking, “I want to be a photographer and travel, and get paid for that.”

I said it quickly, mumbling under my breath, but I said the words out loud for the very first time. A new dream, spoken into existence.

Fast forward six months, and there I was on the plane heading to the Netherlands to apprentice with a professional photographer in his studio.

Continue reading →

We Are All Meant to Shine

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 29 Conversations

 

Ever notice how quickly you can shift from feeling inspired to feeling attached?

A sudden, intense drive to make things happen a particular way takes over and inspiration is nowhere to be found; gone like the breath you took 10 seconds ago.

You fixate on a goal and suffer when it’s taking longer than you wanted or expected.

Pretty funny if you can get back to the realization that you made it all up to begin with!

Maybe you. . .

  • Obsess about your progress until you give yourself a headache
  • Try forcing the outcome thereby pissing off everyone involved
  • Refuse to quit, even though everything in you is saying “let it go”
  • Exhibit a dog-with-a-bone-like determination. Grrrrr, get out of my way!

So what’s a results oriented, bottom-line human doing supposed to do when it’s not about the doing? Continue reading →

The ABC’s of Back-to-School

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

 

I have always loved back-to-school energy. I was a keener when I was young and loved everything about this time of year: new clothes, new teachers and yes, new school supplies!

The energy of starting fresh was a high, and I couldn’t wait to get back and get going.

I’m an adult now, and guess what? Not much has changed!

What if we had access to that kind of energy more consistently in life?

What if that energy could fuel our dreams?

Continue reading →