life coaching

On Owning Your Truth

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

 

The dream…

A Roman theatre filled to capacity. the Roman Colisseum at night

Me, waiting backstage for the cue to walk out and introduce the keynote speaker.

And then…

I become the keynote.

I look out, afraid – not of speaking, but of not getting the words right.

Afraid that my message will be unclear.

That is terrifying.

And then…

I wake up, heart racing, message choking me in its intensity.

Everyone has a truth, uniquely their own even if the message is not yet clear.

Your work is to first, own that truth and then discover how to share its message.

“A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life.” – Hermann Hesse

My truth – I am a waker, here to rattle your cage. Even though, quite often you pretend there is no cage.

It’s not always comfortable, but that matters less than owning your truth.

For in owning what has been with you, a part of you your whole life, you claim that which is yours alone.

Yes. You have your truth.

Maybe you resist it, or make it wrong preferring another truth.

Someone else’s truth is compelling. Yours might seem hard or impossible in comparison.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

I can relate, for my truth carries the weight of “Who the hell do I think I am?”

I am a waker. I own it, even though the message is still a work in progress.

You are born with your truth, and when you think back over your life you’ll find evidence for its existence.

Times when you were reprimanded for speaking it.

Times when you felt crushed by the weight of it.

Times when you knew without a doubt you were here to share it.

It’s why you’re here.

And since this is not a new message I am conscious of the truth and the irony.

You have a kernel of truth inside, longing to be expressed in a way that only you can deliver.

Right here, right now, share it.

The truth is yours, but the journey can be ours, together.

 

From Wonder Woman to Zen (12 truths about me)

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 25 Conversations

 

I sat down to write today’s post and what flowed from my fingertips surprised me. It’s not what I had in mind but it’s what came through.

Going with that flow, and trusting; writing a post simply for the joy of sharing.

12 Truths About Me

Name: Born Santina Amorim, now Sandi Faviell Amorim. When I got married I added my husband’s name in the middle. I wanted to acknowledge our marriage without giving anything up. This felt right to me.

“Inside us there is something that has no name, that something is what we are.” – Jose Saramago

Nickname: Sandi, which was the name my mom chose for me. When I was born the doctor told my mom it wasn’t a real name, that she should call me Sandra. WTF? My mom didn’t like Sandra and figured by calling me Santina she would make her mother happy and still call me Sandi for short. I’ve always thought it was odd that her doctor had the nerve to be so opinionated – and wrong.

Superhero alias: The most powerful female superhero with the the best accessories ever – the Lasso of Truth, indestructible bracelets and tiara. And yes, I start my day with a cup of coffee out of the mug below.

Wonder Woman coffee mug

“It’s unfair to judge yourself by the criterion of age. A vital, intelligent woman is much more than the sum of her birthdays.” – Wonder Woman

Age: 49, and I’ve decided this is a year of transformation. As good as life has been, the plan is to be unrecognizable (in a good way) by April 2013 when I turn 50.

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As It Is Spoken, So Shall It Be

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 30 Conversations

 

How many times have you heard the childlike incantation abracadabra?

A phrase used by magicians, it’s actually from Aramaic. “Avra K’davra” meaning “As it is spoken, so shall it be!”

Puts a new spin on it, for in those words is a very important message. . .

Your speaking creates your reality. 

store window, Portland, Oregon

I don’t mean that in some new agey way, or wistful longing for a someday dream.

I mean, your speaking creates your reality – how you feel, how people respond, your energy, etc.

Every time you open your mouth you’re creating.

“We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.” – J. K. Rowling

Speaking is generative, and every word that comes out of your mouth creates.

I’m tired. I’m busy. I can’t. 

What world did you just create?

I’ll do it. Let’s meet. I’ll figure it out!

How about now?

What if you really got the power of “As it is spoken, so shall it be?”

Now what would you say?

 

Over to You:

What do you have the courage to create in your speaking today?

 

 

Give Your Someday a Date

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 12 Conversations

When was the last time you said yes to something on your life list?

Distinction: A bucket list is considered to be a list made up of things to do before you die, i.e: ‘kick the bucket.’ A life list is made up of things to do while you’re ALIVE. And things that make my heart beat faster should be kept somewhere special. . .not a bucket.

Back to the question…when?

It’s been awhile for me too.

“This is me. And I’m imperfect and I’m vulnerable and I’m afraid sometimes…” – Brené Brown

And then yesterday, I said yes.

YES.

To something that simultaneously terrifies and excites me.

I’m going to learn how to scuba dive.

On October 17 I’ll be joining my friend and colleague Jason Sugar of Breakthrough Adventures and two others in the water.

Jason Sugar of Breakthrough Adventures teaching scuba diving.

That’s Jason on the right teaching and sharing his passion!

Here’s why it’s a big deal…

When I was 8 years old I almost drowned, and while I don’t remember many of the details, I do remember the panic and fear of not being able to breathe.

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How To Stay On Task

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 24 Conversations

 

Imagine this scene: You want to get fit and you have joined your local gym with a view to setting up a fitness regime toot suite.

You have all the best intentions and just know that this time you really will follow through with the promises you have made to yourself!

Just to make especially sure though, you have even entered all your intended gym visits for the following month into your planner so as to remove your usual excuse of not having time.

And there’s no messing around because the first time you have scheduled is tomorrow immediately after work.

The only problem is you have no way of knowing how you will feel tomorrow after a long days work. You may feel great and pumped at the thought of pumping iron. Or indeed you may not. Fatica quasi Gioia: photo credit - Marco Crupi

Then tomorrow comes and it’s an insanely hectic day with work. You have no time to even take lunch and your expected leaving time of 4:00pm becomes 5:30pm.

Not that that is a problem or reason to not go because you know your partner will happily start dinner in your absence. You have nothing to rush home for that can’t wait until you have had some much deserved ‘you time’.

What do you do?

If you’re like most people, here is the answer to that question.

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The Art (and Science) of Solution Focused Living

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 24 Conversations

 

Problems. We’ve all got them.

In all areas of life – business, relationships, finances, health, and so on.

No one is immune.

It’s common to focus on problems, which can lead you down a negative spiral faster than an army of ants at a picnic; the kind of ANTs that suddenly seem to hi-jack your brain.

But is it really useful to focus on the problems? We’re human beings not machines, which leaves me questioning this obsession with problems and fixing ourselves.

“I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.” – Louise L. Hay

Question: What Is Problem-Solving?

Answer: Problem-solving is a mental process that involves discovering, analyzing and solving problems. The ultimate goal of problem-solving is to overcome obstacles and find a solution that best resolves the issue.

Yes, problem solving is a mental process. . .that keeps you in your head analyzing!

Over and over, same problem, multiple angles, round and round until it feels like you’re deeper than ever, mired in the problem.

Yes, the intention is to get to the solution, but think about it. . .

How often has it really worked vs. how often has it kept you stuck?

“Anxiety and fear produce energy. Where we focus that energy noticeably affects the quality of our lives: focus on the solution, not the problem.” – Walter Anderson

It’s much more uncommon (and useful) to view life through a solution focused lens.

Sometimes I startle clients when I tell them I don’t care about the problem. And it’s true, I don’t. . .I care about what they want, and as soon as I can get them back to thinking about that, the sooner they feel resourceful.

You might think it’s semantics, but it’s not. It’s an energetic shift. It just feels better to focus on what you want from a solution focused view of life.

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Where Are You From, Really?

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 2 Conversations

 

Brian Tracy said, “It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.”

Yes, and when you acknowledge where you’re from with love and respect, the impact on where you’re going is profound.

 

Where am I from?

I am from a home where love and laughter reigned, a place of simple joys and comfort. giant heart stone found at Davis Bay, near Sechelt, BC

A home that prepared me for a life of connection, contribution and love; living each day fully, someday nowhere to be found.

I am from a woman, compassionate and loving, who chose a man strong and proud.

From my grandmother’s knee, oven-baked bread and rosy cheeks in the crisp wintry air.

A land, where immigrants gathered to start anew, courage and spirit to brave the elements.

A land that prepared me for western shores; where mountains and ocean collide.

 

Where am I from?

From the school of possibility; the spirit’s edge, my church the mountains and the waves below.

A place of coeur-age where risk and exploration connect.

childhood books on the shelf, photo by Sandi Amorim

Birthed in the stories of Jo March, Elizabeth Bennett, and a red-haired girl named Anne.

Where girls have heart, and spirit in abundance.

 

It’s easy to tell the stories that keep you small.

But right here as you read this, what’s the story that warms your heart?

That’s the one you should be telling.

 

From Someday to One Day (how shifting your focus brings a dream alive)

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 25 Conversations

 

Someday you will die.

And that’s really the only someday thought you can count on.

The rest of your someday thoughts are like the numbered balls in an old school bingo basket. . .bouncing around, one idea on top of the other. Your dreams tumbling about willy nilly.

Bingo Balls: photo credit - bridges&balloons

And therein lies the problem.

You don’t think of your dreams as possible, and you don’t give them the attention they deserve.

You mostly think of them wistfully, with a tender ‘someday, maybe’ longing.

Someday I’ll travel the world.

Someday I’ll sing on stage.

Someday I’ll be my own boss.

Each one tossed about, spinning endlessly in the basket of your mind.

Whatever your someday desire is, it’s time to get real about the fact that right now – today – it’s neglected, cushioned by the unknown and surrounded by the thousands of negative thoughts you think every single day.

From the book Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff:

“Our minds—made up of our thoughts, beliefs, and self-talk—are always ‘on.’ According to scientists, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. . . And what’s even more startling is that of those 60,000 thoughts, 95 percent are the same thoughts you had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. Your mind is like a record player playing the same record over and over again.

Still, that wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the next statistic: for the average person, 80 percent of those habitual thoughts are negative. That means that every day most people have more than 45,000 negative thoughts. Dr. Daniel Amen, a world-renowned psychiatrist and brain imaging specialist, calls them automatic negative thoughts, or ANTs.”

Basically, your someday thoughts (aka the dreams and desires you’re neglecting) are being trashed by an army of ANTs.

So, how do you stop your dream from being sidetracked by this army of negative Nellies?

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The Cure for What Ails You

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 11 Conversations

 

Ever notice how a good laugh shifts almost any mood?

Some days it is the ONLY thing that works.

“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Robert Frost

Think about those moments when you really do feel crazy. Laughter releases the pressure and returns you to a more resourceful state.

A-mazing Laughter, sculpture by Yue Minjun in Vancouver's English Bay

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.” – Charles Dickens

Similar to yawning, it’s really hard to watch someone laughing and not feel the urge to join in.

It feels so damn good. Stop resisting!

Let yourself laugh, out loud and more often!

 

“Laughter is the language of the soul.” – Pablo Neruda

The first time I attended a silent retreat I caught myself laughing as I walked through the woods on my own. It bubbled up from within and echoed through the trees.

Best. Feeling. Ever.

 

“Life is really a great cosmic laughter.” – Osho

Listen, the joke is often on you, so why not laugh about it? It will more than likely be funny in a few years.

Why wait?

Laugh more now.

A-mazing Laughter, sculpture by Yue Minjun in Vancouver's English Bay

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

Life. IS. Funny.

Stop wasting your precious time worrying and stressing. Open yourself up to a big ol’ belly laugh.

Look for opportunities to laugh.

They’re everywhere when you pay attention.

 

 

Come to the Dark Side: permission to own where you suck

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 50 Conversations

 

The past month has challenged me in all areas, mind, body and spirit.

I could blame it on Mercury retrograde, or my post conference funk, but whatever the reason, July took me out. You could say I’d been hit by a cosmic 2’x4′.

shadow image in black and white

Me and my shadow; welcome to the dark side.

Blocked and doubtful, Lizzie on full-blown loudspeaker about my work and what’s next, and then because that wasn’t enough, blindsided by an inflamed disc in my low back.

Really God? You thought that was a good idea?

And just like that, I fell down the slippery slope to the dark side.

The dark side ain’t pretty.

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