life coaching

The Art of 3D Living

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 8 Conversations

 

3D usually refers to something having three dimensions, ie: width, length and depth.

I’m using 3D to refer to three aspects of life that aren’t usually thrown together. I found myself falling down the rabbit hole exploring them and how you can use them to have a more vibrant 3D experience of life.

3D Living = Death + Dreams + Delight

3D glasses

Death comes knocking when you least expect it, the mother of all wake up calls.

Dreams have a life of their own, sometimes existing in the least hospitable environments.

Delight can happen in any moment of any day, catching your breath, catching you off guard.

Do you live as though you have choice with these three seemingly unrelated bedfellows or do you more often than not find yourself living as a victim of life’s circumstances?

 

1D – Death

You act like you’ll live forever, avoiding the topic of death at all costs.

This looks like head in the sand, someday thinking which usually at some point turns into a litany of why you can’t have what you want.

  • Someday. . . I’m going to have my own business, and then I’ll have the money and freedom to live the way I really want BUT right now, I’m stuck at a job I hate with a boss I hate even more and I can’t quit because I’ve got a mortgage, kids, debt, etc.

OR

  • Someday…(this used to be one of my faves) when I meet the right person I’m going to have the most amazing relationship and I’ve done all this personal development work and I’ll be ready BUT not right now because I should probably lose some weight and buy a new wardrobe first.

You get the gist right? Someday… maybe…when the time is right, but not now.

It’s about all the amazing things you’ll do when. . . . . . . . . . {fill in the blank}.

The part you need to shake up is that part of you that’s not willing to be responsible for taking the actions required. Picture a child, fingers in their ears, singing “lalalalalalalalalalala” loudly to drown out reality.

Heads-up: Living in lala-land leads to a life of regrets.

Put on your 3D glasses and look at death from a different perspective.

Continue reading →

Because Deathbed Regrets Suck

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 16 Conversations

 

Dear One,

I couldn’t sleep last night.

Someone I know died last week, a friend of the family. I didn’t know her all that well, but every time I saw her, every interaction I had with her left me feeling appreciated and acknowledged.

She was so very present, her face lighting up when she saw you. She smiled big, from deep within and seemed to squeeze the joy out of life.

I don’t even know what she accomplished in life. It’s how she lived and how she left people feeling that was extraordinary.

I thought of her last night, her death yet another wake up call.

It got me thinking about life, and how you stop yourself from really living.

I know you know what I’m talking about.

Surviving is not the same as living.

It’s actually quite easy to survive, to live with all the things you’re tolerating and all the ways you’ve suppressed yourself.

But your dreams and desires for this life?

Where do they exist amidst the toleration and survival?

Maybe you talk about them a lot, but because you rarely take action you sound like the boy who cried wolf.

Maybe you write about them…at night, in your journal, when no one’s looking.

You keep them safe and locked away.

And love. Sweet, sweet soul-nourishing love.

What about it? Do you share your love, expressing it freely?

Or do you save it for the ‘appropriate’ time.

What are you waiting for?

Continue reading →

The Humanity of Needs

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 11 Conversations

Mural & graffiti wall Portland Oregon

According to Anthony Robbins, human beings have six basic human needs:

Certainty – to be comfortable and avoid pain

Variety – to have stimulus, change and surprise in your life

Significance – to feel special and worthy of attention

Connection & Love – to feel connected and loving, of yourself and others

Growth – to feel fully alive and continually growing

Contribution – to contribute beyond yourself, creating meaning and serving the greater good

We all have these same needs, we just get them met in different ways, both positive and negative.

For example:

You can meet your need for certainty by deciding to believe in yourself OR deciding to never leave your house again. Yes, both those decisions meet the need.

This happens all the time and explains why we so often begin things only to sabotage and lead ourselves to failure. I think that’s also when your lizard brain makes itself known!

Anything you find difficult but love to do, you can bet it’s because some of these needs are being met.

And when you have a sense that taking an action will meet many of your needs, you’re more likely to follow through.

On the flip side, if there’s something you put off, ignore or avoid doing, it’s because how you currently think of it causes a feeling of lack, that it won’t fulfill any of your needs.

Here’s the interesting thing about these needs –

Anything you do can meet ALL of these needs if you change your perception (what you notice and/or believe) or your strategy (how you get it done). More on that in a future post.

It all starts with awareness.

You’ve got to become aware of not just what you’re doing, but why you’re doing it. This awareness can then lead to a new strategy to fulfill on what you want in life.

What if for one week you simply noticed how your needs show up?

Nothing to do, nothing to fix.

Just notice.

 

Over to you:

  • Which of the six needs do you focus on most?
  • What do you do to meet that need?
  • What do you make it mean that you focus on that need?
  • And what if it didn’t mean that at all?

 

 

Your Words Are Heard

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 11 Conversations

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about the World Domination Summit. 

It would be a gross understatement to say it rocked me to the core, in ways both expected and surprising.

Surprising in that I noticed where I still hold back.

That there’s another layer. Opening deeper, embracing more, living in the now.

It’s a practice.

Ongoing till my last breath.

“Spiritual practice is like eating for the heart.” – Mark Silver

Opening as a practice.

Opening and expressing.

Why I’m here.

Purpose.  Mission.  Path.

Call it what you will.

I call it my heart’s desire.

I’m here to create a supernova-like collision that cracks open your brilliance so it becomes impossible not to take action on what’s important in your life.
I’m here to kick your ass and love you more than socially acceptable, because you were born to shine.

Now. Not someday.

Today.

Because there’s no time like the present and deathbed regrets suck.

Your words are heard.

So right now, in this moment what would you say about your heart’s desire?

Say it now in the comments below.

 

 

A Summit of Dreams

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 10 Conversations

I had a dream recently.

It felt like both a vague memory and something yet to be realized.

Maybe that’s what dreams are – reminders of what’s possible – but possible coming from the truth of who you are.

The truth of who you are.

The dream you are here for.

It triggers that small part of your brain, on the alert, protecting you from:

  • failure
  • rejection
  • disappointment

That part of you, your lizard brain, so totally committed to keeping you safe. Even from your dreams.

And safe you remain.

Thinking of someday . . .

A day, far off in the distant future.

A day when the planets align and the moon is blue.

A day when you finally get your ducks in a row.

But (this is where your dream becomes a nightmare) someday N E V E R comes.

Unless . . .

  • A loved one dies suddenly
  • You get the diagnosis you never want to hear
  • Mother Nature wreaks havoc and destroys life as you know it

We’ve all heard stories of this type of wake up call.

Stories of that inspiring person who wakes the fuck up and refuses to succumb to the diagnosis, embracing their dreams instead.

What if you didn’t have to wait for that kind of wake up call?

What if instead, you found yourself in a room with 500 of the most awake human beings you’ve ever encountered?

Continue reading →

One. Small. Action.

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 26 Conversations

 

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am ‘I’? And if not now, when?” – Hillel the Elder

 

One day. Someday.

Wish I may, wish I might.

Good things come to those who wait.

WTF?

Good things come to those who take action on their wishes and dreams.

Even if it’s just one small action that nobody sees but you.

One.  Small.  Action.

 

Day after day those actions add up.

Day after day, action by action. Step by step.

The life you say you want, the dreams burning a hole in your chest – they depend on these small actions.

 

Over to you:

  • What dream have you put on hold?
  • What one action could you take today?

 

“Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

 

The Practice of NO

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 21 Conversations

 

Ever notice how Italians say “No” with attitude?

It’s a big, decisive, full-bodied NO.

Curl your tongue to form a strong N.

Follow with a short punchy O.

Learning to say no with this kind of surety is the best way to say good-bye to overwhelm and resentment.

Because here’s the thing you’ve been avoiding. . .

How did you get to this point?

It’s not tough to figure out. I’ll bet you said yes quickly and without much thought. Yeah, I know. I’ve done it too.

You’re probably inundated every day. Requests, favours, tasks and a never-ending to-do list. It’s so damn easy to get caught up in saying yes.

(Which frequently sounds like, “sure, no problem, yup, any time” said with a weary smile on your face.)

I used to be a yes gal – an automatic “let me help you with your project/job search/relationship/fill-in-the-blank” frickin’ YES!

I admit it.

I love helping others, I’m easily inspired, and YES felt pretty damn good!

Until it didn’t.

Continue reading →

Her Name Was Lola

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 66 Conversations

 

The time has come to unleash that part of yourself you’ve been holding back.

You know, that part of you that likes the spotlight, craves attention and is longing to shine like the gems on a showgirl’s. . .tiara!

YES! That part!

Let’s call this oh-so-sparkly part Lola!

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there

You might be thinking, “Hold on there! That’s crazy!”, what does Lola have to do with my life and business?

Everything!

And yes, I know Lola loses her mind at the end of the song, but let’s focus on the positive for now, ok?

So. . .what exactly is so appealing about Lola?

Two words – showgirl strut!

It’s a way of being that is unabashedly, unapologetically, out-there-in-the-limelight, shining like you really want to!

It’s a way of being that has you shine from the inside out, sharing yourself and your gifts in the way that would be most wildly fulfilling for you.

Look at this gorgeous showgirl in the photo!

For me, she’s the epitome of Lola, oozing confidence, radiance and presence. And her smile beams like a beacon!

That’s what I’m talking about, and if it takes feathers and high heels to get into character? Then so be it!

Mars Dorian said it this way, “If you want to have an exciting and incredible life, you must make your favourite personality traits 3 times more extreme.”

When I first read his post it reminded me of a leadership training I did many years ago. One assignment that we had to do for the duration of the 6 month program was to be 10 times more excited in life.

Can you imagine?!

I thought this would be a piece of cake! I mean really, I’m outgoing, an obvious extrovert and I’m usually pretty excited (and excitable) in life.

However, much to my surprise the assignment uncovered all the areas where I wasn’t fully myself, where I hid my light, suppressed what I wanted and played small. There were no sparkles and definitely no feather boas in sight!

Continue reading →

Playing the Game of Love

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

What’s this talk of a game?

Call me crazy, but I think love is a game.

And like all games, how you play makes all the difference.

Before we get into the “rules”, let me share a bit of my story and what changed my thoughts on love.

You see, my heart was broken once, long ago.

So very broken.

It felt irreparable and I believed that life would never be the same.

And it wouldn’t be the same. Ever.

How could it be?

No matter how hard you try to repair something, it can never be what it once was.

That’s not to say it can’t be better, but I never thought of it that way all those years ago.

I simply felt damaged. Broken beyond repair.

Jasmine Lamb says, “Most of us long for love, look out for love, worry we are too late for love, but not enough of us live love.”

Jasmine is so very right.

Continue reading →

Nothing But the Facts

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 18 Conversations

 

Coaching – 57,800,000 results according to Google.

Welcome to the world of coaching in 2011.

Ten years ago? I’d get the blank stare, followed by a hesitant, “What sport do you coach?”

Now? Coaches are everywhere. The Internet is full of them. It’s the newest, most all encompassing trend there is and if you spend any amount of time online you’ll discover quickly that every Tom, Dick and Harry is now calling themselves a a coach.

But what exactly does that mean?

Continue reading →