life coaching

25 Breaks to Energize You

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 36 Conversations

 

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed and drained in your day-to-day life isn’t it?

Inundated by email, voicemail and texts for starters, there’s an unspoken assumption that you should be available 24/7. And that’s before taking into account your kids, spouse or partner!

24/7 . . .

Do you really want to be that available?

I felt my energy drain just writing that!

The truth is everything in life is either giving you energy or draining it. The best way to combat the energy drain is to be at your most resourceful by building up and replenishing your energy throughout the day.

This is an opportunity to get creative and proactive about your self-care – a very good thing to take on during this month-long Homage to Self-Care

With a little attention, you can integrate these breaks into your life and with practice, develop new habits that top up your energy leaving you feeling better than ever.

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The System of You: Mind, Body & Spirit

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 21 Conversations

You are a system that consists of mind, body and soul.

You are a system that consists of mind, body and spirit.

three figures in reflection In this trinity, you probably have a preference, an area that comes effortlessly and alongside that, an area of challenge.

For me, the focus on the mind is taken care of with almost no thought as I read constantly, love learning and sharing what I’ve learned with others.

My spirit is cared for, although a bit less reliably, but I do make time to meditate, unplug and attend silent retreats as often as I can.

The system is challenged most in the physical, my body, and over time, this has taken a toll.

As I shared in the introduction to this month-long Homage, what works for me is to take things on in community with an aspect of accountability.

Well then, what better place to be held accountable than right here on my blog?!

Because here’s the thing…

Your body doesn’t lie.

This comes up a lot in my coaching work with clients.

Mostly because we don’t generally pay enough attention to what’s going on in our bodies and there’s a cost to that. A cost to our well-being and energy, but also to our emotional resourcefulness.

But instead of listening to our bodies, we ignore, rationalize and suppress most of the messages our bodies are giving us every day.

What do you think might show up if you really started paying attention, listening to those messages?

What positive impact would it have to check in with yourself throughout the day asking,

“What message is my body giving me right now?”

For example:

  • Your back twinges.
    • Do you move away from your desk, stretch and/or make yourself a cup of tea?
    • Or do you push through the twinge and keep working for another hour?
  • Your neck feels tense.
    • Do you drop your chin, close your eyes and roll your neck from left to right feeling the tension release?
    • Or do you give your shoulders a quick shrug and quickly get back to work?
  • Your belly growls.
    • Do you jump up to grab a snack?
    • Or do you check in, listening for what it needs. Food? Water? Distraction?
“No more words. Hear only the voice within.” – Rumi

Your body is constantly talking to you; are you listening?

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Paying Homage to Self-Care

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 53 Conversations

 

Homage: respect or reverence paid

Self-care: care for oneself

For a few months I’ve been shifting my focus to self-care due to some physical challenges. Nothing life threatening, but challenging none the less.

In my enthusiasm and passion for the work I love (coaching & writing), I’d been spending increasingly more time at my desk, focusing on my mind and forgetting the body and spirit part of the system.

Here’s what my body reminded me of. . .

It’s not about what you know, it’s about how you live and the choices you make each day.

Ouch. They say we teach what we most need to learn, and I’m getting the message loud and clear!

female sculpture in front of grass

 

Brene Brown says that calm is the ability to manage your emotional reactivity.

Calm is a superpower.

Truth is, it’s pretty tough to manage your reactivity when you don’t feel resourceful or when you’re body’s in crisis.

 

The shift to focusing on myself, specifically my body has not been easy and it doesn’t come naturally to me.

My tendency is usually to focus on and be there for others, and I know I’m not alone in this.

Friends, family, clients – I hear it often – everyone is challenged by the daunting task of taking care of ourselves.

Why is that?

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Harnessing the Butterflies

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 12 Conversations

 

Once long ago, I had a dream to do something creative with my life. As a child, I coloured, drew pictures, wrote stories and just knew that somehow that would continue to be part of my life.

At 18 I applied to art school. I wanted nothing more than to paint, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

That was my first real memory of the butterflies; seized by anxiety and fear, I chose to trust and follow those elusive fluttery creatures.

But I didn’t fit the stereotype of a brooding, starving artist. I was smart, happy, in a relationship and looking forward to my future, which in the end did not go the way I’d planned.

The relationship ended and the art dream died, along with my positive outlook on life.

Bitter, cynical and more than a little jaded, I gave up my youthful dreams and joined the rat race. The stories I’d been telling myself were more real than any reality and I was stuck.

Fast forward six years; I’m sitting in a course trying to create a new future. The trying only created a headache, not a vision that inspired me in any way. The more I tried to come up with the right words, the right future, the less inspired I felt.

I sat in my chair resigned that I would ever have what I wanted in life. So I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath. Then another. I felt the pressure ease, my mind relax. I heard the voices of my group around me, but I just kept breathing.

In and out. . .and suddenly, I heard myself say, “I want to travel, meet people and take photographs.”

I looked up and people around me were smiling. At that moment I wasn’t quite sure why. It seemed insane, a pipe dream with no way of becoming reality.

But my group encouraged me to keep those words alive, even if I had no idea how to make it happen.

So I let myself dream.

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Yesterday You Said Tomorrow

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 41 Conversations

 

Tomorrow you’re going to take that trip; you know, the one you’ve always dreamed of.

Tomorrow you’re going to write that book; you know, the one that’s been burning inside you forever.

Tomorrow is going to be the day you have fun; no really, the whole day just to play like a child.

But the days turn into weeks, and then into months.

The tomorrows add up and turn into years.

And you look back and wonder. . .

What the hell happened? 

They say time flies when you’re having fun.

Ha! It also flies when you’re saving up your tomorrows.

But. . .

What if today you did something different?

What if today you took one new action?

Because here’s the thing. . .

You’ve said tomorrow far too often and far too long.

You know it’s true.

It’s time to start saying (and doing) something new.

NOW.

Like shifting from someday thinking to ==> “Hell yeah, what one action can I take today?”

Like hearing your lizard brain and saying ==> “Screw you Lizzy! I’m gonna make that call!”

Like listening to your heart’s desire and saying ==> “YES, I hear you now.”

Others have done it.

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Stretching Beyond

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 6 Conversations

 

As I watched, it stretched its neck, ever so gracefully upwards. . .

Reaching for the tender leaves hanging down.

The word vulnerable came to mind and I wondered. . .

Where are you not stretching? Not reaching for the tenderest, juiciest leaves (your dreams)?

swan stretching its neck

Where are you waiting…

– for someday

– for the right moment

– for the leaves to drop

Why not reach up?

Way up.

Stick your neck out.

S T R E T C H .

And go for what you want.

You’ve nothing to lose.

You don’t have what you want now.

“It’s silly to be afraid that you’re not going to get what you want if you ask. Because you are already not getting what you want.” – Marcia Martin

Silly you.

 

Tell me:

What is just out of reach?

What’s the cost of not stretching?

Here’s Where the Story Ends

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 41 Conversations

 

Ahh, the stories you tell yourself. If I had a nickel for all the stories my clients have shared over the last 10 years I’d be rich.

Very. Very. Rich.

stack of old books and spectaclesStories you were told growing up.

Stories you made up about yourself.

Stories that held you back.

It’s enough to have Freud turn over in his grave.

Err, actually, he’d probably like all your stories because that would mean lots of time on the couch.

I was reminded of the power of stories by two things  recently:  a chat with the fabulous El Edwards of TruthPassionJoy and a song called The Story Ends by The Sundays.

The thing that most people forget about stories is this. . .

They’re all made up in the first place. 

You create you. Then you forget.

A relative comments on your height/weight/hair colour ==> You make this mean you’ll have to compensate and work harder than everyone else to get ahead.

An ex-boyfriend says you’re too intense ==> You decide you’re too much for people to handle and start suppressing yourself.

A kid on the playground calls you a nerd ==> You give up on all things athletic because clearly, you are NOT a jock.

Your 4th grade teacher says “stop trying so hard, you’ll never be an artist” ==> You stop doing what you love to do (except in your most secret dreams) and do what’s expected.

See how this works?

They said X ==> You made up Y

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Say Something New

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 19 Conversations

“The words you speak become the house you live in.” – Hafiz

mime putting on make-up in mirror

I recently had the pleasure of exploring what Monique MacDonald calls your Sacred Gifts. Her work had been recommended to me by many people and that always gets my attention. Then my friend and colleague Coral Heron took the training and the opportunity arose.

After 15+ years of personal development work of all kinds I know myself pretty well. My strengths and weaknesses are familiar friends and I do my best to focus on the former. But as Coral lead me through the process another layer of the onion fell away.

Your gifts are not necessarily your skills or talents, or what you’re good at. Instead, think of them as qualities you were born with that allow you to do ordinary things in extraordinary ways. Chances are, that like me, you’ve probably taken them for granted.

“Gifts are planted in your being-ness, and must reach out beyond your stories and your human-ness.” – Monique MacDonald

I was intrigued to by the idea that your gifts are always for the benefit of others. As Coral and I discussed each of my gifts this became evident. They’ve shown up in the work I do, the way I live my life, even my interests.

My gifts include: Wisdom, Encouragement, Knowledge, Leadership, Writing, Extraordinary Trust and Teaching.

While many of them were not a surprise, a couple of them triggered some resistance. Some part of me didn’t really want to own them, especially if they were for the benefit of others. I’m pretty sure that’s where my next level of growth lies.

The surprise was realizing that this new awareness of my gifts felt like pieces of a puzzle – the puzzle that is me – falling into place.

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Where Do You Look?

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 8 Conversations

 

“When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs.
When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.” – Ansel Adams

sculpture and sky shot in black and white

When thoughts and words become unclear where do you focus?

  • Do you look inward for clarity and confidence?
  • Do you trust your own standards and ideals?

OR

  • Do you look outward, searching for validation from others?
  • Do you question yourself and let others decide for you?

“Trust yourself, and you will know how to live.” – Goethe

Where do you focus and how does it serve you?

 

How to Defeat Your Paper Tigers

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 2 Conversations

 

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.” – Amelia Earhart

Tiger behind bars

The decision to act IS usually the most difficult part of the coaching process. Paper tigers stop us regularly, even when it’s clear they’re made of paper.

Look at the photo. Due to the depth of field, or where the photographer focused, the bars don’t look solid or real. Our beliefs can be like that in reverse. It’s all in our focus or perspective.

The thing that totally jazzes me as a coach is that we really can do most anything we decide to do. The limits are more often in our minds than in reality.

A few examples:

  • After years of struggling, a client became crystal clear on what she wanted. Within a year, she bought a condo, changed careers, adopted a baby and began a new relationship.
  • A few months into coaching, another client announced she wanted to move to Europe for a year. That was three years ago! She successfully moved, working virtually for her organization in North America. She too, bought a home and had a baby in that time.
  • One year after knee surgery, I ran a half marathon, something I’d never imagined possible. Growing up I was the smart one, not the athletic one. The power of my decision to run the race was so empowering, it blew my paper tiger away in a puff of air!

In each example, two things played a major role:

1.  Clarity

  • What do you really want and why?
  • How do you want to feel throughout the process?

2.  Commitment

  • What do you need to put into place to get started?
  • What structures can help you stay focused?

Like the quote says, “the process is its own reward.”

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