lessons

Lessons & Reverberations

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

 

The biggest lesson of 2011 was this. . .

You have to live in the now.

I know you’ve heard it before, but we all need reminding now and then. You simply can’t wait for a health crisis or any other kind of emergency before pursuing what you want in life.

When my father-in-law died suddenly last January, it was a wake-up call like no other. It lit a fire that caused a ripple effect throughout my life and business. And even though I’d thought this before, in an instant it became more real. . .

There is no someday.

It went from an intellectual concept to a burning desire to wake people up.

That is a lesson I can never forget. Its learning can never be undone. Ever.

Some days I don’t know if I’m up to this calling.

 

I think, who am I to wake people up?

And then I hear, who am I not to?

Because the alternative – people continuing to live and die with regrets – has become unbearable. Continue reading →

Turn Up Your Awareness and Come Alive (leaf lesson #2)

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

 

“All you have to do is to pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step.” – Paulo Coehlo

So the question is. . .do you pay attention?

Time after time, I’ve learned that it’s all about awareness. It really is a muscle that you can develop with practice. And when you consciously turn up your awareness (think of it like a dimmer switch) everything zooms into focus.

Solutions become clear, often in abundance.

Next steps open up, right there in front of you.

Confusion fades away.

How do you turn up that awareness then?

The exercise I shared from my retreat is a good way to start. Being with an object (for me this leaf) with no expectations, no judgments, no concerns, created space for my mind to see it (and life) in a new way.

Continue reading →

Lessons Are Everywhere (in which I learn about myself in a most unusual way)

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 18 Conversations

 

Ever notice how anything in life can teach you if you let it?

While on retreat recently, as part of a group exercise I was invited to choose a leaf from a table covered with leaves of all shapes, colours and sizes. The beauty of fall lay before me.

While initially drawn to the intense red of the Japanese Maple, I found my hand reaching out to this leaf.

maple leaf found at Rivendell, Bowen Island

I didn’t question it or try to convince myself otherwise. I simply trusted my intuition, something I sometimes forget in the busyness of life.

The invitation was to notice if the chosen leaf had anything to teach me.

Funny how the oddest things seem perfectly natural when I’m on retreat.

Up in my room, I placed it on the desk where I did my writing.

And so I sat with my leaf.

Continue reading →

Harnessing the Butterflies

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 12 Conversations

 

Once long ago, I had a dream to do something creative with my life. As a child, I coloured, drew pictures, wrote stories and just knew that somehow that would continue to be part of my life.

At 18 I applied to art school. I wanted nothing more than to paint, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

That was my first real memory of the butterflies; seized by anxiety and fear, I chose to trust and follow those elusive fluttery creatures.

But I didn’t fit the stereotype of a brooding, starving artist. I was smart, happy, in a relationship and looking forward to my future, which in the end did not go the way I’d planned.

The relationship ended and the art dream died, along with my positive outlook on life.

Bitter, cynical and more than a little jaded, I gave up my youthful dreams and joined the rat race. The stories I’d been telling myself were more real than any reality and I was stuck.

Fast forward six years; I’m sitting in a course trying to create a new future. The trying only created a headache, not a vision that inspired me in any way. The more I tried to come up with the right words, the right future, the less inspired I felt.

I sat in my chair resigned that I would ever have what I wanted in life. So I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath. Then another. I felt the pressure ease, my mind relax. I heard the voices of my group around me, but I just kept breathing.

In and out. . .and suddenly, I heard myself say, “I want to travel, meet people and take photographs.”

I looked up and people around me were smiling. At that moment I wasn’t quite sure why. It seemed insane, a pipe dream with no way of becoming reality.

But my group encouraged me to keep those words alive, even if I had no idea how to make it happen.

So I let myself dream.

Continue reading →

Being With What Is

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 21 Conversations

 

Guest post by Rita Chand – Sharing the being part of human being.

 

I’d just hung up the phone with Sandi after calling her to help me deal with something. She had asked if I was up to writing something about this experience I was having, that it was something her readers could probably relate to. I love Sandi so saying no to her isn’t an option. Little did I know I’d be inspired to write something as soon as I hung up the phone. But she’s good like that.

[pullquote]“There is the risk you cannot afford to take and there is the risk you cannot afford not to take”. ~ Peter Drucker[/pullquote]

On Monday, I found out I didn’t get a job that I really really REALLY wanted. The process lasted a month, the job was exciting and amazing and it was everything I wanted. Everything I’d been talking about for quite some time. Happiness couldn’t be found sitting at my desk day after day anymore – I needed more, desired so much more. And this job offered it.

But, I didn’t get it. After all that, someone else did.

And it’s okay. . .ultimately it is.

It wasn’t meant to be.

There are bigger, BETTER things out there for me.

It’s her loss.

And all the other platitudes that people say to make us feel better. They want to help so they say what they know to say. I appreciate that. But we all know it doesn’t help. None of those things help. And I think we know that too. God bless people for being so awesome.

My friends are sad for me. . .well actually, most of them are just sad that I am sad. They didn’t want me to move away, so some have shared they are relieved.

So yes, it is okay. Ultimately.

Does it feel okay? No. Did I cry for 2 days after? Yes.

Even at the gym. I just cried. I’m disappointed. Heartachingly, gut wrenchingly disappointed.

sculpture in dejected pose

I don’t know about you, but I don’t do disappointment very well.

In fact (don’t tell anyone I said this) I think disappointment is one of the worst emotions to deal with. I’d rather be pissed off. Or better still, indifferent. I can do those really well.

But to sit in my own disappointment. . .forget it.

Disappointment is like the cooties of feelings. There’s nothing redeeming about disappointment. It just downright sucks.

Continue reading →

Leaning Out

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

Juliet's balcony

I used to live in a loft in a hip part of town. Too hip for me I sometimes thought.

The loft had a European style balcony; not really a balcony at all but rather a railing just beyond the door with maybe a foot of standing room.

The year I lived there was one of the most challenging of my life.

My business which had started off strong was struggling; my confidence diminishing daily. And the root of it all was a story.

A story that, over time, became a touchstone worn smooth in my pocket. Sometimes I would finger it lovingly, speaking it aloud like a mantra. Other times I’d bring it out into the light, examining it from every angle.

Once in awhile, the story would keep me from sleep, and I would write. Pages and pages of story. With each telling it became more detailed, more real, more damaging to both my mind and my heart.

One part of me knew the story was a lie. But I hung onto it like a drowning man to a life preserver.

Why would I do that?

The story had ceased to be a story.

The story had become the truth.

Continue reading →

Playing the Game of Love

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

What’s this talk of a game?

Call me crazy, but I think love is a game.

And like all games, how you play makes all the difference.

Before we get into the “rules”, let me share a bit of my story and what changed my thoughts on love.

You see, my heart was broken once, long ago.

So very broken.

It felt irreparable and I believed that life would never be the same.

And it wouldn’t be the same. Ever.

How could it be?

No matter how hard you try to repair something, it can never be what it once was.

That’s not to say it can’t be better, but I never thought of it that way all those years ago.

I simply felt damaged. Broken beyond repair.

Jasmine Lamb says, “Most of us long for love, look out for love, worry we are too late for love, but not enough of us live love.”

Jasmine is so very right.

Continue reading →

How to Stop Singing the Blues

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

 

You’re on top of the world, feeling good and life blindsides you.

What do you do?

Do you pick yourself up right away and move onto the next task at hand?

Or do you sing your own personal version of the blues?

We’ve all been down that road. But what I’m curious about is how you get through it. Just to be clear, I’m not saying there’s one right way to get through it.

On the contrary.

What works for you may not work for someone else, even when you have a similar issue.

So how do you know what will work?

Experimentation and good ol’ fashioned research! Over the years I’ve tried numerous ways to get myself through it when the blues come out of nowhere and pull me in!

While it’s not always easy to coach yourself (in fact, sometimes it’s nearly impossible!) the more tools you have in your toolkit, the more resourceful you’ll become over time. Not quite the same as having your own coach on speed dial, but in a pinch, self coaching can make enough of a difference to get you heading in the right direction.

If you’re like me, there are times in life when you can still be knocked off kilter when things don’t go the way you’d planned, and head into a tail-spin of “Lady Sings the Blues!”

Continue reading →

What You and Harry Potter Have in Common

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 5 Conversations

 

“Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him.”

Dumbledore says this in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Right before he died.

Last breath.

Words of wisdom.

Well, this isn’t Hogwarts and I’m not Dumbledore, but listen up…

You are the best hope you have. Trust you.

Let’s be honest; like Harry, you’ve probably had issues trusting yourself in the past.

I’ve been thinking about this so damn much that it turned into a blog post and week-long experiment.

Remember the definition of trust?

trust: ability to rely on another person’s integrity, strength, sureness etc. i.e. You can trust someone to do the right thing.

At the beginning of the week I felt like I had no connection to this definition.

But I love experiments, and suddenly? Space for something new to show up.

The word itself – experiment – magically makes room in my grey cells that few other words provide. As soon as I begin to think in terms of an experiment, I become intrigued, curious and fully engaged.

The past week was a perfect example of this.

Continue reading →

Experiment in Trust

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 23 Conversations

 

Trust has been on my mind a lot lately.

You might think after so many years of personal development and almost a decade of coaching I’d be a very trusting person.

Not so much.

My lil’ lizard brain is suspicious and cynical, and you’d be amazed at the skepticism that rears its head almost every time I read or try something new. Why do you think it took me so long to start a blog and get on Twitter?

I’ve been lied to and cheated on in the game of love.

I’ve been burned by business agreements gone wrong, promises broken.

I’ve been hard done by, strung along and…

I know. This is starting to sound like a dramatic, movie-of-the-week. The result is this,

Not. So. Trusting.

You’ve got your own story of disillusionment and disappointment, so, we’re in this together.

Continue reading →