coaching

The Who of You

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 48 Conversations

Who are you?

 

Who are you?

When someone asks this question, it’s easy to fall back on the obvious. . .

  • where you’re from
  • what you do for a living
  • if you’re married or single

You know, the usual suspects.

But you also know how utterly inadequate (and often boring) those answers are.

You do know that, right?

Some people say they’re the sum of all their experiences in the past. They have long, drawn out stories of why they are the way they are.

Others, thinking they’re clever, declare adamantly “No! I’m better than my past because I’ll never be like my mother/father/that/them!” but that just makes their future a reaction to the past.

Which leads us back to the beginning.

Who are you really? 

And what if that answer was generative instead of related to the past?

gen·er·a·tive

:: capable of producing or creating

In the moment, you can create who you are.

That doesn’t mean you make it up or lie; just that you consciously choose who you say you are.

Your DNA gave you form.

Your words create your world. 

They create the WHO of you.

 

I am. . .

first-born * Aries * prairie girl * ocean lover * Mediterranean * creator * listener * lover * ass-kicker * Fire Starter * wife * daughter * sister * BFF * smart * playful * passionate * writer * coach * instigator * blogger * book lover * pescatarian * extrovert * a collision waiting to happen * spark to your flame * leader * photographer * muse * gypsy spirit * cage rattler

I am all that. . .and more.

Because even that juicy list of descriptors doesn’t cover the gift that is me.

It does tell you a helluva lot more than the facts though:

Born in Winnipeg, live in Vancouver, professional life coach, married to a great guy.

Nothing wrong with those facts. They’re just a little dry.

 

Mostly, you haven’t got a clue who you are.

You fall back on old, familiar stories from the past. It’s easy, you don’t have to think about it, everyone does it. I get it.

But imagine playing with it a bit.

And the next time someone asks, “Who are you?” you smile so big before responding. . .

I’m a gift, who are you?

* Cue dazed, wide-eyed look of bemusement.

Sounds ridiculous, but trust me, it engages people in ways the facts will never do.

My personal favourite is “I’m a collision waiting to happen” and then I have a blast explaining what that means to me.

I unwrap the gift and share my passion, my zest for life, my joy.

Because really, joy trumps fact every time.

 

 

 

Ode to Joy

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 16 Conversations

I heard a Hawaiian phrase recently – malama pono – which means ‘take good care of yourself’ and I wondered, do you?

Do you take care of yourself the way you know you should or do you coast through life taking your health and well-being for granted?

heart shaped stone etched with word joy

I know I don’t always take the best care of myself, distracted by business, commitments to others and yes, I admit it – sometimes laziness.

What? A life coach admitting to laziness? Not too common I know, but hey I’m human and I’ve got my challenges just like you do!

It’s been four months since I first focused on self-care in the month-long homage. Four months during which time my focus has waxed and waned as reliably as the moon.

And it makes sense that I’m thinking of it again now as I’ve been in Maui the past two weeks and self-care has been effortless, creating a sense of well-being and joy I haven’t felt in a very long time.

This focus on self-care and joy was partly inspired by Andrea Olson’s recent post 100 Tiny Pulses along with Martha Beck’s Joy Diet, not new but an empowering menu of daily practices for a happier life. But more on that in a minute.

While here in Maui, this is what effortless has looked like.

Typical vacation day:

  • Up between 6-6:3oam
  • 15 minutes of meditation (sometimes watching the horizon for whales)
  • Breakfast of fresh fruit, yogurt, maca and nuts
  • An hour or two of writing
  • Day’s activity
  • Picnic lunch made with fresh local ingredients
  • Lots of walking and fresh air
  • Healthy dinner, usually grilled with fresh veggies
  • Asleep by 10:30pm

What’s important to note about this regime is this – it’s pretty simple, and more importantly it’s sustainable.

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Get Up, Stand Up

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 17 Conversations

 

“The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” – Paolo Coelho

black & white knock out at boxing match

How many times have you given up after 2 or 3 falls?

 

What stories did you tell yourself afterwards?

What did you decide about you?

I’m guessing if it weren’t you stopping you it’d be rather entertaining, possibly mystifying  but nowhere near as frustrating as it really is.

Am I right? (annoying aren’t I?)

“While you are building habits, it is 100% certain that you will be failing, not just a few times, but often.” – Julien Smith

Thing is, whether it’s starting a business, pursuing a dream or planning the next phase of your life, it’s tough to go it alone.

I know because I’ve got a pretty fierce dose of the Lone Ranger syndrome myself. It goes like this. . .

  • I don’t need any help.
  • I can do it myself.
  • Are you suggesting I can’t?
  • Watch me!

It’s a vicious cycle that can go on indefinitely and knock me out cold. Why? Because when I’m in that place, no one can contribute or offer support.

No one can make a difference and it’s painful.

“Would-be entrepreneurs who hold onto everything and try to do it all themselves usually sputter, then tumble.” – newenterprise

So the question is. . .

Who’s in your corner?

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21 Quotes To Crush Your Someday Thinking

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 29 Conversations

 

‎Today I am sharing my favourite someday crushing quotes; the ones I go to myself when I need a reminder that there is NO someday.

silver flying pig piggy bank

1.  “Make today worth remembering.” – Zig Ziglar

2.  “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

I’m with Steve on this one. Your heart really does know what you want and when you trust your intuition your someday thinking doesn’t stand a chance.

3.  “Someday is now.” – Gaddy Bergmann

4.  “Life’s greatest tragedy is not that it will someday end, but that most only live to follow directions and sometimes we end up totally lost.” – Alex Gaskarth

This one breaks my heart and it’s why I do the work I do.

5.  “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” – Mark Twain

You know how I feel about regrets right? Do what you need to do to NOT have them.

6.  “There are only 7 days in the week & “someday” is not one of them.” –Rita Chand

Rita is someone who lives life out loud, going after her dreams in a way that leaves someday thinking in the dust. Who do you have in your life that inspires and motivates you to action?

7.  “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs

Whose life are you living? Parents, teachers, mentors – all can inspire but they can also pull you away from your calling. Start listening to your heart instead of the voices around you. It knows. Continue reading →

Where Your Heart Is, There You Will Find Your Treasure

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.

 

Whether he meant them to be or not, when my father-in-law threw these items into the box at the back of his closet they took on new meaning. Did he ever think that one day I would go through the box and wonder?

For I did wonder at these treasures.

Why had he kept them? What meaning did they hold? What did they tell me about this man I loved and admired?

And so I examined Malcolm’s treasures.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” – Paulo Coelho

They spoke to me of a life of curiousity and passion, a life of many and varied interests. They spoke to me of values.

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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 22 Conversations

 

When you look in the mirror what do you see?

Some days it’s not easy.

You look at your reflection in the mirror and feel an onslaught of thoughts, many of them negative as the lizard brain sings its song of seduction.

Maybe you barely look, glancing just long enough to comb your hair, brush your teeth or apply make-up.

Or maybe you use one of those scary magnifying mirrors so that all you can see are your parts.

eyes. . .brows. . .nose. . .ears. . .lips. . .teeth. . .skin. . . limbs

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?” – Rumi

And you are irritated by those parts; the ones you judge and assess, or compare against others.

 

Do you ever really see YOU?

Some days it’s not easy.

I know. I get it. But I have a different view.

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Replace Your Fear

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 20 Conversations

It’s time for a wake-up call.

Do you really need to have a health crisis or extreme emergency before pursuing what you want in life?

Many people live that way; it’s normal and common, but do you want to live that way?

Is it really that important to stay safe, look good, and maintain the status quo? None of those things are making you happy or fulfilling your dreams so why are they still getting so much air time?

If I could reach through the screen and give you a nudge I would. Because I’m passionate about living without regrets. And while this may seem like a rant, bear with me – I’m committed to something and I want to make sure you know it.

I’m committed to living out loud, as fully and as authentically as I can and sometimes that gets messy.

I’m OK with messy, and I’ll admit I even like to stir things up.

Occasionally someone will suggest I tone it down a bit (Do you really need to say those things, Sandi?) and sure, I could, but I don’t want to live that way.

I don’t want to live a toned down life, and I don’t think you do either.

Life gets messy. It’ll never be perfect. You’ll never get it all handled. And so what.

I’m not saying it’s easy. Some days I want to throw in the towel and take the easy path just as much if not more than you do.

But the truth is the easy path bores me to tears.

It’s not why we’re here.

I’m talking to you…the one who’s wasting your genius in that life-sucking job.

And you…the one oozing creativity in everything you do except for your work.

And you…the one who daydreams of living a life you love.

Someday. Maybe. Can you hear the death bell toll?

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The Space in Between

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

 

Space. 

Vast and immeasurable, but not out there.

A space unlike any other.

A space not yet clear.

Not like the space that shows up reliably every January; a space that compels you to think of what you want for your life.

And not like the space of completion; an invitation to look back, reviewing and learning from what’s been.

This is the space in between – the unexamined field.

sitting on the beach in West VancouverAs often happens when I begin to explore an idea that’s been niggling at me, it seems to show up everywhere.

First, in my research on lightning, I learned there’s a word for the space between the moment you see lightning and when you hear the thunder -svaha – a word of mysterious origin, some say Native American, I say intriguing.

Then the space of anticipation, waiting for the first prompt of the year-long adventure A Year with Myself, and a question from Patti Digh that took me by surprise:

What spaces are you standing between?

When was the last time you thought about the space in between?

I let the question sink in until the hair on the back of my neck stood up, the magic of the prompt working its way through my consciousness.

The space in between.

Think of the times you’ve been uncertain or the moments of discomfort as you stretched way beyond what you know.

In between.

Did you rush to step into a more familiar, tried and true space or or pull back paralyzed by fear?

What is so terrifying about the space in between?

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The Death of Someday

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 37 Conversations


Day 28 – Vocabulary

If you could eliminate one word from your brain forever—what would it be?

If you’ve read anything I’ve written the past year or even just my online bio, you’ll know that the word I’d eliminate is someday.

some·day

– at some unspecified time in the (distant) future

How I detest that word.

It lets you off the hook, not responsible for your life and makes me cringe with distaste. It calls to mind a funeral I attended a few years ago.

I saw people cry, full of regrets for what might have been with the deceased. I heard people make promises of how it would be different, maybe not right then and there, but someday.

Those promises? Soon forgotten.

St. Boniface cemetery, Winnipeg, Manitoba

I’m not immune to someday.

Everyone falls prey to it sometimes and I’ve had my periods of inaction and stuckness. I’ve also kicked my someday thinking to the curb on many occasions:

  • Someday I’ll be more athletic. ==> I ran a half marathon at 34, one year after knee surgery.
  • Someday I’ll figure out what I want to be when I grow up. ==>I found my calling as a coach at 37, and a new calling as a writer at 47.
  • Someday I’ll write a book, even though I’m still not sure of the topic. ==> 2012 is the year this will happen.

Someday is a dream killer.

It will kill your dreams in a heartbeat if you let it. These 3 tips can help you avoid that regretful outcome!

 

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