coaching

The Art of 3D Living

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 8 Conversations

 

3D usually refers to something having three dimensions, ie: width, length and depth.

I’m using 3D to refer to three aspects of life that aren’t usually thrown together. I found myself falling down the rabbit hole exploring them and how you can use them to have a more vibrant 3D experience of life.

3D Living = Death + Dreams + Delight

3D glasses

Death comes knocking when you least expect it, the mother of all wake up calls.

Dreams have a life of their own, sometimes existing in the least hospitable environments.

Delight can happen in any moment of any day, catching your breath, catching you off guard.

Do you live as though you have choice with these three seemingly unrelated bedfellows or do you more often than not find yourself living as a victim of life’s circumstances?

 

1D – Death

You act like you’ll live forever, avoiding the topic of death at all costs.

This looks like head in the sand, someday thinking which usually at some point turns into a litany of why you can’t have what you want.

  • Someday. . . I’m going to have my own business, and then I’ll have the money and freedom to live the way I really want BUT right now, I’m stuck at a job I hate with a boss I hate even more and I can’t quit because I’ve got a mortgage, kids, debt, etc.

OR

  • Someday…(this used to be one of my faves) when I meet the right person I’m going to have the most amazing relationship and I’ve done all this personal development work and I’ll be ready BUT not right now because I should probably lose some weight and buy a new wardrobe first.

You get the gist right? Someday… maybe…when the time is right, but not now.

It’s about all the amazing things you’ll do when. . . . . . . . . . {fill in the blank}.

The part you need to shake up is that part of you that’s not willing to be responsible for taking the actions required. Picture a child, fingers in their ears, singing “lalalalalalalalalalala” loudly to drown out reality.

Heads-up: Living in lala-land leads to a life of regrets.

Put on your 3D glasses and look at death from a different perspective.

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Because Deathbed Regrets Suck

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 16 Conversations

 

Dear One,

I couldn’t sleep last night.

Someone I know died last week, a friend of the family. I didn’t know her all that well, but every time I saw her, every interaction I had with her left me feeling appreciated and acknowledged.

She was so very present, her face lighting up when she saw you. She smiled big, from deep within and seemed to squeeze the joy out of life.

I don’t even know what she accomplished in life. It’s how she lived and how she left people feeling that was extraordinary.

I thought of her last night, her death yet another wake up call.

It got me thinking about life, and how you stop yourself from really living.

I know you know what I’m talking about.

Surviving is not the same as living.

It’s actually quite easy to survive, to live with all the things you’re tolerating and all the ways you’ve suppressed yourself.

But your dreams and desires for this life?

Where do they exist amidst the toleration and survival?

Maybe you talk about them a lot, but because you rarely take action you sound like the boy who cried wolf.

Maybe you write about them…at night, in your journal, when no one’s looking.

You keep them safe and locked away.

And love. Sweet, sweet soul-nourishing love.

What about it? Do you share your love, expressing it freely?

Or do you save it for the ‘appropriate’ time.

What are you waiting for?

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It’s All In Your Perspective

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 4 Conversations

 

Ever wonder how to shift your perspective?

It’s not rocket science as you’re about to discover.

Look at this image.

Sky & clouds reflected in glass sculpture

What do you see?

How does it make you feel?

What sounds come to mind, if any?

What’s the story you’re already making up about the image?

Truth is, it’s a photo my husband took of a sculpture in downtown Vancouver recently. I’m pretty sure I’ve walked by it numerous times and yet . . .

When I saw the image I had no idea where it was or even what it was.

The perspective was so shockingly different that it had my mind go blank.

Now think about your life.

How often does this happen, affecting your,

  • behaviour
  • relationships
  • communication?

How often do you find yourself creating a drama worthy of the afternoon soaps?

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The Humanity of Needs

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 11 Conversations

Mural & graffiti wall Portland Oregon

According to Anthony Robbins, human beings have six basic human needs:

Certainty – to be comfortable and avoid pain

Variety – to have stimulus, change and surprise in your life

Significance – to feel special and worthy of attention

Connection & Love – to feel connected and loving, of yourself and others

Growth – to feel fully alive and continually growing

Contribution – to contribute beyond yourself, creating meaning and serving the greater good

We all have these same needs, we just get them met in different ways, both positive and negative.

For example:

You can meet your need for certainty by deciding to believe in yourself OR deciding to never leave your house again. Yes, both those decisions meet the need.

This happens all the time and explains why we so often begin things only to sabotage and lead ourselves to failure. I think that’s also when your lizard brain makes itself known!

Anything you find difficult but love to do, you can bet it’s because some of these needs are being met.

And when you have a sense that taking an action will meet many of your needs, you’re more likely to follow through.

On the flip side, if there’s something you put off, ignore or avoid doing, it’s because how you currently think of it causes a feeling of lack, that it won’t fulfill any of your needs.

Here’s the interesting thing about these needs –

Anything you do can meet ALL of these needs if you change your perception (what you notice and/or believe) or your strategy (how you get it done). More on that in a future post.

It all starts with awareness.

You’ve got to become aware of not just what you’re doing, but why you’re doing it. This awareness can then lead to a new strategy to fulfill on what you want in life.

What if for one week you simply noticed how your needs show up?

Nothing to do, nothing to fix.

Just notice.

 

Over to you:

  • Which of the six needs do you focus on most?
  • What do you do to meet that need?
  • What do you make it mean that you focus on that need?
  • And what if it didn’t mean that at all?

 

 

Playing the Game of Love

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 9 Conversations

What’s this talk of a game?

Call me crazy, but I think love is a game.

And like all games, how you play makes all the difference.

Before we get into the “rules”, let me share a bit of my story and what changed my thoughts on love.

You see, my heart was broken once, long ago.

So very broken.

It felt irreparable and I believed that life would never be the same.

And it wouldn’t be the same. Ever.

How could it be?

No matter how hard you try to repair something, it can never be what it once was.

That’s not to say it can’t be better, but I never thought of it that way all those years ago.

I simply felt damaged. Broken beyond repair.

Jasmine Lamb says, “Most of us long for love, look out for love, worry we are too late for love, but not enough of us live love.”

Jasmine is so very right.

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Starbursts, Sirens and Siriously Shining

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 63 Conversations

 

Fear doesn’t stop you. YOU stop you.

 

I’ve wanted to write this post since my father-in-law’s sudden death, but the wanting was tinged with fear.

Fear that you would be put off, not get my point or worse, ignore me all together.

I’ve been headed in this direction for some time, but I’ve allowed fear to slow my steps.

Then death jolted me out of my comfort zone.

“You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.” – Joan Baez

So it’s time to call bullshit…

You live like there’s someday.

You live like you have all the time in the world to pursue your dreams and follow your passions.

Plenty of time to shine… later.

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Start Stopping Now

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 19 Conversations

 

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is STOP.

I know this may be a challenge for some of you who are still obsessing about your new year’s resolutions. That’s the first thing you can stop.

Then consider your life if you were to stop these four…

  • Stop over-promising.
  • Stop beating yourself up.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others.
  • Stop doing those things that feel like obligations.

Just stop.

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Nothing But the Facts

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 18 Conversations

 

Coaching – 57,800,000 results according to Google.

Welcome to the world of coaching in 2011.

Ten years ago? I’d get the blank stare, followed by a hesitant, “What sport do you coach?”

Now? Coaches are everywhere. The Internet is full of them. It’s the newest, most all encompassing trend there is and if you spend any amount of time online you’ll discover quickly that every Tom, Dick and Harry is now calling themselves a a coach.

But what exactly does that mean?

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How to Stop Singing the Blues

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 15 Conversations

 

You’re on top of the world, feeling good and life blindsides you.

What do you do?

Do you pick yourself up right away and move onto the next task at hand?

Or do you sing your own personal version of the blues?

We’ve all been down that road. But what I’m curious about is how you get through it. Just to be clear, I’m not saying there’s one right way to get through it.

On the contrary.

What works for you may not work for someone else, even when you have a similar issue.

So how do you know what will work?

Experimentation and good ol’ fashioned research! Over the years I’ve tried numerous ways to get myself through it when the blues come out of nowhere and pull me in!

While it’s not always easy to coach yourself (in fact, sometimes it’s nearly impossible!) the more tools you have in your toolkit, the more resourceful you’ll become over time. Not quite the same as having your own coach on speed dial, but in a pinch, self coaching can make enough of a difference to get you heading in the right direction.

If you’re like me, there are times in life when you can still be knocked off kilter when things don’t go the way you’d planned, and head into a tail-spin of “Lady Sings the Blues!”

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