Vagabondage

Creating Space for the Holidays

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 6 Conversations

 

The Vagabondage Series:  Wherein Elana creates space and lets the holidays in.

 

If you’re reading this, you made it through the recent Black Friday holiday shopping frenzy. Congratulations. If you participated, you have my admiration for surviving it, and if you didn’t, you have my admiration for choosing not to.

Whether you’re celebrating Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or La Posada, the holidays are a busy stretch of rituals, drunk uncles, symbolism, and festivity. Although, in recent years, the winter holiday season has become less synonymous with its original meaning  and more reminiscent of a feverish 30-day shopping extravaganza. Malls and boutiques are crawling with people and lousy with so-called bargains. Advertising and marketing departments spare no tactics or expense with glitzy, over-the-top commercial and print ads featuring the hottest electronics, cosmetics, fashion, food, and all manner of tchotchkes.

But you know that isn’t what it’s all about, right? Continue reading →

Disarming the Critic

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 1 Conversation

 

The Vagabondage Series:  Elana Baxter on lizard busting.

 

I recently became aware of just how much and how often my inner critic pipes up to tell me how badly I am doing things. How much better, more productive, kinder, and more __________I need to be.

black and white image of hand holding cup with word critic on it

And when the critic isn’t telling me that, it’s attacking my body, eating habits, parenting, cooking and cleaning.

Be more!

Do more!

It’s a constant rant punctuated only briefly by sneaks of quiet.

I have come to the only sane conclusion that a woman experiencing this incessant haranguing can. . .

The inner critic must die or at the very least it must be sedated. Heavily.

I am tired of beating the shit out of myself. Every ounce of energy spent hating on myself, nitpicking, correcting, disallowing and crapping down my own throat!

I can’t get that energy back. And I can’t get the time back.

It’s gone. Forever.

Here’s what I do in order to allow some space and begin showing myself some love and compassion.

I disarm the voice.

You know the voice, right?

Continue reading →

Sticky Stories and the Lizard That Stops Us

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 6 Conversations

 

The Vagabondage Series:  Elana Baxter on escaping the comfort zone.

 

We all have weaknesses and not just one or two.

Some of mine include English period films, glossy magazines, gossip sites and espresso. But there’s one weakness I’ve yet to divulge until today.

Worksheets.

I know, a bit anticlimactic and not even a bit risqué. But nevertheless, I have a soft spot for worksheets.

So when my coach told me she would be sending some along – not one, but some – I was ready to dive in and start neatly answering all of the questions, eager to ponder each one with focused consideration.

Then they came.

After the initial introduction discussing my favourite subjects – ideal work and living a life you love – I hurried to the next section to begin. That’s when the can of worms began to squirm uncomfortably.

List what you dreamed of as a child seemed a simple enough statement. I could do that. Plus, I’d been instructed to slap a roll of duct tape on the lizard brain in order to do the work and just write whatever felt right and true. I resolved to quietly ignore the squirming worms and move on.

Visions and memories of dancing, singing, writing, drawing, painting, playing music – they all came to the surface. I looked at my answers. All silent contemplation went up in flames. The worms started a full-fledged riot, apparently not happy in their can and my lizard brain had removed the duct tape muzzle (lizards are tricky little bastards).

I can’t dance now! I’m too old.

Singing? There’s no time for s i n g i n g!

Painting?!! Now you’re really talking a fine tune right out of your ass lady!

And so on.

Every joyous memory and hopeful vision, dismantled by the lizard and a chorus of obnoxious worms with a story to tell.

Continue reading →

Quieting the Voices

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 11 Conversations

 

The Vagabondage Series:  Wherein Elana Baxter slams the door on her own personal kryptonite!

 

Over the last week, I’ve been engaged in a form of mental hand to hand combat.

With whom you might be asking. . .

Some of the sneakiest, most crippling villains shadowing the psyches of folks everywhere as we do our best to show up, don our superhero capes and fly out into the open air to rally for a sweet, satisfaction-filled life.

Bert and Ernie dolls

You and I know them well. They are the kryptonite of action, the Achilles heel of focused intention, and the chocolate espresso cheesecake slyly beckoning from a pastry case after a long, tough day.

Allow me to introduce my UnFab Five, a.k.a. the saboteurs of

  • overwhelm
  • judgement
  • perfectionism
  • impatience
  • lack of integrity

I’ve met each of these bad boys and we know each other intimately. Recently, I had the chance to chat with all of them and here for your viewing pleasure are the outtakes:

Continue reading →

The Myth of the Reveal

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 10 Conversations

 

The Vagabondage Series:  Elana Baxter steps out from behind the curtain.

 

I have jumped out of a plane, landing safely in a world of wonder. My head is on straight, and my eyes are open. The limbic lizard previously in charge of the first half of my life has been usurped by a common sense check-in system (Value-O-Meter) that informs me when I’m on or off course. 

When the lizard begins to interfere, I check in with reality: we look deeply into each other’s eyes over espresso and all is well with the world. Every day is an opportunity to practice what I’ve learned about myself and what works for me. In other words, I am doing the work  that matters and the work that delivers results.

So now what?

The Reveal and the Real

I spend a bit of leisure time indulging in something I cringe to confess, but since I’m out here with my soul flayed like a boneless chicken breast here goes: I watch reality television, in particular the makeover and weight loss themes (hides head under tablecloth).

biggest loser tv show finaleI haven’t logged huge quantities of time watching the stuff, but I do enjoy it in controlled doses. Now, the thing about the cruelly ironic reality that is so expertly created on programs like the Extreme Makeover franchise or Biggest Loser, and what makes it so addictive and illusory, is that it always delivers.

Continue reading →