Gloria Steinem said, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”
Which one of these truths just reached out and nailed you?
That’s where your work is.
Coaching
Words That Touch the Soul
Words matter.
The ones you choose create your reality.
Does your reality energize or drain you?
Which words touch your soul? And why?
“It is important that you say what you mean to say. Time is too short. You must speak the words that matter.” ― Kate DiCamillo
Words inspire me as I begin this year of living 50, some more than others. . .
Words matter.
They can lift you up or bring you down in a heartbeat.
Breathe. . .a word that puts me in the present moment without judgment.
Silence. . .a word that creates the space that nourishes me deeply and reliably.
Too. . .a small word; only three letters but it can do so much damage.
Too much, too intense, too loud, too passionate (really? how is that even possible?)
Other words reach out and touch my soul.
Spirit. Radiance. Strength. Depth. Om.
They resonate, like a Tibetan bowl, leaving an impact long after they’re gone.
I don’t know how that happens; I’m just so grateful that it does.
Words matter.
They create your world.
A world that nourishes and supports your dreams.
Or. . .
A world that can weigh you down with its heaviness.
Your words matter.
The words you choose create a story that then becomes your future.
They create your life.
So choose wisely.
“It’s all invented anyway, so we might as well invent a story or framework of meaning that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us.” – Benjamin Zander
Which words would inspire the legend of how you lived your life?
The Year of Living 50
People keep asking me if I’m freaked out about turning 50 this year. I’m not really, although perhaps a wee bit surprised by some of the thoughts going through my mind.
I mean, turning 50 really is the mother of all wake-up calls!
And I’ve caught myself thinking about all the things I still want to be, do and have in my life.
All the things I want to create and share.
All the ways I want to open further, deeper, more fully.
All the hugs still to give, kisses to be savoured, and well. . .you get the point.
Those are the things I’m putting my attention on as I begin living my fiftieth year.
Not the 50 lessons I may or may not have learned.
Not 50 tips to look and feel good at 50 (although all this juicing and healthy living looks good on me!)
No tips, lessons, or strategies.
Instead, I’m choosing to open.
Because we do have a choice; to open or to close ourselves off.
One is energizing and risky. The other is tight, and oh so painfully safe.
I get to choose. And so do you.
Tuning Into Wisdom
I had a dream last night.
And in that dream a wise woman I’ve long admired was in my home, a sleep-over planned.
Pajamas, soul-satisfying conversations and laughter all present and accounted for.
It was the most perfect of nights, until that moment I asked the question closest to my heart.
She closed her eyes, deep in thought…then plumped up her pillow and pinned me with a look.
“You’ll figure it out. Trust yourself.”
And with that profound statement, she turned over and fell fast asleep.
I awoke with a start; the clock blinked 4:14 a.m.
On the fourteenth day of the fourth month 2013 I will turn 50 years old.
My wise woman is right.
I can trust myself.
And so can you.
A Sea of Awareness
Not asleep, not quite awake,
such is the magic of yoga nidra.
I heard the question,
“What is your heart longing for?”
I let myself sink. . .
into a longing
where no words lived.
And there in that liminal space
I explored a new world.
Suspended in a sea of awareness.
Invoking the Rebel
Back in my art school days, there were always students trying to emulate the über cool New York art scene. Their clothes, their attitudes, and most especially their art cried out, “Look at how arty and cool we are!”
I laughed because somehow I knew that trying so hard to look cool and be a rebel did not a rebel make.
One of our professors used to tell us often,
“You’ve got to know the rules to break the rules.”
Their mindset however was more “break the rules to break the rules” or rebellion for its own sake.
It seemed a superficial rebellion, and I wasn’t interested in that.
So I kept my head down and did things my way. I didn’t waste my time fighting against them or the ‘rules’ but instead focused my time and energy on what I wanted.
I became a covert rebel, flying under the radar, free to do what I wanted and it worked pretty well.
Fast forward to present day; I’m in the midst of rebranding and it’s not an easy process. In a way, it feels like I’m rebranding my life, not just my business.
You see, I’m about to turn 50 and while there’s no midlife crisis happening, there is a transformation in process and what’s coming up everywhere I look is the rebel.
Could it be at the golden age of 50 it finally feels right, and even necessary, to lead the rebellion?
My rebel’s always been there, in charge and committed to living my core values of freedom and integrity, but is it time for her to step out and into the spotlight?
“A little rebellion now and then is a good thing.” – Thomas Jefferson
And then I found myself wondering if we all have a rebel inside.
So I asked this question in my communities. . .
What does it mean to you personally to be a rebel?
Here’s what I heard in response:
Being a rebel means,
- following my own nose instead of the crowd’s nose
- being myself and following my own rules
- being me, not who they think I should be
- acting from my place of being, not the societal standard
- being willing to question, disagree, and choose a different path
- it’s about integrity, showing up with all my values intact
- living in what I want instead of what society tells me I should want
- making my own rules, always checking in to see if my values and integrity are in line
- moving beyond the social norms, the shoulds, etc.
- listening to inner guidance instead of outside rules
- living life truthfully
- having the guts and tenacity to go after my dreams
- letting my quirky freak flag fly
I was moved by the vulnerability and courage of these thoughts, and it seemed more true than ever that we all have a rebel inside.
“With rebellion, awareness is born.” – Albert Camus
Hungry for Rebellion
“Being yourself, being who you are,
is a successful rebellion.” – Unknown
Brene Brown says,
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of everything we are hungry for.”
A rebel is the embodiment of this, taking a stand for what’s important, what they hunger for.
It’s contrary to the widely held view that a rebel fights against something.
Instead it’s the fight for something that fuels their fire.
With so much pressure to confirm, has your rebel become dormant?
Suppressed and shut down by the push to:
- go with the flow
- never rock the boat
- be seen and not heard
- keep your head down and stay safe
The primal fear of being kicked out of the tribe is powerful. We do so want to belong, but at what cost?
The cost is that you sell out on what you desire, what you most hunger for in life.
It’s a cost that eats away at your soul.
Do it long enough and you hardly notice. . .
Until one day someone speaks of rebellion in a new way and your ears perk up. Your heart flutters, the spark comes to life, rekindled as the old way is challenged.
That day has come.
I’m asking you to see yourself as a rebel, a *deva-lutionary willing to question the beliefs that have long kept you in the dark.
It’s time to wake up, to rebel, to become relentless in this pursuit.
You can do this.
* A deva-lutionary is committed to questioning the beliefs that have kept her in the dark. She changes the world by looking inward, igniting a revolution from the inside out. She rebels for that which is important to her, not for the sake of rebellion itself.
A deva-lutionary has the heart and courage to be herself without apology, a warrior willing to do what it takes to play in the light.
A World Without Maps
“All I ever wanted was a world without maps.” – Michael Ondaatje
Notice the Good
“I have noticed that people are dealing too much with the negative, with what is wrong… Why not try the other way, to see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?” – Thich Nhat Hanh
I’ve put my attention on noticing the good.
This noticing gives me a different feeling than the practice of gratitude.
Like a shiver running up my spine. Or a tingle of delight.
Gratitude often feels forced, like something I should do.
Yes, I know it makes a difference.
Wait…does it make a difference if it feels like a should?
Not so much.
I want a practice that feels real.
One that feels human, and connective. Satisfying.
And simple.
I don’t need a list of instructions:
- do it first thing in the morning
- no wait, do it before bed
- write it down
- meditate on it
- share it
- no wait, keep it to yourself
- savour it
- be authentic
- no wait, list 5 things every single day
I just want it to feel good.
I want to look around and notice the goodness of life, as if I were wearing good-coloured glasses.
Like a child playing “I spy with my little eye.”
I notice the good. . .
- that first sip of coffee in the morning
- a whiff of spring in the air
- connecting with a stranger
- a heartfelt thank you
- the love bombs that come and go
- that not-quite-asleep-am-I-meditating-or-dreaming state
- closeness, connection, comfort
Noticing the good feels good.
It’s healing, and like a meditation practice simpler than you think.
When you notice what’s working, what’s inspiring, what’s enjoyable – your experience of it expands.
Noticing is an inside job. That makes a difference when you let it out.
So I’m noticing. And practicing, because sometimes the simple practices are the most challenging.
Keeping it simple, keeping it real.
Noticing the good.
Leaning Into Discomfort
Welcome to the discomfort zone.
A place you visit infrequently for all too short periods of time.
Today however, we’re going to get comfortable with discomfort.
Is that even possible?
It absolutely is when you lean into discomfort instead of resisting.
It takes leaning into it intentionally because mostly, we’ll do anything to avoid discomfort.
“Discomfort means you’re doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they’re hiding out in the comfortable zone.” – Seth Godin
Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.”
I say discomfort is a result of doing something new.
Every time you say yes to something new, discomfort arises.
And resistance is never far behind.
Your resistance will look like reasons:
- why you shouldn’t move forward
- why it was a bad idea in the first place
- why you should go back to what you were doing before.
So many reasons lulling you to sleep and inaction.
Your lizard brain is like that; it will say anything to get you to stop.
Except, you keep having these thoughts and dreams. . .
Dreams so wondrous they make your heart race.
Trust those dreams, and yourself to take the next step.