Coaching

10 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Coaching (and Life)

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 33 Conversations

 

When I began coaching almost 10 years ago, it was common for people to ask, “What sport?”

These days more people know about coaching but here’s what I’ve been hearing in conversations – they don’t necessarily know how to use it or apply it to what they’re up to in life.

It’s like when you buy a gadget (I’m sure I’m not the only one with a drawer full of kitchen gagdets, right?)

You think it’s awesome and you impulsively buy it. You get the awesome thing home and then…you forget about it. By the time you do pick it up again, you have completely forgotten what it’s for or how to use it.

Coaching is a bit like that. I’ve had clients hire me all excited to begin pursuing a dream, only to change their mind, succumb to their doubts and fears (hello lizard brain) and forget all about it.

Just like that gagdet in the drawer.

You didn’t really want to write that book, run that marathon, build that business did you?

YES, you did. And I think you still do so let’s pull your dream out of that drawer, shall we?

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Burning Down the House

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 24 Conversations

 

Late last night the fire alarm went off in our building, startling me out of my not-quite-asleep state. We’ve had numerous false alarms in the three years we’ve lived here, which usually end up being a quick hello with the neighbours.

Last night was different.

It was like an episode of Rescue Me, only I didn’t see Dennis Leary anywhere.

Mark and I got up, moving rather slowly, thinking it was probably just another false alarm. Then we saw the flames on the rooftop on the other side of the building and the adrenalin kicked in.

In my pajamas, I grabbed my wallet and iPhone as someone pounded on our door to leave. My heart started racing.

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If I Could Say Anything

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 85 Conversations

 

We need to talk.

If we were dating, it’d be time to fess up (I’m on a roll, this is my second confession this week) and that scares me.

Since we started seeing each other four months ago (has it really only been 4 months?) I’ve been wanting to make a good impression, wanting to show you my best.

Except…

What I thought was my best was not.

Likable, nice, funny, smart – check.

My best? Not so much.

I’m saying this because I’ve had moments of:

  • biting my tongue
  • suppressing myself
  • ignoring my instincts
  • sweeping a thought under the rug

I have stopped myself in so many ways from saying what I wanted to say. But enough is enough; this can’t go on.

If I could say anything, I’d say what I wanted to say, straight up.

I’ve been afraid.

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The ABC’s of Back-to-School

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 13 Conversations

 

I have always loved back-to-school energy. I was a keener when I was young and loved everything about this time of year: new clothes, new teachers and yes, new school supplies!

The energy of starting fresh was a high, and I couldn’t wait to get back and get going.

I’m an adult now, and guess what? Not much has changed!

What if we had access to that kind of energy more consistently in life?

What if that energy could fuel our dreams?

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My-12-year-Self and I

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 59 Conversations

 

Today was one of those days; an emotional roller coaster kind of day. Yes, coaches have those days too and yes, I still beat myself up about it.

I’m human you see. And truth be told, I’m a wee bit arrogant (I can’t help it I’m an Aries) and this lead to buying into my own story.

After years of education and training, personal development work, numerous courses, programs, CDs, books and thousands of dollars, I really believed. . .

wait for it. . .

that my life should be handled by now.  The roller coaster should have morphed into a journey of smooth sailing.

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Knowing the Power of Your Strengths

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 22 Conversations

 

When something intrigues me I just have to know more.

This really is not that surprising when you find out that my top strength is curiousity.

Authentic Happiness is an amazing site (be prepared; you could lose hours there) and the home of the positive psychology movement.  It offers up a wealth of information and free assessments such as the Signature Strengths test. Whether you call them values, strengths or virtues, this test is eye-opening.

“The good life consists in deriving happiness by using your signature strengths every day in the main realms of living.” – Martin Seligman, from Authentic Happiness

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Fuck the Lizard Brain

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 89 Conversations

My lizard brain is saying:

Don’t do it! Don’t blow your momentum. . .

  • with a silly post
  • by swearing
  • lots of other crazy, lizardy chatter

Fuck the lizard brain.

Since launching this blog life has been intense. Taking on the 31 Day Build a Better Blog challenge added fuel to the fire already burning and it was getting HOT!

So my guy and I packed a picnic dinner and headed down to the beach with our books. Continue reading →

5 Steps to Managing Your Lizard Brain

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 33 Conversations

No matter how much personal development work you’ve done, no matter how many self-help books you’ve read, there’s one thing you need to know…

Salamander: photo credit - Mark Faviell

This little fella ain’t never going away!

 

Your lizard brain is never going away and it’s never going to shut up.

It’s there for your survival and we’re still here as a species so it must be doing something right. Thing is, survival isn’t what it used to be.

Our Neanderthal ancestors? They had to deal with survival; saber tooth tigers and warring tribes were a real threat! That you’re afraid to try something new and step out of your comfort zone – not so much.

So if it’s never going away and never shutting up, just how do you manage this ancient, survival driven part of your brain?

1. Talk to it

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” – Anthony de Mello

Start questioning it! One of the best ways I’ve found to talk to the lizard brain is through The Work, a process created by Byron Katie. It’s a process of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the fear that trigger your lizard brain.

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Living in the Questions

Posted on by Sandi Amorim 33 Conversations

 

When I started blogging I declared somewhat boldly that I had come up with a theme, a road map of where I was headed. It was all well and good to begin just to begin (thanks to guru Seth and his call to action), but I’d begun questioning my Why.

Why do it? Why put myself out there? Why take the risk?

As the doubts began to creep in, I decided to return to my tribe – who I love and trust much more than my lizard brain – and what they told me was this:

I’m relentlessly curious, a life-long learner and I’ve got more questions up my sleeve than Houdini!

It’s so damn easy to forget who I really am when LB starts whispering in my ear.

It blows my mind that somehow I stumbled upon the profession of coaching and had the biggest insight of my life:  this is what I’m supposed to be when I grow up!

What a relief to finally know and begin using my strengths rather than wondering why I had them! Up until then no J.O.B. had fit the bill and I constantly felt like a round peg in a square hole.

It’s been said when you know your Why, anything is possible.

My Why was so big (honouring my values of growth, learning and contribution) and so loud that it drowned out my lizard brain long enough that I could take the first steps, and then the next.

It took something to keep my word, writing and posting – shipping – every week. I began by really getting into the questions. I jotted down questions that worked with clients; questions I overheard; questions we usually don’t have the courage to ask ourselves.

Then I read How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci. In this very cool, yet practical guide Michael Gelb invites us to begin training our vast untapped resources to start thinking like Leonardo.

Is it really possible to think like a Renaissance genius?

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