Don’t do it! Don’t blow your momentum. . .
Fuck the lizard brain.
Since launching this blog life has been intense. Taking on the 31 Day Build a Better Blog challenge added fuel to the fire already burning and it was getting HOT!
So my guy and I packed a picnic dinner and headed down to the beach with our books. Continue reading
No matter how much personal development work you’ve done, no matter how many self-help books you’ve read, there’s one thing you need to know…
This little fella ain’t never going away!
Your lizard brain is never going away and it’s never going to shut up.
It’s there for your survival and we’re still here as a species so it must be doing something right. Thing is, survival isn’t what it used to be.
Our Neanderthal ancestors? They had to deal with survival; saber tooth tigers and warring tribes were a real threat! That you’re afraid to try something new and step out of your comfort zone – not so much.
So if it’s never going away and never shutting up, just how do you manage this ancient, survival driven part of your brain?
Start questioning it! One of the best ways I’ve found to talk to the lizard brain is through The Work, a process created by Byron Katie. It’s a process of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the fear that trigger your lizard brain.
When I started blogging I declared somewhat boldly that I had come up with a theme, a road map of where I was headed. It was all well and good to begin just to begin (thanks to guru Seth and his call to action), but I’d begun questioning my Why.
Why do it? Why put myself out there? Why take the risk?
As the doubts began to creep in, I decided to return to my tribe – who I love and trust much more than my lizard brain – and what they told me was this:
I’m relentlessly curious, a life-long learner and I’ve got more questions up my sleeve than Houdini!
It’s so damn easy to forget who I really am when LB starts whispering in my ear.
It blows my mind that somehow I stumbled upon the profession of coaching and had the biggest insight of my life: this is what I’m supposed to be when I grow up!
What a relief to finally know and begin using my strengths rather than wondering why I had them! Up until then no J.O.B. had fit the bill and I constantly felt like a round peg in a square hole.
My Why was so big (honouring my values of growth, learning and contribution) and so loud that it drowned out my lizard brain long enough that I could take the first steps, and then the next.
It took something to keep my word, writing and posting – shipping – every week. I began by really getting into the questions. I jotted down questions that worked with clients; questions I overheard; questions we usually don’t have the courage to ask ourselves.
Then I read How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci. In this very cool, yet practical guide Michael Gelb invites us to begin training our vast untapped resources to start thinking like Leonardo.
This post comes to you from a rather unusual location; I wrote it sitting at a pub surrounded by men, beer and a good deal of testosterone.
World Cup fever grabbed hold of my husband and on Friday he asked if I would please spend a part of our day off together in front of a big screen watching the England vs. Algeria match.
As the game got under way, and I glanced around the pub, this question came to mind:
What’s important?
Many of the fans wore the bright red of the English team. My husband Mark, suddenly overcome by a desire to show his support, impulsively bought himself a jersey, instantly branding himself a member of the English tribe.
Fanatic – a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal, as in religion or politics
The servers even wore specially made T-shirts that read,“It’s not soccer, it’s football, you wanker!”
To those fans, in that pub…the answer to what’s important was obvious.
To me, the answer to the question”What’s important?” was spending time with Mark, even if it meant turning my back on work and doing something that was not on my top 10 list of things to do on my day off.
I’ve spent the past couple of months in the Life Lab (doesn’t life occur as an experiment a lot of the time?). I’ve been re-examining all aspects of my life and business, noticing my reactions, managing my emotions and asking myself a lot of questions.
It’s all about the questions (more on that later).
Do you know the 80/20 rule?
In the 19th century, an Italian economist and sociologist, Vilfredo Pareto, noticed that 80% of the wealth in Italy was held by 20% of the population. He then went on to demonstrate this to be true in other countries as well. Since Pareto’s time, this rule has been found to be true in virtually any area:
The only way to really see the 80/20 rule is to step back and look at the bigger picture, the larger perspective. When you first do this it’s mind blowing; there’s nothing quite like seeing things clearly. Seeing the forest rather than the trees!
If you don’t know what the big picture is, how can you make decisions that will lead you to your desired outcome?
Life flows, day after day and mostly we go along with it, don’t we?
I know I do. I go with the flow, become complacent, and forget that I always have choices. I listen to my lizard brain whispering seductively, “Don’t rock the boat, Sandi. Just relax.”
But what if I did rock the boat? What if YOU did?
What if one day, we stood up and intentionally put our weight into rocking the hell out of the boat?
What might happen and what’s going to be the wake up call to do just that?
I just spent an amazing weekend with a friend.
Whether we were creating goals over coffee in my living room, or out on the town, we experienced a connection and rapport that left me feeling deep gratitude.
You know the kind of great time that leaves you tired from bouts of laughing, late night chats and conversations for world domination?
Like that.
We consciously set an intention to get together for the purpose of brainstorming, creating and inspiring each other to take on some big-time goals in our lives and businesses. Because we live in different cities and we know how easy it is to stall when we’re on our own again, we created a structure to support each other.
It was seriously a productive, energizing weekend and I’m still giddy from the possibilities!
So where am I headed with this? Continue reading
Until recently, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering if I was on the right track with my business. Was this powerful self-reflection on my part?
No.
It was just my ol’ friend Lizard Brain, lurking in that dark, scary part of my mind, doing its best to stop me from pursuing something it deemed risky or unsafe.
For months I’ve been seized by a lethargy created by having too many options – similar to standing in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet. And like the aforementioned buffet, this may seem appealing at first. . .until heartburn sets in.
Is it possible to have too many options?
Absolutely!
Enter the monkey mind: Continue reading
About 3 weeks ago I read Seth Godin‘s new book, Linchpin. Yes, I know, I’m still talking about Seth, but hang on, you’ll find out why in a moment.
Since then, I have had more creative energy, completed more tasks and begun more projects than the previous 3 – 6 months. The difference is astounding and I feel like I’ve had a blow to the head!
We all have defining moments and reading Linchpin was one of those for me. My friend Mary raved about it until I had to read the book just to shut her up. I truly had no idea it would alter my life so profoundly.
The illusions I’d created to keep myself safe fell away one by one as I read the book, and I got clear what it was costing me to not keep my word to myself. As a coach I am brilliant at supporting others to pursue their passions and take action, but left to my own devices my lizard brain can get pretty damn active.
This of course leads to suppressing myself and playing it safe, behaviour that seems pretty uncoach-like.
It’s just very, very human.
My lizard brain will do anything to keep me from being creative, taking a risk and moving out of my comfort zone. Ironically, these are all actions that leave me feeling enlivened and satisfied.
When I decided to launch this blog, my lizard brain went on high alert; I had apparently entered the danger zone and the chatter in my head got loud – really $%^& loud.
I was having panic attacks, unable to sleep and feeling worried about these weird conversations I was having with myself.
Conversations that went something like this:
I have become a Seth Godin groupie. In the past two weeks, I’ve read The Dip and Linchpin, the book that’s inspired me to finally take the plunge and “ship”.
I’ve thought about it, read about it, downloaded “how to” ebooks about it and so on. That’s just a few of the many distractions that have stopped me in my tracks. Each time, I’ve rationalized and come up with what I thought was a valid reason to wait. The lizard brain won each and every time.
Until NOW.
As I’ve immersed myself in Seth-land, I have felt challenged, called out and energized, all at the same time. In The Dip Seth says,
“Quit the wrong stuff. Stick with the right stuff. Have the guts to do one or the other.”
My wrong stuff (procrastinating & obsessing, wasting hours online “researching”, etc.) has been exhausting. My right stuff (hanging out with my writers’ group, even though I was barely writing) has fed my soul, however inconsistently.
Seems like an easy choice, so why has it been so damn hard to quit the wrong stuff?