We all have a dark side; a part of ourselves that we wish were otherwise.
Even the nicest of the nice, they’ve got their shadow side too.
But whatever you call it, however much you try to hide it, there’s something to learn from it if you look.
Just like this leaf, which I’m starting to think of as the leaf that keeps on giving. Weird thing is, when I first chose the leaf I completely missed the big dark spot you’ll see below.
It was hidden from my view.
How could I have missed that big, dark spot?
It was easier than you might think. I was so wrapped up in the colour and size, the majesty of it – I had eyes only for its beauty.
And therein lies its lesson:
An invitation to see beyond the obvious. A call to look for, not just the beauty, but the dark spots, the shadow side that exists in everyone and everything.
[pullquote]”I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.” – Pablo Neruda[/pullquote]
Darkness has its own beauty.
I saw it there on the leaf.
Not a solid black as I first thought, but a gathering of many tiny black bumps circled by a ring of dark green that brought to mind the richness of a forest.
The closer I looked, the more I saw. The darkness became unimportant, merely information about its current state of existence.
I saw the lines running through the darkness like the lines in the palm of my hand.
I saw the spaces between the bumps echoing the spaces we sometimes try so hard to fill.
I saw how much the surface of the leaf looked like a magnified image of human skin.
I saw all that and felt connected – to the leaf, to the darkness, to all.
That moment of oneness seemed to last forever and I wanted to spend more time there. The darkness had drawn me in till I fell into its beauty, an unexpected surprise.
as·ton·ish·ment
1. overpowering wonder or surprise; amazement
What if you were to let yourself be astonished by what’s around you? The truth is, beauty is everywhere when you look beyond the obvious.
[pullquote]”Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” – Mary Oliver[/pullquote]
See for yourself in the exercise below.
Over to you:
- Sit in front of a mirror in which you can see your whole face.
- Be with yourself in the mirror, exactly the way you are.
- Look closer and see what you typically avoid. Where are your “dark spots?”
- Notice the beauty you’ve missed out on.
- Take a deep breath and share your beauty in a comment below.
I’m in awe of this. Such beauty, beingness, clarity, insight. Thank you for this, Sandi. Acceptance + flow.
I’m just so amazed (or should I say astonished!) at what’s come from being with that leaf!
Sandi…so gorgeous. And I think I am in love with the word astonishment.
I’m not surprised you like the word astonishment! It suits you perfectly 🙂
Wrinkles and laugh lines.
When I look at them I realize that I’m not as young as act…which is a good reminder despite the dark spot that is the fact that life is short. It shows me that I have a bit of life under my belt – not a ton but a bit – and during that time I’ve been ok with expressing myself enough to laugh and live expressively (because a full range of face often turns into a handful of wrinkles).
I find laugh lines so appealing! They put me at ease somehow, like I know this person has really lived 🙂
I love your writing, observations and insights Sandi, but this post goes one beyond – stunning, thank you x
Thanks so much Jackie! I’m still kind of in awe at the impact of my last retreat and especially the exercise with the one leaf. Unleafing a new me 😉
…as opposed to unleashing!
Really cool, Sandi. Very nice post.
Thanks.
Thanks Dan, it’s been a really cool experience!
I tried this mirror thing….
my first thought was that my eyes are very dark today – which is actually a good thing. Usually the grey/white in my irises (iriii?) is more noticeable when I’m angry. The darkness in the blue is softer, warmer, more kind and loving…..and it was more visible today.
Which made me think about darkness and light and how they don’t always mean what we expect them to mean.
Then I got distracted by my hair – coloured in the most amazing and dramatic way by a very talented stylist….
and then I was drawn to the scar on my scalp, hidden by all that brilliant red hair.
And I noticed just how rigidly straight that scar is. And I felt realization seeping in. This scar, this memory of an injury of childhood, etched into my head for always, is probably the straightest thing on my entire body.
That injury hurt.
I like curves better.
Hugs and butterflies,
~T~
Love what you said about darkness and light not always meaning what we think they mean. Which leads me to, it’s all interpretation!
Well, this post is astonishing. Love it. Geneen Roth speaks of being “married to amazement,” which I work on emulating but need constant reminders about. Love the richness and depth in that black spot on the leaf, reminds me of the darkness of this time of year, which to me is profoundly creative.
“married to amazement” …ok, I love that phrase! And yes, the dark spot on the leaf once magnified, blew my mind, especially as I hadn’t seen it at all at first. But that’s life isn’t it? Astonishing 😉
Hi Sandi,
Beautifully said. We often overlook many of the subtleties of life because we are too busy to stop, observe and just be.
First time at your site. Followed you from John Fachetto’s site… loved your comment on his last post. I too am taking a creative sabbatical as I begin to refocus my business into one that truly reflects who I am, my values and my message.
Look forward to reading more of you stuff.
All the best,
Michele
Hi Michele,
What a lovely comment to start the day! I love how you’ve connected the refocusing to your values as they always lead us in the right direction 🙂
I need this today. Going to have to read and re-read it.
Oh Jack, can’t tell you how many times I’ve read it myself as a reminder. It’s easy to slip into the drift of life and not allow for wonder and awe.