Quit Monkeying Around

 

Until recently, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering if I was on the right track with my business.  Was this powerful self-reflection on my part?

No.

It was just my ol’ friend Lizard Brain, lurking in that dark, scary part of my mind, doing its best to stop me from pursuing something it deemed risky or unsafe.

For months I’ve been seized by a lethargy created by having too many options – similar to standing in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet.  And like the aforementioned buffet, this may seem appealing at first. . .until heartburn sets in.

Is it possible to have too many options?

Absolutely!

Enter the monkey mind:

a Buddhist term meaning “unsettled; restless; capricious; whimsical; fanciful; inconstant; confused; indecisive; uncontrollable”

Swinging from thought to thought, distracting me, encouraging me to take naps, check my email, etc.

I meditated, mind-mapped, and brainstormed till I felt completely drained.

I really thought if I worked on it long enough, with enough commitment, I’d find a solution!

Wrong.

I learned, once again, that I can’t force an outcome and that damn monkey kept messing with my little grey cells, refusing to give me any peace of mind.

Until one day, a new thought arose…

What’s in it for me?

THAT is not a question that often comes to mind.  Seems like I’ve spent a lifetime supporting, encouraging, empowering others – fulfilling this desire I have to contribute, to make a difference beyond my own existence.

Asking “What’s in it for me?” seemed blasphemous.

For a moment.

Until I began to realize how often I’d said yes to something where the answer to “What’s in it for me?” was nothing.

Zip.  Zilch.  Zero.

By that I mean, my values weren’t being met in any way, shape or form.

I also remembered how often I’ve asked my clients to consider this question:

Every time you say Yes to something, what are you saying No to?

Looking back I realized that sometimes I’d said Yes for all the wrong reasons.  I’d unconsciously said No to my self-care, integrity, personal commitments, etc.  in order to look good, help someone out, stand out in some way.  This explained the confusion and burnout I’d been experiencing.  What a surprise!

So, I returned to my values for clarity.

Once my core values were clear and present, I could narrow it down to 3 non-negotiables and if at least 2 of the 3 were met I could say Yes wholeheartedly.

My lethargy began to lift as I asked myself these 3 questions (directly linked to my values) whenever an opportunity or request came my way:

1. Will I make money?  (Abundance & Freedom)
2. Will I make a difference?  (Contribution)
3. Will I have fun?  (Collaboration & Play)

Our values are unique to each of us – like our fingerprints and DNA.

They are the essence of who we are, and if we’re willing, they can provide a roadmap to living a juicy and fulfilling life.

Without them, life can seem like a road trip with no destination!

Want clarity for yourself?

• Brainstorm your top 10 values
• Pick your 3 non-negotiables
• Come up with your 3 questions
• Practice asking them of yourself

Now that I’ve assured my monkey mind that I’m committed to having fun in a whole new way, it’s happily playing on its own, letting me do the work I’m here for.