According to Anthony Robbins, human beings have six basic human needs:
Certainty – to be comfortable and avoid pain
Variety – to have stimulus, change and surprise in your life
Significance – to feel special and worthy of attention
Connection & Love – to feel connected and loving, of yourself and others
Growth – to feel fully alive and continually growing
Contribution – to contribute beyond yourself, creating meaning and serving the greater good
We all have these same needs, we just get them met in different ways, both positive and negative.
For example:
You can meet your need for certainty by deciding to believe in yourself OR deciding to never leave your house again. Yes, both those decisions meet the need.
This happens all the time and explains why we so often begin things only to sabotage and lead ourselves to failure. I think that’s also when your lizard brain makes itself known!
Anything you find difficult but love to do, you can bet it’s because some of these needs are being met.
And when you have a sense that taking an action will meet many of your needs, you’re more likely to follow through.
On the flip side, if there’s something you put off, ignore or avoid doing, it’s because how you currently think of it causes a feeling of lack, that it won’t fulfill any of your needs.
Here’s the interesting thing about these needs –
Anything you do can meet ALL of these needs if you change your perception (what you notice and/or believe) or your strategy (how you get it done). More on that in a future post.
It all starts with awareness.
You’ve got to become aware of not just what you’re doing, but why you’re doing it. This awareness can then lead to a new strategy to fulfill on what you want in life.
What if for one week you simply noticed how your needs show up?
Nothing to do, nothing to fix.
Just notice.
Over to you:
- Which of the six needs do you focus on most?
- What do you do to meet that need?
- What do you make it mean that you focus on that need?
- And what if it didn’t mean that at all?
My heart needs showed up loud and clear when Gene left…actually, so much so that I became needy!
And then one ray of light pierced the dark veil, and another. Now I’m super stoked again (like I was at WDS) but all my myself. 🙂
Now, time for me to listen to body’s needs and go exercise! I’ve been sleeping 16 hours a day and it’s time to MOVE! 🙂
I can relate Jeanie because I’ve been asking my body, “What do you need today?” and it’s a very different way of operating!
I don’t agree that certainty is a basic human need. And I have my doubts about variety. But those others ring true.
And of those, I’m currently most focused on connection and contribution.
What I’m doing now fosters both together. The more I connect, the more I’m able to contribute in way I can feel. That’s pretty important. Feeling it. It’s not necessary, but it helps.
I do it by blogging. Through my blog I can share what I’ve learned and offer people encouragment and information to help them on their way. This is very satisfying. Even more so if they pipe up and say hello.
Peter,
I think certainty is also connected to comfort. As for variety or change, it depends very much on your wiring. Are you more drawn to change or sameness? I like change and variety and find when things get too stable I get uncomfortable and want to stir things up. It’s part of our metaprograms or wiring.
One of the reasons social media works for me way more than I thought it would is because there’s so much opportunity for connection, and because that need is met daily it doesn’t feel like work to me at all. Just another aspect of my day connecting 🙂
What a great post! I feel like you’ve given me a coaching session right here.. and I didn’t have to even say a word. 🙂 I’m struggling with my 10th miscarriage, which conflicts with my need for certainty, and I choose to focus on areas that I can affect. Variety comes up in the things I take on – ie. not simply focusing on one area that is beyond my control but doing other things that bring me joy. I allow people close enough because I am worthy of attention (rather than blaming myself for the miscarriages), and because I allow that closeness, I’m connected and loved, and this feeds back to my self-love. 🙂 The whole process of awareness helps me to grow. 🙂 Thank you!
Janet,
So pleased to hear this post made a difference for you. Isn’t it amazing how much opens up when we stop making ourselves wrong for our needs?