At this time of year I start to look forward , and while I’m no fan of resolutions, I do love creating the future. This year, I’m feeling anticipation more than usual.
This feeling has a lot to do with the my journey the past couple of years, which has been an opportunity to embrace more of what I love and want in life.
And what’s leading me there with a new-found intensity is my deep dive into Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map.
Reading the Desire Map is a soulful endeavour that wreaks havoc (in a good way) on my psyche, and makes room for new thoughts and feelings to emerge.
desire
: early 13th century Latin, desiderare – “long for, wish for,” original sense – “await what the stars will bring”
Await what the stars will bring…
So I willingly immersed myself in the desire mapping process which led to feeling good in all areas of my life.
Now I’m not new to the Desire Map having gone through the process last year, but this time I gave myself fully to the experience.
My motivation came from a longing to create this year in a new way, but also to deepen my own relationship to desire.
I’ve had plenty of experience wanting something and not getting it, and wondered how desire could transform that sense of striving. I also committed to leading two Desire Map groups, and public declaration is a powerful motivator.
I settled in to explore my desires, and what showed up were these core desired feelings:
Cherished
Free
Delight
Spacious
Wonder
While doing the work my guy came home, and after a short while, he asked what I was doing. I casually responded, “Getting clear how I want to feel this year.”
Silence, and then…“Can I do it too?”
We sat side by side, me asking the questions out loud, both of us writing in notebooks. No idle chat, just silence and the sound of pen on paper, accompanied by the warm light of the fire.
What happened next surprised me, and was a direct hit of delight.
When I asked him to share one of his feelings ‘joyfully connected’ came out of his mouth, along with a simple statement that it’s how he wants to feel in relationships, and specifically with me in our marriage.
Hello Desire Map, I love you.
This process works.
It guides you past the same old stuff that comes up every January and takes you deep into what’s important.
For me it was,
Feeling joyfully connected vs. “let’s set up another date night”
Feeling cherished and delighted vs. driven by my goals
When you allow your feelings to guide you,
“…you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be.” – Danielle LaPorte
Wow. Right at the part where Mark says “joyfully connected” I started crying. It’s gonna take a minute to sort out why exactly, although I have an inkling… xoxo
Jill Prescott I was stunned. And I cried too 🙂
Sandi I love this line :I’ve had plenty of experience wanting something and not getting it, and you have me interested in knowing more about the desire map. maybe this will tie in with i am only doing it if brings me joy 🙂
Sanid! This is so cool – and strange because when we had our Hangout before Christmas all my questions were about how you wanted to feel about thing – Christmas, 2014, etc. I can report that the feelings I wanted to experience over Christmas manifested in a most unusual way, but they did! Now I’m sure the feelings I’ve chosen for 2014 as a whole will too.
I just chose some feelings for today 🙂
You should join our Hangouts if you have time!!!! See the link at LFI – first one of 2014 is tomorrow!
Lori
P.S. The theme of tomorrow’s hangout is perfection!
suziecheel It’s really a beautiful process Suzie, and would tie in beautifully with doing what brings you joy. If you’re interested, I’m leading a virtual Desire Mapping group on Sunday mornings. You can join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/635840046461748/
Lori Asking how we want to feel is huge because for many, we’ve been told for so long that we are not our feelings. I’ve begun a daily practice of asking how I want to feel about whatever is coming up next on my schedule, or how can I feel more of one of my core desired feelings. It also keeps me more grounded in my body rather than my head!
I’d love to join a hangout with you but they’re always on Wed mornings and I’m with clients!
Sandi Amorim Funny you should say that Sandi! After reading your post I did that for today! I like the idea – even wrote it down! This could be a good way to start the day!
Too bad about the timing of the Hangouts! We need to have it at a time which includes Europe, India and Costa Rica so it’s tricky 🙁
Hi Sandi,
It was so awesome how your husband and you immediately connected during the time of “just silence and the sound of pen on paper.” Beautiful! Thanks for the sharing. will check out the desire map. Sounds inspiring.
treatmenttalk That moment was surreal, and truthfully, it took everything in me to just savour it and not talk!
Very cool. Thanks for sharing!