“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Many of today’s experts and gurus forget this.
It doesn’t matter how much they know. . .if you feel uncomfortable after watching their video.
It doesn’t matter what credentials follow their names. . .if they leave you feeling less than or lacking in any way.
And it absolutely doesn’t matter how many testimonials, followers, and subscribers they have if their offer just doesn’t feel good.
The promises and guarantees make no difference unless YOU know – and feel in your gut – that making a difference for YOU was their primary goal.
“There is no point in going into a business unless you can make a radical difference in other people’s lives.” – Richard Branson
It’s easy to look to the Internet gurus and marketers, but while they are definitely guilty of this practice they’re most assuredly not the only ones doing it.
I’m talking about those long-winded emails that start by scaring the crap out of you. Then, they wrap up with a save-the-day, “let me tell you how it’s done” solution and pressure to buy their new shiny product.
I hate this as much as one-size-fits-all pantyhose!
Because the truth is. . .
One size? NEVER, EVER fits all.
EVER.
And one solution never applies to life and business (doesn’t matter if we’re talking stockings, marketing or business building!)
There’s never just one solution, and the experts who try to convince you that there is have themselves and their self interests front and centre. Not yours.
RUN away from them as fast as you can, but only after you’ve gone back to their site to unsubscribe!
Truth is they don’t have the solution, nor do they have your interests in mind.
How do I know? They wouldn’t still be using these fear based, angst ridden tactics.
They are out to sell, which in and of itself is not the problem.
It’s that they don’t mind stretching the truth to do so.
Coaches do this too. I cringe every time I see it and it makes me wonder. . .
Does anyone tell the truth anymore?
The realm of personal development and human potential is not exempt. There are many coaches and consultants who’ve bought their own PR. They’ve forgotten the WHY that had them pursue a career that’s all about helping people.
They’ve lost touch with humanity, and that you are unique and worthy of their respect.
It’s up to you to be on the look out for anything that hits you like a fear Taser.
For that’s how they do it, they speak directly to your lizard brain – yes, dear ol’ Lizzie – and its desire for security.
But this can cost you a whole lotta time, energy and money, while the promised solution never materializes.
I’ve learned a few things over the years. I too have been burnt by the experts, both as a paying customer as well as a partner in a long ago project.
I was lured by assurance in the first scenario, and flattery and attention in the second. Just like you, I fell for it.
Lessons learned.
Here’s the thing…
When you keep going back for more, keep buying into the hype, then you do yourself a great disservice.
Because the experts (A-Listers, gurus, et al.) are not going to stop.
It’s up to you be responsible for your own experience.
It’s up to you to do your due diligence rather than following the herd like a blindfolded sheep.
Here are a few of the tips I learned along the way.
5 Tips to Sidestep the BS about One-Size-Fits-All
1. Avoid the ubiquitous blueprint.
Blueprints, templates, roadmaps. . .they all work to guide you. That part is true.
Stop believing they are THE answer to what ails you.
Whether it’s a search for happiness or playing a bigger game in your business, you’ve got to find YOUR way. That doesn’t mean there aren’t people and tools to help you out; just beware of the rose-coloured glasses the experts hand out. Your values are a much better guide than their blueprint!
“Begin each day with the blueprint of your deepest values FIRMLY in mind then when challenges come, make decisions BASED on those values.” – Steven Covey
2. Ask questions!
Just because the person making the offer is well known, doesn’t mean you can’t ask them questions. Sit down and get clear on what you want to know that’s not clear in their offer.
Ask about experience, success stories, personal experience. You have a right to know these things if you’re going to be shelling out major cash.
“He who knows all the answers has not been asked all the questions.” – Confucious
3. Trust your gut.
The lizard brain rules your head, so go back to your gut. It is the fastest, best way to check out things out.
Consider the offer and then get still. Close your eyes and notice what’s going on in your body – it doesn’t lie. When I think back to the times I’ve not done this, the cost has been greater than I’d like to acknowledge.
“If your skin is crawling, pay attention. If something doesn’t feel right, pay attention. If the hairs on the back of your neck prickle, if your gut clenches up, if a wave of wrongness washes over you, if your heart starts beating faster, pay, pay, pay attention.” – Inga Muscio
4. Talk to their people.
Check out the expert’s testimonials. Ask to connect with 1 or 2 of them and ask questions. Check out their websites if available and see for yourself.
Over the years I’ve had potential clients ask for this and I’m always happy to connect them with a couple of clients (both current and former). They are my not-so-secret weapon and my business has thrived because of these referrals and my willingness to be transparent.
“All teachings are mere references. The true experience is living your own life.” – Deng Ming-Dao
5. S L O W down.
It’s not a race, there is no hurry, and there’s nowhere to get to.
Breathe, get clear, take your time. And if you’re in business, consider the concept of slow marketing.
“Slow down you’re doing fine. You can’t be everything you want to be before your time.” – Billy Joel
This post is part of the monthly Word Carnivals, a round-up of small-biz bloggers writing on a common theme.
Check out all the Carnie bloggers here: Word Carnivals
Very well said Sandi! As I was creating my biz the information about “how to do it right” was terrifying. Thank you for validating that and that trusting your gut and doing what works for me is ok. x
Renee at Living Luminous I know, right? It’s crazy making and so not helpful!
My preference is to find a role model, someone already doing what I want to do and watch them, learn from them, and if possible connect with them. Truth is we all have so many resources within ourselves and we discount that when we buy the quick-fix products. Especially in the realm of personal development!
I have fallen victim to this too. It also used to make me feel like less than professional because I didn’t have a method or road map to offer my clients. The whole experience was yucky. Their right way never worked out for me & I felt I couldn’t help anyone because I didn’t have a one right way to offer.
I’m glad I got over that.
delisacarnegie Those sales pages are designed to make us feel less than because that’s when we open our wallets. Fear based BS that makes my blood boil!
I’ve tried my best whenever I’ve run a program to frame it in a way that’s helpful without diminishing. I don’t have all the answers and even if I did that would still not make me an expert in your life! It’s time more coaches and consultants got straight about that.
Now I have to go over my pages and make sure they don’t sound full of fear. Sometimes I wonder if I come across that way to ppl that don’t know my normal way of talking. I don’t want be a Fear Pusher.
Now I have to go over my pages and make sure they don’t sound full of fear. Sometimes I wonder if I come across that way to ppl that don’t know my normal way of talking. I don’t want be a Fear Pusher.
I LOVE THIS. We all feel the pressure sometimes to boil everything down to the simplest soundbite takeaway, but these people take it SO much further. And it’s just wrong. And it’s time we all SAID it was wrong, too. So bravo to you, Sandi!
AnnieSisk It is wrong, especially for coaches and consultants who work in the personal development realm. We know better and it’s time to start doing better with that knowledge.
There’s still so much more I wanted to say about this topic as it was bringing up a lot of emotion for me. So I’ll sit with it for awhile and see how it feels. It angers me how this practice preys on our vulnerability as human beings.
Well said, Sandi. Of all your tips, the one that most resonates with me is listening to your gut – it never lies to you.
SHurleyHall When I think back to the couple of incidents I mentioned my gut knew and I ignored it. That’s why I so often harp on this now – trust your gut, it knows more than your head!
I don’t know who said it, Sandi, but I read a wonderful quote once that went something like this …
“If you tell the truth, you won’t have to remember anything.” I was reminded of that quote as I read your post because I’ve encountered more than enough big “fibs” and “tall tales” online. I’ve also grabbed my credit card at times when things just didn’t “feel” exactly right but the sales copy had me convinced I had to “buy now”. 🙁
Everything in your post resonated with me and this is my favorite line:
“So it’s up to you to pay be on the look out for anything that hits you like a fear Taser.”
I applaud you for tellin’ it like it is! Fab post! 🙂
MelanieKissell I can totally relate to buying under pressure. There’s one site in particular that always gets me hovering over their “buy now” link, and I’ve often wondered what it is that compels me like that. It’s seductive, isn’t it?
Sandi Amorim MelanieKissell “Seduction” and “Enticement” … for sure!
MelanieKissell I can totally relate to buying under pressure. There’s one site in particular that always gets me hovering over their “buy now” link, and I’ve often wondered what it is that compels me like that. It’s seductive, isn’t it?
Brilliant, Sandy! What you said at the start of this post is so true. Without a genuine heart, you might entice people but eventually they wake up. I like your ideas for how to test out the snake oil.
Sandra Pawula Having fallen prey to the snake oil a few times myself, I know what signs to look for 😉
And you’re right, heart makes all the difference and if we pay attention we can feel when it’s missing.
Who among us doesn’t want the magic pill — that will create a successful business, that will make us lose 30 pounds immediately, that will find us the perfect partner, that will make all our dreams come true, that will make us forever happy? No one! And who doesnt want all that to happen immediately or, preferably, yesterday? No one! And that’s why the hypey, one size fits all, promise the moon, grab it yesterday marketing strategies work and why they will always be with us. But here’s the truth — there is no such thing as a magic pill. And instant gratification usually isn’t very good for us. Turn on your bs detector. If it says, “Too good to be true,” it is.
Here’s what I believe to be the truth. No one else has the answers for me and my life and my business except myself. They may have information, experience, and skills I don’t have. But they don’t have the one and only answer, the one and only truth. Every time I allow myself to believe the contrary and I act on that belief, I give away my power. And when the proverbial s**t hits the fan, the only person I need to point the finger at and blame is the one staring back at me in the mirror.
Carol Hess Turn up the volume, Carol!! “No one else has the answers for me and my life and my business except myself.” 🙂
MelanieKissell Carol Hess Will do! Can you hear me now? Now? Now? 🙂
Carol Hess We all have the BS detector, the challenge is listening to it!
I’ve had a few experiences when I clearly heard it go off, but ignored it and followed through with what my head thought was a great idea. Looking back, each time I really felt the NO in my gut, and chose to listen to Lizzie’s fear-based yes instead. Each time with negative consequences. Now, at the first twinge in my gut I pay attention; it’s become my trusty advisor!
Sandi Amorim Carol Hess The gut doesn’t lie.
Thanks for this truth telling Sandi. There’s something that happens when I read those kinds of pitches, a gross feeling of something trying to pull me somewhere I don’t want to go. Because I didn’t want to, I couldn’t, be like that, I stayed introverted for many years. It took a long time for me to realize marketing as an opportunity to grow relationship with people.
And regarding the self-help/personal development world, I feel you there too. There was nothing in me that wanted to write a self-help book that lectured people or offered false promises for perfect outcomes. There isn’t one right way to transform. Often what we grow as we find our way through challenges is the very thing that seeds personal power.
Finally, as someone new to the personal development/coaching scene, I want to thank you. I’m clear I need to find my own way, but I appreciate how you model integrity and heart in this realm.
Blessings,
Staci
StaciBoden I’m so glad it resonated because it was really hard to write this post and tell the truth. It took several attempts and starting over to finally get to the core of what I wanted to say. And the thing is I don’t believe we always do this from a selfish place. I think we’ve been trained in all kinds of sales and marketing resources to focus on the pain points, etc. But is that what we really want for ourselves and our clients or readers?
As I’ve shared, I learned much of this the hard way, having spent time and money, but also learning lessons in trust with business partners and collaborators in the past. Taking a stand for a way of offering that comes from the heart and has integrity hasn’t been easy, but now that I’m here it’s so worth it.
Thanks for your thoughts my friend.
I think part of the lesson here is to avoid these sales pages/pitches at all costs when “Lizzie” is feeling active! Of course we’ve all fallen prey – because as Carol says, who doesn’t want that magic bullet to cure the problem preferrably yesterday? Who doesn’t want to end that pain NOW? And – who doesn’t know deep down that it can never be that easy?
Unfortunately those scarcity/pain/magic solution sales tactics are tried and true, and proven psychologically. I just can’t feel ethical, and in fact feel slimy, about using them. Which doesn’t bode that well for getting serious as a copywriter I realized. Glad to see someone getting real and pointing out how icky this is – it’s easy to get carried away with this online marketing thing, even when you’re in the business of supposedly helping people and changing the world.
saraho Sigh, it is kind of a slippery slope because all the ‘how to’s’ out there teach this way of writing sales copy. But what if we took a stand for something new?
One of the people I see already doing this is Fabeku Fatunmise. His voice and heart are so authentic and his offers resonate with integrity. That’s what I’m talking about!
saraho I feel you, sister. Which is why I started the whole Slow Marketing thing. I’m hoping that if enough of us band together, we can make it an “official movement” — well respected and talked about often. We MUST use our powers for good!
tsilvestre saraho For good, not evil…I’m in!
tsilvestre saraho “We MUST use our powers for good!” I’ll second that motion, Tea!
The first time I opened up my business, it was called Social Good Marketing. And one of my mantras was “No fear-based marketing. EVER.” It was funny how often I bumped up against this with clients who wanted to do something good (save the earth, the oceans, the homeless, etc.) and yet felt that the only way they could get people on board was to use a fearful message. Past Prez George W used fear a LOT and it worked — in the short term. The thing that people don’t realize is that fear-based messages don’t last. Our lizzie brains can only handle so much before they shut off and go in search of something a little more comfortable. Folks who use fear-based messages to market themselves (or try to get clients to change their behavior) are only shooting themselves in the foot — IF they’re trying to build a lasting clientele. If you’re only out for short-term gains, then you won’t care if fear only works in the short-term. The more we talk about this, the more people may “wake up” to the fact that they’re being manipulated. Thank you for this post!
tsilvestre It saddens me most when I see it so often in the personal development realm. Maybe it’s silly of me to expect better from an industry that exists to help people. As I said to saraho I do understand to an extent because all the training in sales and marketing points to this practice. But I’m sick to death of hearing about ‘pain points’ and I’m even sicker of the big names flogging their work in this way.
Slow marketing revolution, community, movement – whatever – count me in!
tsilvestre LOVE the idea of the slow marketing revolution Tea! It’s so refreshing to see marketing experts recognizing this problem. Let’s start coming from a place of love instead of a place of fear! (How can we change that within ourselves, if it’s not what we’re putting out???)
Fear mongering is the devil. It’s unnecessary to make me jump out of my skin so I buy into something you’re selling. Ha ha, I love this: “RUN away from them as fast as you can, but only after you’ve gone back to their site to unsubscribe!” So true.
You know, I realised I expected books and guides to do my work for me *embarrassed blush*. I actually had to take a step back from most of them because I was like, “Why haven’t I changed yet? This is a dud. I want my money back!” It hit me later on that I gotta apply what I learn to see any lasting change. It’s so easy to forget that when you dive head first into lots of different stuff.
Thanks for rattling my cage once again, Sandi. You ROCK. 🙂
otitiovuewhorie Haha, “This is a dud.” I hear ya sister and I’ve said the same thing over the years, not realizing at first that I had to DO THE WORK to produce the promised results. But not doing the work is a very different scenario than being scared into buying a product that puts forth a list of outrageous promises.
What works is to share knowledge and experience and offer it up as a guide. To proclaim that it’s the be-all-end-all is just plain WRONG.
I almost didn’t write this as I was afraid to rattle this particular cage, but I’m glad I did and that it’s resonating with folks! As tsilvestre suggests, there may be a movement in this!
Sandi Amorim Yes! We can call it The Truth Renaissance. I know, I give outrageous promises the beady eye these days. Easier on my equilibrium that way. 😉
Hell effing YEAH! We are the change. No blueprint alone, no other person’s advice alone, will save us. Anyone purporting to have THE answer is automatically added to my Kiss My Ass list because, though I do have expertise in many areas, I do not have all the answers ever.
I believe it’s important to trust our guts, our intuition, and if something feels ewwy, we just need to opt out. My gut has never lied. And a fear-based approach? Yeah, done wit’ chu.
Had to be said, glad you did.
Ellen Berg Hell effing YEAH? Methinks you’ll be joining the Slow Marketing movement! And actually, it’s not just about marketing…it’s also about living and growing, expanding and dreaming. If everything happened as quickly as some of those blueprints promise, our heads would be spinning!
Sandi Amorim Yup. Sometimes it feels like we’re moving quickly when actually, we’ve been marinating in some key ideas for a while and they’ve finally taken root. Definitely ready to be a part of the slow marketing movement, definitely ready to think about what I have to offer to the world.
Ellen Berg I think it will make a difference to how you launch your upcoming project. I can imagine how easily others would promote the idea, and am looking forward to how YOU do it!
Sandi Amorim Ellen Berg I just checked out your link to the Slow Marketing manifesto and it totally resonates. I come from the earth-based world where everything rests on relationship. And true relationship takes time to grow. I’m excited to see how this movement will take shape. Thanks for highlighting it.
Also, there’s something about what facebook is doing, essentially forcing people with pages to pay fees or lose contact, that feels horrible. While I don’t have a lot of people on my business page, it’s making me wonder about how else we connect with (new) people in a honest heartfelt way. I’m not sure how or if this issue is connected with Slow Marketing, but again, I wonder….
Again, thanks for stirring the pot!
StaciBoden I think many of the ‘experts’ have forgotten that it’s all about relationships!
And yes, this is shaping up to be very interesting. Kudos to tsilvestre for launching it!
Bitchin’. I love that this made its way to the interwebs after you and I had such a fervent discussion about it this past summer. All the winning. <3
violetzombie It’s been percolating for a while, and when it became the topic for this month’s Word Carnival it seemed like the right time to share my views. I feel a part 2 coming on as I had a lot more to say but it was a bit too much of a rant. Gotta sort out my thoughts a bit more 🙂
LOVE this:”I hate this as much as one-size-fits-all pantyhose!Because the truth is. . .One size? NEVER, EVER fits all.EVER.”
And can I just add: One size never fits ANYONE.No, really. I have yet to meet a person who says that one size fits allworks for them. I’m pretty sure this is the same thing as the ‘average’person who has 2.3 kids. Doesn’t exist.
Love the rest of the article too, of course – but then I love everything you write! 🙂
LisaValuyskaya Mille grazie my friend 🙂
So good to see your comment and smiling face here! And yeah, one-size-fits-all fits no one in any aspect of life and it’s up to us to stand up and say so.
Sandi Amorim LisaValuyskaya Thanks Sandi! I have been MIA for way too long, haven’t I? I promise it’s not because I was bored with reading your articles, but only due to some personal issues! 🙂
And yes! We should start a movement against the whole one-size-fits-all thing. It simply doesn’t exist — every single one of us is unique. There is absolutely no way there can ever be anything that works for every single one of us… the fact that some people still claim that is possible drives me crazy!
LisaValuyskaya Sandi Amorim Long live the bespoke revolution. 🙂
jwitcraft I love that word, bespoke. Conjures up images of uniqueness and creativity!
jwitcraft I love that word, bespoke. Conjures up images of uniqueness and creativity!
The fear mongering and promising the earth willy nilly has caught up with me today too – I’ve just had a rant on my blog about how much to charge – there are some who are doing my head in with what I believe to be unrealistic, immoral and unethical methods. You’ve highlighted where I was going next, maybe I don’t need to do mine now 🙂
Jackie Walker There’s room for more I’m sure! It’s a conversation that needs to be had, especially from a values perspective. It’s not just about pricing, it’s about providing value and honouring one’s word. It just doesn’t work to make outrageous promises that few can deliver on, and ultimately, make the buyer or client feel like crap because they couldn’t produce the result.
I hear ya, Sandi. Especially about the one size fits all pantyhose (LOL). Checking in with my body is my important step – I’ve noticed that sometimes I think I’m excited about something when it’s really more of a nervous (i.e. bad! danger Will Robinson!) reaction, and when I don’t stop to really clearly feel it through and separate things out, it can go unpleasantly for me.
bombchelle Yep: that happens to me a lot, too. Excitement is tingly but anxiety is heart-pumping. Weird, right? Totally my MO, though.
violetzombie bombchelle Well, it’s been documented that fear and excitement have the same physical sensations, so it’s all about discernment! And that’s hard to come by when we make snap decisions based on BUY NOW pressure!
violetzombie bombchelle Well, it’s been documented that fear and excitement have the same physical sensations, so it’s all about discernment! And that’s hard to come by when we make snap decisions based on BUY NOW pressure!
Great points Sandi. Especially about finding your own way. As someone who has developed a system, it is important to point out that real honest systems are NOT (as you so clearly point out) one size fits all. A Real Honest System is not steps, not cookie cutter. It is a methodology, a process and a framework that creates the foundation for you to develop your unique plan and journey forward.
clarestweets I think that’s a great distinction Clare! Systems work, as do road maps – blueprints, not so much!
Amen Sandi. In fact, my own fear around falling into this trip has kept me from creating my first “program” – that is UNTIL I gave myself permission to be my authentic self and be crystal clear that what I have to offer is simply a “set of tools” to guide, support, and inspire (rather than an answer to all problems!).Regarding my own experiences with other people’s programs – luckily my gut has kept me away from the fear-based ones and has helped me genuinely distill what works for ME in the others.
Sabrina at MyMiBoSo Thank your gut! It has lead you in the right direction my friend!
Great opening line with the quote from Teddy Roosevelt.“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” LOVE it.
To quote our fellow word carnie tsilvestre , you start with a basic recipe (the general process) and then make it your own. No one gets to be super successful just copying someone else. If it really worked that way why don’t all the gurus have 1000’s who’ve done it and made millions?
NicoleFende Yes, that’s it exactly!!! Instead what I usually see is those same folks buying into the next program that rolls out. Very few actually produce the intended results, but they’re so caught up in their fear they buy the next one, hoping yet again. It’s a sad and disheartening loop they get trapped in.
I just watched a “trailer” for a new product yesterday that was pure scare tactics. It basically outlined how the economy is going to the toilet, how everyone is helpless, and how you are forever doomed to a life of misery unless you buy the product. A bit over the top, no? However, there’s a fine line between marketing and selling crap. Unfortunately people love things like “blueprints.” So it’s hard to get away from the jargon…at least for now. I think the more people see it, the more they will become immune to it (which is probably happening right now). The real issue is what happens after “the sell.” A lot of these products that people are scared into buying are just absolute garbage. And that’s where the real problem lies.
EugeneFarber I believe I saw that same “trailer”, Eugene. BIG YUCK. I am a gal, however, who appreciates a blueprint, a road map, A,B,C, 1,2,3, instructions. At a minimum, give me the guidelines, please! BUT … when the proverbial “easy steps” lead me down 2000 miles of dead end road … I get pretty miffed. I’ve seen this scenario played out way too many times with way too many people.
EugeneFarber Even the products that aren’t garbage though, it doesn’t serve anyone to keep using the same jargon and making the same outrageous promises. I love tsilvestre ‘s recipe analogy which works much better. Or even a roadmap. Those can both be adapted, which makes more of a difference.
I’ve always hated the blueprint approach. It makes no sense; if social media worked for everybody the same way, everybody would be famous. If marketing were easy, everybody would have a million bucks.
Most small business owners can’t get past themselves to market effectively in the first place, let alone get organized enough to be able to make a difference. It’s total bunk.
Great points on how to market (and run a business) like a human 😀
ImNickArmstrong For more effectiveness, just add humans (with heart!) 🙂
This is a great list, and so applicable to numerous situations in life. I keep reading over it, and though #3 really struck me on the first pass, I keep coming back to all the points. It’s so easy to let the situation run away with us, and to let the adrenaline or excitement or just plain fear of a business venture override the instincts we have. And when that business venture is using fear tactics to motivate you… oh nelly, time to run.
Thank you for this post.
This is a great list, and so applicable to numerous situations in life. I keep reading over it, and though #3 really struck me on the first pass, I keep coming back to all the points. It’s so easy to let the situation run away with us, and to let the adrenaline or excitement or just plain fear of a business venture override the instincts we have. And when that business venture is using fear tactics to motivate you… oh nelly, time to run.
Thank you for this post.
Megan Peterson Yes, time to run!!! When we slow down and get in touch with what we want vs. what the gurus are promising (usually not the same thing!) our instincts can guide us to a place of discernment. Of course, slowing down is the opposite of BUY NOW so it takes some practice to not get sucked in!
I hear ya! These folks prey on our desire to have solutions in a neat little easy package. I have found the most effective programs for entrepreneurs (and other types of programs) get their value from community interaction, not so much from the blueprint or guru.
Sue_Mitchell Yes, I found the same thing both as facilitator AND participant! Great observation Sue!
Woow Sandi you and I are so completely on the same page! Love everything about your post not least of all that I wish I had penned it myself. Richard Branson’s quote ” there is no point in going into business unless you can make a radical difference in people’s lives” should be tattooed on everyone’s forehead at birth – oh okay that might be a bit drastic, but it is a sentiment worth imbuing in humans from a very young age. What else is there beyond making a difference for others?
Something the fear mongers do not consider is the actual consequence of their callous sales pitches. When someone responds and purchases, it is not just that they have spend the money for an illusion, it is that they must now waste countless hours trying to make it work to prove it was a worthwhile investment and then countless hours unravelling the mess when it doesn’t work to get them back to the same place they began before the purchase.
Having been there, it hurts me to think of all the people on the planet right now wasting countless hours that could be productively spent building an abundant business AND making a difference.
SandyMc I’ll take my tattoo on my arm instead please 😉
It’s a vicious circle that’s seductive, whispering those fears and triggering the panic that often follows in our lizard brains. So much wasted time, money and energy, and also self esteem. So many entrepreneurial spirits crushed and it doesn’t have to be this way.
That’s why I love tsilvestre ‘s slow marketing idea. It’s time for a revolution, isn’t it?
From someone who hates pantyhose no matter the size… I totally agree! There is no such thing as “the way” and especially no such thing as “the RIGHT way” and yet we so desperately want to believe it that we hand over hard-earned cash (and irreplaceable time) to people who claim to know some secret we don’t. I admit to being a full-on sucker for a lot of that, in my personal life and my business life. At some point you realize it’s all just dragging you away from the path you could be making on your own. I wish we could scream out loud and save others from making the same mistake but sometimes I think we all have to feel the burn before we can repent. I love everything you said here, especially about how we have to be responsible for ourselves. It’s easy to get cranky and blame those hucksters but in the end, we’re the ones buyin’. Live, learn, do NOT repeat.
CarolLynnRivera Oy, having repeated the cycle myself a few times in the early days of my business I remember the burn well! It’s why I’m so incensed by the rampant use of these tactics. Just yesterday I received a link to a video from some guru promising “a formula that would take your life and business to a whole new level.” Both his inflated ego and saviour message were laughable. Once your eyes have been opened, these messages are so blatantly ridiculous.
Sandi Amorim Another phrase that should be banned: “take your business to another level”. Is that the 6th or 7th circle of hell??
CarolLynnRivera Sandi Amorim Ha! Thank you. This is such great timing; I just ran into yet another promise using this exact phrase today. So yes, “next level” should be banned. A) Who says that supposed level is so good that I want to go there right now (what if that level isn’t right for the capacity of my business at the moment, what if that level involves promises I can’t keep)? and B) it seems like a case of the grass being apparently greener, and only some messiah of business can lead me there. Love your comments, they are so good for me to hear right now.
Megan Peterson CarolLynnRivera YES! Let’s collaborate to create a post of banned sales and marketing phrases! 🙂
Megan Peterson CarolLynnRivera YES! Let’s collaborate to create a post of banned sales and marketing phrases! 🙂
Sandi Amorim Megan Peterson CarolLynnRivera Go for it!!
MelanieKissell Sandi Amorim Megan Peterson CarolLynnRivera I’m in…. we could write a whole book. I’m going to start making a list of the nonsense I hear and usually ignore!
CarolLynnRivera MelanieKissell Sandi Amorim Megan Peterson Another selling phrase is “See how a student of mine made X $ in a single month”
CarolLynnRivera MelanieKissell Sandi Amorim Megan Peterson Another selling phrase is “See how a student of mine made X $ in a single month”
Couldn’t agree more. I tend to feel horrible because I just don’t “get” a concept or I just don’t “connect” with another. It’s so important to focus on the individual. Especially as I write on self-love, a topic that is as individual as it gets, I really have to be careful, not to go for the “general” but be more open to the individuals. Great post and a much needed piece of advice and wisdom.
anneso87 Thanks Anne Sophie! When we come from the heart (as you do so well!) connection and love show up as a natural outcome.
Sandi Amorim anneso87 indeed.
anneso87 Thanks Anne Sophie! When we come from the heart (as you do so well!) connection and love show up as a natural outcome.
In simple words you have to be brave enough to learn the hard way.
Personally I had to go through many blueprints and secrets. A few guys made some money out of me:)
Now when I have a little experience I understand that all these marketing tactics are used to manipulate people. This creates anxiety in us.
Now I’m looking for people who believe what I believe.
One day had to make a choice. Am I going after the secret or my values and beliefs.
Ion Doaga Wow Ion, you nailed it in that last line – the lure of the ‘secret’ vs the power of your own values. Love it!
Ion Doaga Wow Ion, you nailed it in that last line – the lure of the ‘secret’ vs the power of your own values. Love it!
Sandi this is a freaking awesome post! I feel like you don’t normally give super specific straightforward advice on subjects like this. Which I guess makes it all the more powerful when you do!
I see list posts all the time – but this on just felt really legit!
Your last point about “Slow down” really resonates with me. I have a tendency to try and go to fast. Plus with all the information out there on the internet it is easy to get blindsided. If we take everything as it is said we will get broadsided.
It’s powerful to hear all of this from you Sandi! Super awesome!
Sandi this is a freaking awesome post! I feel like you don’t normally give super specific straightforward advice on subjects like this. Which I guess makes it all the more powerful when you do!
I see list posts all the time – but this on just felt really legit!
Your last point about “Slow down” really resonates with me. I have a tendency to try and go to fast. Plus with all the information out there on the internet it is easy to get blindsided. If we take everything as it is said we will get broadsided.
It’s powerful to hear all of this from you Sandi! Super awesome!
30YearOldninja You’re right Izzy, I tend to leave this kind of post to the marketing folks I know and trust, but this time I felt compelled to add to the conversation. What’s great about your comment is that I think it highlights that we each have a weakness in those 5 points I’ve made in the post. When you get which one leads you astray, that’s pretty great news!!!
I’m not sure where to start in response to this post, except to say that it is such a wonderful reminder! I’m well acquainted with my lizard brain. She and I talk fairly regularly. But when those triggers are pulled, it’s so easy to get caught up in the fear and that desire for security. We all have certain phrases that trigger that emotional reaction. Last year, after a massive lizzard freak-out that led to buyers remorse, I started to make a list of the phrases that really got my lizzard all in a tizzy. Now, when I see those phrases (one of them is “secret”), my inner samurai comes out and looks at me sternly. It’s helped a lot!
Erica Holthausen Haha, love the inner samurai Erica! Awareness is half the battle, and knowing which phrases and words trigger dear ol’ Lizzie helps. Great reminder!
Hi Sandi!
I think this is the first time I’ve commented here, but I wanted to on this post because it struck a common nerve.
Honestly I think a lot of people need to be at a point where they are ready for this kind of information. Usually it’s after being burned a few times. Most people would like to believe that there’s a “right” way to do things. If we’re honest with ourselves, we probably all would like to have a parent-like figure that we can look up to for advice. It’s natural.
I got tired of this type of thing too though. Not just seeing people get taken in, but also having many arguments with clients about ideas from “gurus”. They’d take the things they say at face value and argue with me about them. Some of these “ideas” were actually pretty bad. In the end, I would feel like I was the only one who cared about the client and they were trying to do things that would be detrimental to their business just because guru said that everyone should do that. It was very frustrating for me.
I wrote an article last year to address it a bit. I think we share a lot of the same thoughts. Maybe you’d be interested in it. 🙂 http://www.naominiles.com/articles/whats-wrong-with-you/
Naomi Niles Love your post on this topic Naomi and I totally agree with you! We all need to slow down, breathe, and trust our intuition more. The answer is rarely ‘out there’.
Naomi Niles Love your post on this topic Naomi and I totally agree with you! We all need to slow down, breathe, and trust our intuition more. The answer is rarely ‘out there’.
Hi Sandi,
Dang. SLOW down, yes. Everyone in business and marketing wants to say it’s all about beating the competition and speed to market, etc. etc. But, in the process we lose our true selves. The rush negates the journey and we suffer internally even if we succeed externally. not worth it!
Listening to our inner being and getting in touch with nature is so rewarding. It’s an inside job. Inner first, and what we really want seems to come. I shared about this in a post http://critterwisdom.com/chaos-2/ Life is just so much more rewarding when we do OUR thing, isn’t it?
Carmelo More rewarding in so many ways, internally and in tangible results produced! I love the idea that tsilvestre is talking about – Slow Marketing. You can check out her manifesto here: http://slowmarketing.org/
Sandi Amorim tsilvestre Thanks for sharing this link, Sandi. I completely agree with her work and premise.