What do you do when you realize you’ve been resisting what you’re here for?
Maybe you hide out with busy work.
Or stop writing.
Or say yes to shiny new projects that are mostly distractions from…
what you’re here for.
I get it. I feel your pain. And enough is enough.
That’s what I said to myself recently!
I said, “Self, it’s time to stop resisting. It’s time to remember your intention. It’s time to get on with owning your awesome!”
My Self quivered at this vociferous demand, challenged to find the words to share what’s been going on.
Because you know, I wanted to find the RIGHT words. Which is just another way of holding myself back and waiting for my own…wait for it…someday.
Yes, I know I’m on a mission to obliterate someday thinking from the face of the earth.
Gah. I hate outing myself.
But apparently Self needed a public bitch slap, which is why I’m about to tell this tale.
Let’s go back to the beginning, for sharing the details of how it’s been is always better than waiting for the perfect words someday.
Once upon a time there was a wildly enthusiastic woman with a passion for helping others. She did what she had to do to become skilful in her chosen profession, she launched her business with zeal, and she hustled.
She hustled because she loved her work. She fell in love with her perfect people; they lit her up with their enthusiasm and commitment to living life fully.
Then one day something changed, although she had no idea at first what it was.
She still loved her work and her people, but she was beginning to hear a new call and the call was both confusing and compelling.
Be still.
Share deeply.
Write vulnerably.
This call also awakened the villain, for as you well know, any fairy tale worth its weight has a villain, and this one, a lizard of epic proportions raised its head and began to wreak havoc on the woman’s peace of mind.
And so she wrestled her villain. Long dormant, it proved itself to be a much more formidable foe than expected this far along on the journey (like that evil spider in Lord of the Rings.)
The woman could not make out the reasoning for the attack. Was the lizard out to destroy her? Why now, after so many years of doing her work?
And so her quest began.
What she had on her side was a strong belief that every behaviour (including the lizardy kind) has a positive intention. And this belief helped her see it was not an attack, but a call to deepen her integrity.
She realized in a flash that the integrity that had served her so well for so long was no longer sufficient for the next phase of the adventure. The call came through once again.
Be still.
Share deeply.
Write vulnerably.
For so long she had given her life to helping people shine; so long that she’d forgotten about herself. She’d forgotten about her own awesome, and now it lay dormant and hidden from her view.
A talisman was needed to wake up her awesome, to remind her that her deepest intention for others was also for her. That her work in the world was to shine, which is what she wanted for all.
Like most fairy tales, she’d had the talisman all along, one that had been with her from the beginning and now it could show itself in a new way. . .and take the dream to new heights.
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
In that moment, she knew she was willing.
Are you?
F(CK! Sandi! BOOM!!! (guess you don’t need the feedback! It’s all here!) Love you!
LolaSpeaking Getting the tattoo last night and then reading a post this morning about writing your own fairy tale unblocked the energy and it flowed out of me like a flash flood! Thank you for sharing your awesome so brightly that I got where mine was hiding. xoS
Wow, just wow! That’s about all I can say. Go for it you Deva!
Love this–the writing, the message, the person writing it, the everything. Now, go kick some righteous ass.
Ellen Berg What does righteous ass look like exactly? 😉
Sandi Amorim Ellen Berg It’s any ass that requires kicking. They shine a little like an angel’s halo.
You’re brilliant, amazing, conscious, creative, FUNNY, crass, and all the other things I love about a person rolled into one. Thanks for sharing your story, for opening your heart, and for branding yourself with that visual reminder to kick someday in its hidee ho. 😉
Sabrina at MyMiBoSo Hmm, I like thinking of it as branding! Thanks for that 🙂
How amazing your are transforming before our very eyes! A wondrous fair tale indeed!
Sandra Pawula Your post played such a strong part in today’s breakthrough Sandra. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
I love you so hard, sister!
JennyBBones You are definitely a sister from another mother. So grateful for you.
thanks for the raw sharing, sandi. and for the reminder that all of it—joy, wisdom, peace, well-being, love—starts with us. me. and radiates outwards from there. what’s SO cool about this is that making a difference for others is a natural byproduct of bathing ourselves in honour, respect and love. big hug, sister. xo
JasonSugar I love the image of bathing ourselves in honour, respect and love. Thanks for that my friend. xoS
All I know is that ANYTHING that flows from you opening, listening to, and following that tender and beautiful heart of yours is going to be spectacular! Can’t wait to see the manifestations of this fairy tale. Love you!
LynnHess Thing is, we all get the call to open, listen and follow our hearts. What makes it possible for some to say yes more readily? I’m still not sure, and I certainly took my time in saying yes. Maybe it’s when the pain of tolerating the status quo becomes greater than the fear of moving forward!
My favorite part: “What she had on her side was a strong belief that every behaviour (including the lizardy kind) has a positive intention. And this belief helped her see it was not an attack, but a call to deepen her integrity.” Guess I must be working on some hella deep integrity. : ) Beautiful and inspiring as always. Congrats. Can’t wait to see how it unfolds for YOU!
itsleisa Hella deep? I’d say so 😉 At first I was looking at it as some major integrity out, which only left me feeling more and more disempowered. When I got that it was about going deeper, or expanding my integrity, it suddenly began to open up and make sense.
Sandi Amorim itsleisa Yes. Thanks for that. I am going to try that on in all the areas where I am stopped. I think I have been dancing around it, but this concept helps. I’m gonna have sit-down, kick-ass, no-holds-barred come-to-jesus meeting with the Lizard, and Mr. Integrity is going to attend and put in his two cents. We need to get these two to hash it out once and for all!
itsleisa Bottomline…what got us here won’t get us there! Frustrating, but also freeing.
itsleisa Bottomline…what got us here won’t get us there! Frustrating, but also freeing.
itsleisa Hella deep? I’d say so 😉 At first I was looking at it as some major integrity out, which only left me feeling more and more disempowered. When I got that it was about going deeper, or expanding my integrity, it suddenly began to open up and make sense.
Loved the call that came through. Be still. Share deeply. Write vulnerably. I so appreciate the stillness you take, the Deva in you that shares your words and vulnerability. You do shine bright and are an inspiration in which creates those you know you and follow you to shine. You are a blessing.
Loved the call that came through. Be still. Share deeply. Write vulnerably. I so appreciate the stillness you take, the Deva in you that shares your words and vulnerability. You do shine bright and are an inspiration in which creates those you know you and follow you to shine. You are a blessing.
MichaelGarvey Thank you for being here and for sharing such lovely thoughts. One day (not someday!) I will wander the land of the naked bear. xoS
Sandi Amorim MichaelGarvey The beauty of the West Kootenays, the serene environment of the Naked Bear and I look forward to your shine.
Vociferous! Brilliant!
Be still. Share deeply. Write vulnerably.
You shine so bright my friend! I am thrilled your light lands on me. xo