Years ago I read Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford, and I remember my surprise at realizing that someone was actually shining light on the parts of ourselves we try so hard to hide.
In her latest book Courage: Overcoming Fear and Igniting Self Confidence, she goes deeper right from the start as she asks, 
“How many times have you felt yourself shrink?”
“How many times have you kept your mouth shut when you wanted to scream loudly, or handed over your power to someone who didn’t have your best interests at heart?”
“How many times have you told yourself, ‘I can’t. I’m not strong enough. I”m not courageous or confident enough to be all that I desire to be?”
Because truth is, every day you’re confronted with situations that trigger thoughts like these, and the accompanying self-doubt.
Confronted too by opportunities and choices, hundreds of them, that can make you feel confident and strong or weak as a shrinking violet. Every one, a choice.
Are you owning that responsibility or living as a victim to it?
She writes that, “when we lack confidence, we feel unworthy of having what we want, of speaking the truth, of making decisions that improve our lives. When we feel weak, helpless, or powerless, we lack the strength to ward off the thoughts of defeat, negativity and fear that fill our minds and prevent us from moving forward and living in harmony with our deepest desires. ”
Courage provides steps to increasing confidence, and the possibility of living to our fullest potential.
“True courage comes not just from feeling confident and strong, but from being the honest, authentic expression of yourself.”
Debbie shares her personal journey with cancer, the wake-up call she needed to help her see where she herself had become stuck in life. Her raw honesty and vulnerability as she shares her story are rare traits, and make for a compelling read. Using the metaphor of a warrior, she digs deep to share the wisdom gained from confronting her own dark side while igniting the warrior long suppressed inside.
In particular I appreciated her perspective on the feminine warrior, offering the argument that as women we have turned away from the warrior energy, conditioned by society to settle instead for the role of damsel in distress.
But here’s the thing. . .
We are all born with the spirit of the warrior inside; a part of us that is determined and yes, aggressive when need be. But we are so conditioned to trade this sacred part of ourselves in for the approval of others and the illusion of femininity.
Have you had enough of that yet? I know I have.
I used to worry that I had too much warrior energy. Years of being told to “tone it down” made me doubt myself even though I had an inkling early on that a toned down life was not what I was born for.
As I read this paragraph, my spirit seemed to take flight to connect with the feminine warriors who have gone before:
“There is an aggressiveness of the feminine warrior that is a part of every woman’s heart – on fire with the justice of Rosa Parks; armed with the truth of divine love, like Joan of Arc; and capable of sourcing wisdom from the deepest well of her being, like Helen Keller.”
But Courage is not just a rallying cry for the feminine warrior. It is a call to live life fully, with heart and determination, and an acknowledgement of the gift you have to offer the world.
How does a courageous warrior live?
You live seeing your fears clearly, instead of pretending you have none.
You embrace your fears with honesty and courage, instead of hiding behind the stories of your past.
It is not always easy to live with courage and to find the warrior within. The world does not encourage this.
But in the face of this reality, will you step up as a warrior on behalf of your own future?
For that future depends on your vision. The future is calling for you to wake up each day with that vision staring you in the face and inspiring you to take action.
Or you could turn over and go back to sleep.
But that doesn’t take courage, it’s sadly pretty normal.
And aren’t you done with normal yet?
I say you are or you wouldn’t be here. You also know that to access your courage you’re going to have to do something different.
You have to accept that you have fears and then, embrace them.
Yup, that’s right. . .embrace. your. fears.
When you do so you’ll tap into a feeling of courage and confidence that will help you take the next step, then another and another, until you find yourself one day wondering how the hell you got there.
The irony is that courage is inside you from the beginning for you are born with heart.
Another paragraph that sent a shiver down my spine. . .
“The greatest act of courage is to be and to own all of who you are – without apology, without excuses, without masks to cover the truth of who you are.”
My God do you get that?
It is so out there, so audacious to believe in yourself like that!
It’s asking you to go against the conditioning of a lifetime where you were chastised for being who you are instead of celebrated.
Courage is about waking up each day, owning and being responsible for the gift you are to the world.
Courage is about loving yourself so well you are unafraid to toot your horn so that it attracts others.
Courage…
is a book that will shine the light on your fears, offering tools and processes along the way to ease the challenge of the journey.
And there’s no getting around that fact. It is a challenge.
Debbie shares her challenge, both with cancer and her dark side, alongside others’ stories, with each one offering wisdom and strategies for moving beyond.
The Codes of Courage are a series of exercises to guide you in the process. From learning to let go and surrender to a developing a heartful practice of compassion, the codes offer simple ways to implement the wisdom of Debbie Ford’s journey. Many of them inspired me to explore and write about things I’d long forgotten or suppressed, and bringing them to the surface provided both healing and completion.
Over to you:
The Code of Inspired Vision asks you to take a risk and do something you never thought you would do because of fear.
Right now, choose one thing that would totally expand your comfort zone and cause a breakthrough in courage.
Debbie Ford is the national bestselling author of Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Secret of the Shadow, Spiritual Divorce, The Right Questions, The Best Year of Your Life, Why Good People Do Bad Things, and The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse, and the coauthor of The Shadow Effect. More at www.debbieford.com
Hi Sandi,
Years ago I formed a book group around The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. It is a great book.
I think there’s a part of all of us who wants to be authentically who we are no matter what the consequences of that. Think of television shows where the character is not traditionally beautiful and intelligent and yet she/he ventures out and expresses their individuality and think about WHY we love watching these shows! I think we are being courageous vicariously through these characters. We want to BE them. And so we should.
How will I take a risk and “do something you never thought you would do because of fear.”? I’ll have to give that some thought!
Lori
@Lori That’s an interesting thought! If we’re afraid to take action or live authentically it makes sense that we live vicariously through TV and others. That would definitely explain the popularity of reality shows!
The book however, reminded me of the cost of suppressing our courage and heart. As for taking a risk, well, it’s time for me to keep my word to myself and start writing the book I want to write. Fear has definitely kept me from doing so, and that’s no longer ok!
@Lori That’s an interesting thought! If we’re afraid to take action or live authentically it makes sense that we live vicariously through TV and others. That would definitely explain the popularity of reality shows!
The book however, reminded me of the cost of suppressing our courage and heart. As for taking a risk, well, it’s time for me to keep my word to myself and start writing the book I want to write. Fear has definitely kept me from doing so, and that’s no longer ok!
It’s not a big thing to others, but it’s a big thing to me. Today I’m meeting my two partner teachers to go to the Apple store and buy an iPad with classroom funds. Why is this a courage expander? I’m trusting that I’ll figure out how to make it a useful tool for my classroom, and I’m spending money–I *hate* spending money. It feels scary. Even though I’ll be reimbursed from my classroom fund, it freaks me out.
BUT. I’m trusting that I’ll figure it all out, including how to integrate it into my SMARTboard and make it truly useful.
@Ellen Berg Woohoo! Every single time I hear how you show up as a teacher I’m blown away, and think how blessed those kids are to have you!
And hell YES to expanding courage! You will figure it out because it’s worth the effort (based on your values, of course!) and will make a difference. How could it not???
@Ellen Berg Woohoo! Every single time I hear how you show up as a teacher I’m blown away, and think how blessed those kids are to have you!
And hell YES to expanding courage! You will figure it out because it’s worth the effort (based on your values, of course!) and will make a difference. How could it not???
Shit! You’ve done it again, Sandi. Well, this time you had a little help from Debbie Ford. I almost can’t type fast enough because I want to go order Courage right now. I might even have to check out my local bookstores and see if I can get it in my hot little hands this afternoon.
But that’s not why I said, “Shit!” I said it because I know exactly how I need to respond to your challenge. I know exactly how I need to expand my comfort zone and make a breakthrough in courage. And I don’t want to do it. I need to have a very difficult conversation with an old friend and tell her how I’m feeling about the dynamics of our relationship. And it just so happens I’m spending the day with her tomorrow. So I have to do it SOON. Shit, shit, shit.
But I’m sick and tired of pretending I’m turning the other cheek and being the better person in the relationship when, if the truth be told, I’ve been scared to be authentic and in integrity with her for fear of the consequences — end of the friendship, her abandonment of me. However, every time I don’t speak my truth and don’t take care of myself, I am abandoning myself and damaging the friendship I have with myself. Frankly, my relationship with myself is much more important than any another relationship in my life, with the exception of the one with my Higher Power.
Shit, shit, shit. This is a tough one to hit the Post comment button on. Putting on my spiritual warrior outfit as I type . . . . . . . .
@Carol Hess Your spiritual warrior knows what to do and is audacious enough to do it!
@Sandi Amorim Yeah, yeah. That spiritual warrior of mine gets me into all sorts of trouble! She and Lizzie are in a constant jousting match. I never know who’s going to win on any given day.
Hey, no fair, I want some warrior energy too………..just don’t make me shave my legs…..
Whether it’s life, wisdom, maturity or something, I am much more prone to speak up and not wonder about ‘what if’ by letting things go unsaid.
I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin and getting to that point has certainly helped me to just do the best I can and not worry about the bs that really doesn’t matter anyway.
@bdorman264 Leg shaving is optional 😉
I love how comfortable you are in your skin and how you show up Bill! Maybe you could run a workshop and teach it to others?!
Kidding aside, I think men are more likely to own their courage (and warrior energy) then women. It’s conditioned out of us early on, and so it takes something to accept or believe we have it in adulthood. Or we make it about ‘acting like a man’ especially in business. I don’t think that’s necessary though. I think it’s about owning we all have it inside and knowing when to use it for the benefit of all!
This sounds like a truly inspiring book – thanks for taking the time to read and review it for the tour! I’m featuring your review on TLC’s Facebook page today.
@heathertlc I was delighted to be part of Debbie’s virtual book tour! Thanks for your kinds words and sharing!
Sandi, I love when you are LIT UP! I can feel you just shaking with that courage over there! And I REALLY love this:You embrace your fears with honesty and courage, instead of hiding behind the stories of your past.YES. YES. YES. Embrace to me is a big hug on those fears with honesty – not denying them but not hating on them either. Recognizing them for the gifs that they are – life’s little teachers.
And my one thing? I’m going to share my gifts with at least one new person each week, confidently and joyously. Hi fear – here’s a big hug :).
@Sabrina at MyMiBoSo Oh Sabrina, you know my friend lolaspeaking would love to hear about your hug!
Thing is our fears are never going to go away and we waste so much time there. It’s when we stop resisting, even embracing them, that breakthroughs occur.
Here’s to sharing our gifts courageously and with heart! xoS
Thanks once again @Sandi Amorim for another passionate kick in the butt. Fear is insidious because it poses as so many other things. I want to get a hold of this book and give this some deeper thought. I have a feeling I’m hiding fear behind some other ‘stories’, but it’s so well-hidden I don’t even recognize it!
@saraho Yes, we either hide behind our stories or try to eliminate the fear, and neither works very well as far as I can tell!
@saraho Yes, we either hide behind our stories or try to eliminate the fear, and neither works very well as far as I can tell!
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers is one of my all time favourtie reads, and it sounds from your sharing that Courage will fast join the list! Last night I spotted a huge fear, how it turned up surprised me, but that doesn’t matter, at least I got the lesson. I have wanted a dog or pup for so long now but couldn’t afford to buy one. Last night I was offered one, as a gift, a 12 week old Heinz 57 puppy. Initial euphoria quickly turned into despondency as I began to talk myself out of the opportunity, just in case I’d to give him away, couldn’t afford to look after him, found he stopped whatever travelling I might do ‘one day’! I found I’d a fear of commitment. This weekend’s work is facing it and embracing it to see how real it is.
@jackiewalker Wow, we’re on the same wavelength again! We’re looking after a friend’s dog this weekend, partly to help her out but also to see if we’re ready. He’s a great little fella, but doubts crept in this morning as I watched him sleep at the foot of our bed. Do we need another responsibility? Will I have to do all the work? etc. So I can totally understand your fear!
@jackiewalker Wow, we’re on the same wavelength again! We’re looking after a friend’s dog this weekend, partly to help her out but also to see if we’re ready. He’s a great little fella, but doubts crept in this morning as I watched him sleep at the foot of our bed. Do we need another responsibility? Will I have to do all the work? etc. So I can totally understand your fear!
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers is one of my all time favourtie reads, and it sounds from your sharing that Courage will fast join the list! Last night I spotted a huge fear, how it turned up surprised me, but that doesn’t matter, at least I got the lesson. I have wanted a dog or pup for so long now but couldn’t afford to buy one. Last night I was offered one, as a gift, a 12 week old Heinz 57 puppy. Initial euphoria quickly turned into despondency as I began to talk myself out of the opportunity, just in case I’d to give him away, couldn’t afford to look after him, found he stopped whatever travelling I might do ‘one day’! I found I’d a fear of commitment. This weekend’s work is facing it and embracing it to see how real it is.
Your review gave me goosebumps! One thing I’m working on RIGHT NOW is this: “Be and … own all of who you are – without apology.” I’m always apologizing, to the point where even my apologizing has lost its weight. I know I’ve got that feminine warrior in me — I just need to stop apologizing for it.
Fabulous review! Thanks for being on the tour!
Your review gave me goosebumps! One thing I’m working on RIGHT NOW is this: “Be and … own all of who you are – without apology.” I’m always apologizing, to the point where even my apologizing has lost its weight. I know I’ve got that feminine warrior in me — I just need to stop apologizing for it.
Fabulous review! Thanks for being on the tour!
Thanks Trish! I thoroughly enjoyed Debbie’s book and am still working through the exercises – my favourite kind of book, the kind that keeps on working on you long after you’ve read it!
Thanks Trish! I thoroughly enjoyed Debbie’s book and am still working through the exercises – my favourite kind of book, the kind that keeps on working on you long after you’ve read it!
Adding this book to my list now…Debbie Ford has been instrumental in helping me shine the light (and embrace) my darker bits and I now try to help others do the same….
Wonderful review…thank you!
@Jen Vertanen {The Wholehearted Life} I hear ya! Dark Side of the Light Chasers had a huge impact on me! I’ve loved Debbie’s work ever since 🙂
@Jen Vertanen {The Wholehearted Life} I hear ya! Dark Side of the Light Chasers had a huge impact on me! I’ve loved Debbie’s work ever since 🙂
Hi, Sandi!
I just followed you home from Bridget’s Peaces of Prosperity series – and jumped here from “Regrets of the Dying”. So happy to find another wonderful perspective on this adventure of Life!
@Debbie – I recently finished “Dark Side…” (again? I know I read at least part of it when I got it, 10+ years ago) and have taken Neale’s advice, and started reading it again.
To recognize and accept *all* the parts of ourselves that we’ve spent so much time and energy stuffing, denying or even fearing, is an incredibly courageous, liberating and invigorating action to take. Thank you for sharing your Journey(s) with us!
Bright Blessings ~ .
@Karen J Thanks so much for your thoughts Karen. Welcome!
@Karen J Thanks so much for your thoughts Karen. Welcome!