Back in my art school days, there were always students trying to emulate the über cool New York art scene. Their clothes, their attitudes, and most especially their art cried out, “Look at how arty and cool we are!”
I laughed because somehow I knew that trying so hard to look cool and be a rebel did not a rebel make.
One of our professors used to tell us often,
“You’ve got to know the rules to break the rules.”
Their mindset however was more “break the rules to break the rules” or rebellion for its own sake.
It seemed a superficial rebellion, and I wasn’t interested in that.
So I kept my head down and did things my way. I didn’t waste my time fighting against them or the ‘rules’ but instead focused my time and energy on what I wanted.
I became a covert rebel, flying under the radar, free to do what I wanted and it worked pretty well.
Fast forward to present day; I’m in the midst of rebranding and it’s not an easy process. In a way, it feels like I’m rebranding my life, not just my business.
You see, I’m about to turn 50 and while there’s no midlife crisis happening, there is a transformation in process and what’s coming up everywhere I look is the rebel.
Could it be at the golden age of 50 it finally feels right, and even necessary, to lead the rebellion?
My rebel’s always been there, in charge and committed to living my core values of freedom and integrity, but is it time for her to step out and into the spotlight?
“A little rebellion now and then is a good thing.” – Thomas Jefferson
And then I found myself wondering if we all have a rebel inside.
So I asked this question in my communities. . .
What does it mean to you personally to be a rebel?
Here’s what I heard in response:
Being a rebel means,
- following my own nose instead of the crowd’s nose
- being myself and following my own rules
- being me, not who they think I should be
- acting from my place of being, not the societal standard
- being willing to question, disagree, and choose a different path
- it’s about integrity, showing up with all my values intact
- living in what I want instead of what society tells me I should want
- making my own rules, always checking in to see if my values and integrity are in line
- moving beyond the social norms, the shoulds, etc.
- listening to inner guidance instead of outside rules
- living life truthfully
- having the guts and tenacity to go after my dreams
- letting my quirky freak flag fly
I was moved by the vulnerability and courage of these thoughts, and it seemed more true than ever that we all have a rebel inside.
“With rebellion, awareness is born.” – Albert Camus
These days I find myself struggling with the word rebel … I think it’s because I feel why should I rebel in order to be me. I kind of want to just stick my feet in the ground and say enough is enough, I am enough and I have no wish to rebel against anything, just let go and be me!
Jackie Walker My point exactly. It’s not about rebelling or fighting against something, but rather a stepping into or taking a stand FOR something!
Jackie Walker I get your point exactly! I used to be loud and somewhat outrageous in my early/mid-20s, this calmed down as I got older, learning who I am in my 30s and stepping into working on being my best self in my 40s. I’ve noticed you can “quietly” rebel by simply being fully YOU.
Thanks for the discussion Sandi Amorim! What would be good in a pogram/service? Helping peeps figure out WHO they are so they can more fully be themselves – no more trying to fit others’ ideas of who we should be 🙂
KateBacon Hmm, how to become more fully ourselves…
I like the sound of that! Thanks Kate 🙂
I love my rebel. She is a huge part of me, directly tied to my need for freedom. The only thing that keeps me from embracing that as my personal archetype is my need to help others find their own path to freedom.
I will say that my rebel has been suppressed at work over the past couple of years in a way it never has been before. I got stung pretty hard–unfairly–and I withdrew. Before then I’d always been the person to point out the elephant relieving himself in the middle of the carpet. The outlier who asked lots of questions and challenged a lot of sacred cows. Probably not beloved, but definitely respected and grudgingly appreciated.
I see that as I withdrew as a warrior (is that what a rebel turned outward is?), I also withdrew in my classroom. I’ve taken fewer risks and have been more apt to go along to get along. The result? Rethinking what has always been the greatest joy in my life. Shrinking.
It’s taken me some time to see this, of course. I guess what I’d really love by way of a service or learning is how to recover from those stings. How do we cultivate resilience and continued bravery? How do we combat that feeling of aloneness that comes with exercising our inner rebel? How do we stay vulnerable instead of closing up tightly like a regressing flower?
I’m working on it, but I still feel crippled and hesitant.
Ellen Berg Thank you Ellen, you’ve given me so much to think about. I’m really committed to creating something of value, something that will help people with this. And I’m wondering…
How have you cultivated resilience in the past?
Sandi Amorim Well…my Give-a-Shit was out of order for a long time. Teaching in a district where I had tenure helped (though I am not in favor of tenure for other reasons). Not sure how to re-disable my G.A.S.
I totally get you, Sandi. During my early years (yeah, I am about a 100 years) conformity was a given. While the mind rebelled, the rebellion could never be translated to action. So it was often a case of thoughts never coordinating with deeds. In school, part of the problem was the fear of being beaten. That hurts. Luckily, true rebellion and the tendency to be a maverick do not hide for long. And everything worked out fine. 😀 And for the times I cannot do exactly as I like, I’ve learned to be serene and smile.
Lovely post! Hugs!
Vidya Sury Ahh Vidya, thanks for this. I think we take rebellion for granted as a right in North America, even though it’s not always appreciated. But as you said, true rebellion (which I think is always about making a difference) can not be suppressed for long.
I have been a rebel most of my life. When I picture my rebel I see a lttle kid with blonde, blonde hair dressed in a dress (it was the 50’s after all) I did things my own way and I stood up for what I believed in. I got expelled from school at 15 because I did not take harassment from a boy in my class. I lost my rebel when I was married to a man who did not rock the boat under any circumstances. I was told I laughed too loud, I didn’t behave like his sister and so it went.
In the last few years my rebel is back. As fiesty as ever. Now I know who I am I do not change for anyone. I revel in my REBEL!!! It is a word that truly describes who I am. No apologies. What you see is what you get.
Joanna Saunders Revel in the Rebel! Sounds like a program name 🙂
Joanna Saunders Love that you’re owning your fiesty rebel – what a great place to have got to!
I’ve always thought of a rebel as being those ‘bad biker boy’ types! 🙂 And someone who is contrary! No matter what, they’ll go the other way. But I’m starting to get that a true rebel is someone who finds their own truth, who chooses unknown paths, who lets themselves feel vulnerable, who has trust in themselves and is not afraid to take a stand.
And it makes me realize my ‘not being a rebel’ thing was something I’ve hidden behind. I too have been slapped down – and even in NZ we got hit a lot for not conforming – at home and at school in the 50s and 60s.
And in recent years I’ve been slapped down – not physically but emotionally, and that made me pull back again. I notice my tendency to withdraw when I feel vulnerable. And hearing about Brene Brown’s spiritual breakdown I’m sort of hoping we don’t all need to go through that to find the other side.
Vicky White Perhaps the spiritual breakdown is only necessary when we’ve resisted for a long time, as Brene shares herself. Owning that, yes, there is a rebel inside is I think the first step.
When I read all those statements from people who responded to my question, it really felt like an a-ha of epic proportions. One that thrills me, I might add 😉
Hi Sandi,
There’s a rebel in all of us …sometimes he/she hides …sometimes he/she comes out to play.
Play is good … hope you have fun
be good to yourself
David
Life Coach. Listener. Life Lover.
Sandi, Only people who have a rebel archetype and it really stands out as a major life theme are the ones I’d probably call “rebels.” Based on the ideas above for what rebel means, it puts a different spin on it. That’s more like being a nonconformist (yourself) because you’re totally disinterested in what other people might think and completely engaged in what you feel. Maybe some people would consider me one on that basis because I write the blog I write. I will admit to saying exactly what I think, unless it invades someone else’s privacy, and saying.”The hell with it,” in regular life often. I would definitely not consider myself a rebel, though! I wouldn’t even know what to rebel against anymore unless we’re talking popular culture, unfairness, inequality… OK yeah I see your point 🙂
Julie | A Clear Sign My point (and it’s still emerging, so hang in there with me!) is that a true rebel fights FOR something that’s important to them, not necessarily or as we’ve come to expect, fighting against.
From that perspective I do believe we all have an aspect of the rebel inside. And then there are those of us who fully resonate with the rebel archetype (more limiting.)
I think it takes a rebel to be non-conformist, don’t you? 😉