Values are underrated.
Underrated and underused, even in the world of personal development.
You might find people talking about them, but do they give you practical ways to use them in your day-to-day life?
The key is to work with your values often, not just as a once-through exercise, but as an ongoing practice to impact the quality of your life.
Not satisfied? ==> Check in with your values.
Work not fulfilling? ==> Check in with your values.
Relationship in a rut? ==> Check in with your values.
But it’s not enough to know what they are; like any knowledge or tool, you have to use your values to get the full benefit.
Like an internal compass, your values keep you aligned with what you say is important in your life, and can boost any goal or intention you have, making it much more effective and way more enjoyable.
“One must give value to their existence by behaving as if ones very existence were a work of art.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Values help you stand out from the crowd, and make your life and business hum with an inner confidence that is compelling.
Why? Because knowing and honouring your values gives you clarity on:
- what’s truly important to you
- how to share your gifts
- and what actions will help you thrive!
Your values guide you, your feelings fuel the journey.
Like them, maybe you think you already know all you need to know about your values, but also like them, you might be pleasantly surprised!
How do you use your values to thrive?
Step 1: Know your values
Maybe like some of our cohorts, you’ve done values work before. But are your values alive and real in your day-to-day life? Do you even remember what they are?
Here’s the Values Alignment Exercise I use with clients to help keep them focused on what’s important.
“Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ‘em all over everything you do.” – Elvis Presley
Step 2: Use your values
Einstein said, “Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”
Now that you know what your values are, do you understand how to use them in your life and business?
Consider your top 3 values. How can they guide your business decisions?
Example: My top 3 values are integrity, freedom and play. I’ve come up with 3 key questions to help me remember them as I make choices for my business.
Integrity: Does this choice align with my integrity and will it help me make a difference?
Freedom: Will this choice generate income and free me up to be, do and have what’s important?
Play: Will this choice lead to fun, play and laughter?
To fully honour my values, I need to have 2 of those 3 answers be YES.
Decision making just got a whole lot easier, right?
“There are four questions of value in life… What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living ‘for’, and what is worth dying for?” – Johnny Depp
Step 3: Live your values
If you’re suffering in any part of your life and business, it’s a sign that you’ve gone off track and you’re not living your values.
Not a problem though when you create a practice, using your values as an ongoing guide. Go back to the exercise and review the behaviour column. You’ll see very clearly where there’s a disconnect.
“You need to find a way to live your life, that it doesn’t make a mockery of your values.” – Bill Ayers
There was a time when I questioned creativity, which I’d uncovered as one of my core values. In doing the exercise I realized it wasn’t that it was no longer a value, but rather I’d become disconnected from how important it was to me.
There’s a saying, “When you know better, you do better.”
Knowing (and remembering) how important creativity was helped me make better choices; choices that created a new more fulfilling feeling of alignment in my life that rippled out into every area.
When you remember what’s important you’ll make wiser choices that lead, not only to feeling good, but also to producing results.
Knowing isn’t enough, but when you combine knowing, using and living your values you’ve got a formula for thriving in life and business.
And really, isn’t that what we’re here for?
Couldn’t agree more Sandi. I like to think about values as being like a compass. Makes decision making so much easier and helps to avoid problems and heading off in the wrong direction.
Like you, it concerns me how often this is overlooked even in the personal development world as values are the foundation on which a fulfilling life and business are built
Ali_Davies You are speaking my language sister! Even when I have seen values written about it’s usually from a very superficial place; except for Tim Brownson who goes really deep with values work.
Imagine what would happen if people really did use them like a compass or internal GPS?
Hi Sandi,
I did the Values Alignment Exercise – cool! I was a little surprised to see the order of my values. Not about Family, of course – I knew that was there. But the rest were a bit eye-opening.
Thank you for the three questions for decision-making. You’ve given me a lot to think about!
Lori
Lori Eye-opening is feedback I love to hear Lori! I go through the exercise at least once a year to keep me on track, and I’m always in awe of how things shift, and what is uncovered. It’s like people another layer back from the onion!
Sandi Amorim Lori Interesting that it changes yearly! This may be something to record in my yearly journal along with books read and friendships nurtured!
Lori To clarify, my values don’t change yearly. They deepen, new insights show up, the words may change slightly, but the values themselves remain pretty constant.
I check in with my values almost daily and since I began doing so have noticed a huge shift in my experience. I’m not kidding when I say they can act like an internal GPS keeping you on track! 🙂
I have my values written out in pretty script on individual pieces of paper and keep them visible as a reminder and a touchstone as I go about my day. But I love the idea of drafting a series of questions that help guide my decisions. It just brings a bit more intention to the process–and intention and attention always seems to bring about good things!
Erica Holthausen I do the same, as well as writing them in the front of every journal I use! It was coming up with the questions though that really fueled living my values. They’re written on my whiteboard so I see them every day when I walk into my office! 🙂
love the line feelings fuel your journey Sandi – oh so true. Feelings are totally the secret to living the life of our dreams.
Super post.
Love Elle
xoxo
ElleSommer I can’t even remember how many workshops and trainings insisted “You are not your feelings” when it turns out we really are! So my primary goal each day is to feel good; the rest seems to follow from there. 🙂
Hi Sandi,
Fine work here. I have found many clients don’t know their Values. They are consequently out of alignment. My Values exercise is much simpler in it’s detail and it’s a real wake up when clients go thru this. Your exercise looks to be very effective…congrats
Be good to yourself
David
David Stevens Thanks David. I’ve reworked that exercise many times, adding to it as I see what’s missing for clients. And of course, I keep testing it on myself 😉
Hi Sandi. I loved the Values Alignment Exercise – which I just finished! The visual of the wheel really helped and then taking it a step further with rating Importance and Behavior. It really becomes crystal clear what I’m prioritizing and what could use some work. Thank you for the work you put into this and for sharing it with us.
tammyrenzi Awesome, so glad you got value from the exercise! And yes, taking that one step deeper with the Importance/Behaviour comparison is a huge eyeopener!
For me, this deeper look at my values means being more open and “real” with my readers. One of my highest values is and has always been honesty, coupled with justice, and I believe that (and we’ve just talked about this) in this online world of “perfection”, being real and sometimes even raw is essential. I think that if you’re aligned with your values, you will instantly be more balanced and your career and life will “fall into place” easier than before.
anneso87 It’s a fine line, isn’t it though? How to show up and be real, share what we’re going through without seeming like a diary or online journal. Almost every time I thought I’d shared too much, I received feedback that encouraged it even more. Clearly it’s a line I’m still learning to balance myself 🙂
Sandi Amorim yes, it absolutely is. Yet, as long as you’re true to yourself and stick to what feels right to you, you can’t go wrong, I think.