“Amidst life’s busyness, we need ways to slow down, turn our attention within, and reconnect with ourselves.” – Karen Horneffer-Ginter
Self-care, for almost everyone I’ve worked with in over a decade, is an ongoing challenge. For the purpose of this post I use the term self-care to refer to the care of mind, body and spirit.
For many, the challenge is obvious, showing up in the physical: do they get enough sleep, does their diet nourish them, etc.
For others, the majority it often seems, the challenge reveals itself in the emotional or spiritual realms, which is not as easily seen or remedied.
Full Cup, Thirsty Spirit is a book that speaks directly to this challenge.
Written by Karen Horneffer-Ginter, it touches on the most personal and challenging aspects of self-care in a world that often has us running like a hamster on a wheel.
“We live in a world of constant movement, and our day-to-day lives seem to get busier by the hour. Our days are full of information, full of obligations, full of friends and family, full of everything…except fulfillment.”
This statement is true for far too many people. The busyness and stressors of daily life can easily become overwhelming, and self-care is usually the first thing to go when faced with a time or energy crunch.
So, how do you deal with this challenge?
Horneffer-Ginter offers six steps, appropriately called shifts, to help you find your way.
Like me, she does not believe in a one-size-fits-all solution and while offering very sound strategies for nourishing the soul, she also stresses the importance of allowing for personal preferences.
“I will not chase only one view, I will not sit in just one pew, I will not wear a cross or fish, or a Buddha, or a goddess holding a dish.” – Dr. Seuss
You’ve got to discover what works best for you.
As a coach I’ve read many books and resources on self-care, and frankly, I wasn’t expecting any new revelations. But I was pleasantly surprised by the simple grace of Horneffer-Ginter’s writing.
Instead of offering a quick fix of the 4 hour variety, she invites us gently forward to discover what it takes to nourish our soul. It is a book I wish I’d had years ago, during person struggles.
The book’s content is organized around six key shifts:
Honoring Our Rhythms
- How do your body and soul want you to live?
- What are they craving?
Turning Within
- What would a conscious retreat from doing look like for you?
- What would be an ideal way of stepping out of life?
Filling Up
- What are your beliefs and attitudes about self-care?
- What do you most need?
Fully Inhabiting Our Days
- How can you bring what you find during your time within back into your day-to-day life?
- How are you showing up in life?
Remembering Lightness
- Where in your life could you use some humour and lightness?
- What are some ways of lightening up?
Embracing Difficulty
- What difficult feelings do you tend to push away?
- What would it be like to be kind to yourself?
Each shift offers practices that encourage deep exploration, and Horneffer-Ginter’s questions invite time alone.
Finally, she weaves the shifts skillfully together in a way that makes the process of change less daunting.
“In order to bring balance to our system, we need the opposite of what we’ve been immersed in.” – KHG
The care and balance of the mind, body, and spirit can often feel elusive.
Full Cup, Thirsty Spirit offers tools that can lead to a more balanced way of caring for ourselves in a holistic way. More than a book, it can become a companion to guide you through life’s challenges.
Karen Horneffer-Ginter is the Co- founder of the Center for Psychotherapy and Wellness in Kalamazoo, Michigan and has been practicing psychology and teaching yoga and contemplative practices for more than 16 years. She can be found at www.fullcupthirstyspirit.com and www.karenhg.com.
This sounds like one I’d like to read! Thanks for sharing this Sandi! I can resonate with all of the shifts, but I think the one that is most compelling is ‘fully inhabiting our days’ – bringing the inspiration that comes curing introspection, meditation and prayer back into daily life. An ongoing challenge once all the busy-ness and anxiety kicks in! I’m finding that a ‘breath break’ helps – even if it’s just one or two breaths.
saraho That’s often the most challenging, I agree. I know I’ve often come back from a retreat feeling so optimistic and inspired, only to slide down the slippery slope to busy within days. I think that’s why it’s called a practice 🙂
Living on overwhelm used to be my ongoing style. Not unusual in modern times! I like the phrasing of all six of these shifts, but lightening up is especially a great reminder for me. Very informative book review, Sandi.
Sandra Pawula Me too Sandra, and it can still sometimes sneak up on me! In spite of the burnout it usually brings, there’s a kind of satisfaction to the busyness addiction that I occasionally fall prey to. It’s definitely an ongoing process.
Hi Sandi, I love this one,”How are you showing up in life?” That is a POWERFUL question. I’ll bet if you asked 1000 people, they would immediately go straight to 1000 different problem areas, because that’s what our minds seem to like to do. So it’s how are you NOT showing up, followed by what is unique about you, what are you bringing to the world, what are you proud of.
Julie | A Clear Sign Sometimes folks have to see what they’re moving away from before they can choose what to move towards 🙂
Looks like an interesting book, thanks for the recommendation! Out of the six, I think my biggest challenge is turning in, especially right now. Even though I identify as an introvert, I find it quite difficult to switch from being focused on outward activity, productivity and connection to looking inwards and just being for a few moments. My small shift is going to be turning off my laptop tonight. That should help 🙂
Hannah BWYA It always starts with small shifts!
This sounds like a rich book — the kind I want to have in my permanent library. Thanks for bringing it to our attention, Sandi. The shift that resonates with me right now is embracing difficulty. The feeling I most push away is vulnerability — and that means I find it very difficult to ask for help because I feel vulnerable when doing so. The other feeling I most push away is powerfulness. My own power scares the bejesus out of me for some reason, and I push it away by playing small and hiding. I’m drawing a blank when it comes to one small change I can begin today. Any suggestions?
Carol Hess What comes to mind is allowing, even embracing vulnerability. How does that resonate with you?
Sandi Amorim Carol Hess That resonates with me, but I’m not quite sure how to go about it. Maybe allowing myself to ask for help and not close down when I feel vulnerable?
Turning within….
I started a retreat last night (different from how I usually approach this – meaning switching off totally from ordinary life for a week or two at a time). This year I am doing 1-2 guided retreat sessions per day at the Buddhist Centre and working in between. After 90 minutes this morning I feel completely peaceful and ready to handle anything 🙂 x
KateBacon What a lovely idea Kate! I too usually retreat by taking a week off and disappearing, unplugging completely, but that’s also what makes it so hard to integrate when I return. Love the idea of weaving retreat sessions throughout the day!
Interesting book. I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I need and comparing it to what I want. The idea is to determine which is which and then build a plan to make the need part happen and focus on the want later.
Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes Intriguing distinction Josh. Not sure if it’s the same for men, but it seems women often neglect their needs. I know for the longest time I resisted anything that looked or felt needy, and I disliked asking for help.
Nowadays, I”m much more comfortable acknowledging my needs and asking for what I want, but it’s definitely been a long journey!
Taking it all too seriously can get me Sandi…thank goodness my husband is a comic so I get to laugh a lot. But the lightness idea totally speaks to me. Thanks for sharing what seems to be a great book.
Love Elle
xoxo
ElleSommer Oh yes Elle, the lightness totally speaks to me too! Life works so much better when I laugh a lot and lighten up in general. Thank God for the comics in our lives 🙂
They all resonate with me on a level…but especially THIS one as I often have such a beautiful practice of BEING but then trip up a bit when I infuse that into my DOING of life:
Fully Inhabiting Our DaysHow can you bring what you find during your time within back into your day-to-day life?How are you showing up in life?
Sabrina at MyMiBoSo Ahh yes, bringing the being back into the real world after a retreat. That is my greatest challenge as well. Let’s work on it together, shall we? xoS
Sandi Amorim Deal 🙂
Thank you so much, Sandi, for your thoughtful and kind review! What an amazing community you’ve created here. I just love reading through people’s comments and reflections. A deep bow of respect for the ways you are bringing people together and the really cool people who are showing up! With gratitude, Karen Horneffer-Ginter
KarenHornefferGinter It was my pleasure Karen. As I said in the post, I was surprised by how your book offered a different perspective on self-care. It’s full of so many great questions and exercises that I’m sure will inspire future posts!
My husband helps me on a daily basis to “Remember Lightness”. I really feel like he helps me be less serious and more light by reminding me that there’s humor to be found in everything. Sometimes a nudge to lighten up is all I need!
Such a great discussion about this book. I’m thrilled you were on the tour!
My husband helps me on a daily basis to “Remember Lightness”. I really feel like he helps me be less serious and more light by reminding me that there’s humor to be found in everything. Sometimes a nudge to lighten up is all I need!
Such a great discussion about this book. I’m thrilled you were on the tour!
Trish @ TLC Thanks for inviting me to this tour Trish! I loved KarenHornefferGinter’s book and it was perfect, given that self-care is such a challenge for people I work with. Most people, if truth be told!
And thank God for those nudges to lighten up, wherever they come from! 😉