I got nothing.
These words take me by surprise. They lurk – in my awareness and energy.
I don’t like them and I don’t want them here.
Surprising because I’ve just come from a silent retreat that nourished my soul, and provided time to rest and room to breathe.
But no words show up to fill the space.
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” – James Baldwin
Until now.
It takes admitting what’s so. Saying the words you don’t want to say.
I got nothing.
You’ve got them too, don’t you? Those times that feel blank, lost, frustrating.
Who wants to admit being there?
Not me.
And yet, I shine the light on this dark, shadowy place; a place we do our best to avoid.
Because here’s the thing about ‘walking the talk’…
You can’t just do it when it looks good.
You can’t just do it when it looks like you’ve got it all handled.
Walking the talk is an ongoing proposition. It takes going deep into the ‘beingness’ of human being.
It’s in those moments when things don’t look or feel good; those moments that call you down to the depths, where all there is to do is. . .
Until you realize you do have something to share, something to offer and hopefully, make a difference for someone else.
That moment when you get from nothing to something. . .
and remember once again where real transformation lives.
Brava. 🙂
PJProductivity The comments on my FB update did the trick! That or the llamas snuck in and smacked me upside the head!
Sandi Amorim I wouldn’t doubt it. Those llamas can be sneaky little things. 😀
There’s a lot that goes on underground in the desert, Sugar. Glad you are the tenacious, trysting type.
whollyjeanne Trysting or trusting? Either way works my friend 😉
I’m right there with ya, sister. But I’m not sure if all the space we create needs to be filled up with anything at all. At least that’s my story at the moment, not sure if I’ll be sticking to it.
Now feels like a time of deep and powerful introspection. I’m going with that, and just letting be what must be. Not necessarily a comfie feeling, certainly not a familiar one. But when all the push and hustle comes to a halt, we’re left with what really matters. Sometimes, this is silence. I love your words. In every form you share them.
JennyBBones I hear (and feel) you. And it is uncomfortable. Not to be with the silence, because that part I love. What’s uncomfortable is being with the uncertainty, not knowing what’s next. Being with the unknown, which of course is where the transformation awaits. Like the cocoon in its shell, I/we must be patient.
Sandi Amorim Yes, there’s the “P” word again, Keeps coming up for me. P…p…p…atience. Yeah, I can do this.
Heard this recently and thought it applied here too:
Though much is taken, much abides; and thoughWe are not now that strength which in old daysMoved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;One equal temper of heroic hearts,Made weak by time and fate, but strong in willTo strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.Ulysses, Lord Alfred Tennyson. October 20th, 1833.
Joshua Wilner/A Writer Writes Thanks for sharing Josh. Those words are powerful and timeless.
I always find that saying the words I don’t want to say opens the door to something, even when it feels like there’s nothing. And yeah, DO THE WORK. I come up against this so often. And the truth is, doing the work is the only way through.
I love your words Sandi, and the generosity with which you share them.
TriciaKarp Sometimes I really wish that doing the work was not the only way through. Too many attempts otherwise have taught me the truth of this though, and the power of surrender.
I was reminded again today listening to Jenny Bones’ interview of Staci Boden on Blog Talk Radio that one of the hardest things in the world to do is to follow the energy (or lack thereof) and not get out in front of it. The silence, the void is such an uncomfortable place to be. And yet isn’t that where potentiality (and, yes, the seeds of transformation) lie? Sometimes doing the work is doing nothing. And the only way out is through. Loved this post, Sandi.
Carol Hess Ahh Carol, these words “Sometimes doing the work is doing nothing.” soothe my soul. Thank you.
Carol Hess Ahh Carol, these words “Sometimes doing the work is doing nothing.” soothe my soul. Thank you.
Amen sister. Just been through that cycle recently myself. I have come to see those times in my life as just that – a cycle. A bit like the tides – they ebb and flow.
Ali_Davies Yes, they come and go, and it’s good to remember that because when you’re going through it, it feels like forever!
Amen sister. Just been through that cycle recently myself. I have come to see those times in my life as just that – a cycle. A bit like the tides – they ebb and flow.
Sandi, this is one of the biggest lessons you’ve taught me, and you’ve taught it not only by writing about it, as you’ve done today, but by literally living it. I see you when you write from the heart, when you’re feeling your lowest, when you may not trust yourself but just do it anyway. So thank you for this and more importantly for always living such an amazing example through your life.
Sabrina at MyMiBoSo Your words touch my heart Sabrina. It can be a very uncomfortable way to live, but it’s the way that works best for me and I appreciate that in sharing it openly I can hopefully help others. It’s not always easy (rarely in fact!) but it’s worth the effort.
Sabrina at MyMiBoSo Your words touch my heart Sabrina. It can be a very uncomfortable way to live, but it’s the way that works best for me and I appreciate that in sharing it openly I can hopefully help others. It’s not always easy (rarely in fact!) but it’s worth the effort.
I read so many different messages in this post, all of which have been popping up in more and more ways, and in more and more places. I’ve even delivered these message several times over the last few weeks. But I know these messages are also meant for me . . . and I know that what I am reading in this post is more a reflection of where I am in my journey than what you actually wrote. For me the message is fairly simple. It’s time to let go. It’s time for me to sit with the uncertainty. It’s time to let go of what I think I *should* be so that I can more fully step into who I really am as a business owner and human being. It’s time for me to embrace my vulnerability.
Erica Holthausen Uncertainty and vulnerability are words that people often try to avoid, but letting go and surrendering to them is the doorway to possibilities that are hidden from our view. Doing what it takes to get through is a challenging path, but hopefully we’ll meet up with other likeminded souls along the way!