I Am NOT Sorry

 

dancing child

Three years old and owning the dance floor!

I am NOT sorry for. . .

dancing by myself on the dance floor, at 3 or now

being intense and passionate and sometimes “too much”

being a girl/woman with strong opinions

hitting that boy in grade 3 when he called me stupid

having a voice and using it

unleashing my Lola and yours

upsetting an uncle by telling the truth when he asked my opinion

loving people as much as I do, even when they mess up

leaving a great opportunity when my boss was an asshole

 

I am NOT sorry for. . .

poo-poohing superficial communication

talking to strangers

being selfish instead of selfless – I am not a martyr

my wit and humour, and sometimes sarcasm

disobeying the rules

taking a stand for what I want

asking you to choose now over someday

NOT sorry for that at all.

 

I am also NOT sorry for. . .

crying easily and often

sharing and loving more than “acceptable”

writing what’s in my heart

calling bullshit when I hear it

disagreeing with the status quo

leading more than following

refusing to settle

I want what I want and sorry be damned!

 

Most of all, I am NOT sorry for. . .

being curious about you, life, and what makes us tick

asking questions when I don’t understand

discomfort – there’s no  magic in the comfort zone! 

growing and learning and wanting the best out of life

being bold and full of moxie

laughing loud, often and unabashedly

being a demand for love, intimacy and connection in my relationships

pursuing my dreams, even though some have not worked out

shining bright and asking you to do the same

loving so deeply I thought I would die when it ended

and having the courage to love again.

 

I am NOT sorry for turning 49 today.

Every single thing that’s happened in my life, whether I enjoyed it or not, has caused me to grow, transform and become more myself than I ever thought possible.

And I am so NOT sorry for that.

 

61 conversations started on “I Am NOT Sorry

  1. Happy birthday, Sandi! I’m so glad you’re not sorry to be who you are and are bold enough to call it like you see it. 🙂

  2. Happy birthday, Sandi! I’m so glad you’re not sorry to be who you are and are bold enough to call it like you see it. 🙂

  3. Happy Birthday!  And I am so glad that you are not sorry for any of those things above because I admire you even more BECAUSE of those things.  Why do we apologize for being our true selves?  That’s store-brand baloney if you ask me.
     
    Me?  I’m not sorry for being a snort-laugher when something tickles me.  I laugh with my whole being and I LIKE IT that way!

  4. Happy Birthday big sister!!  Glad you’re NOT sorry because all of the above is exactly what makes you YOU and I love you very much.  Many more NOT sorry years to come!! xo
     

  5. Happy Birthday, Sandi! I’m teared up as I read this — what a gorgeous, meaning-FULL birthday poem!
     
    First thing I thought looking at your little girl picture was the song: You must’ve been a beautiful baby, coz baby look at you now.  — and yeah, I realize that my thought was backward — but still: beautiful then, beautiful now! 

  6. Happy Birthday Fiery Aries! I’M sure not sorry that you are who you are! Love how you burn through all the bullshit – here an always. Have a gorgeous day!

  7. I love that picture of you!  I hope you celebrate today with just as much fun and abandon! I’m so glad that I met you and have had the chance to learn a bit about how to live for today and always remember that someday isn’t on my calendar!  You taught me that!!  
    Celebrate!

  8. I am not sorry for reaching out and connecting with such a beautiful ball of fire. That’s you, Sandi!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! 

  9. Happy Birthday Sandi! What a beautiful toast to a life lived well so far and how wonderful that it was you who wrote it!
    🙂
    Lori

    1.  
        @Lori Well you know I encourage others to toot their horns so I have to toot my own sometimes! And it’s been a pretty great life so far 🙂 

  10. Love this Sandi! I turn 49 next week love knowing we are the same age. As Lori said, this is a beautiful toast to your wonderful life. Looking forward to knowing you for the next 49!!!

  11. Ever the Aries!! Turns out we are 366 days apart in age since I’ll be 50 tomorrow. Love your fire, moxie and humo(u)r. ;-D Keep on owning the dance floor!

    1. Ack! Did I mess hat up? Are we 364 days apart? You were born the day before my 1st birthday, right? Yes, my 49 and 364/365 year old brain thinks that’s right. 🙂

      1. Oh, geez! Now I messed up that by writing hat. Well, you know what? I’M NOT SORRY.

  12. Wow! You are on FIRE with this post straight from the truth of Sandi.  What an absolutely f**king perfect way to start your 49th year.  Woo hoo!

  13. It never ceases to amaze me what the person we used to be used to feel sorry for – what a lovely alive post this is, and a wee nudge I think I’ll give more than a passing nod to 🙂 

  14. Love this.  No apologies for who you are and all that awesomeness.  I think I might have been a day late, but happy b-day.  

  15. Your sincere lack of apology is one of the reasons I adore you so muc. Happy birthday, beauty!

  16. Love this Sandy – I heard a joke once that Canadians say sorry when someone else bumps into them in the street.  Lately I’ve been noticing myself doing that – must be a true Canadian now!  But really, I love your list – there is nothing you need be sorry for, me neither.  Thanks for the wonderful reminder – and I’m sending you yummy birthday wishes for the coming year of awesomeness!  Thanks for being in my life.

    1.  @Vicky White It is funny how Canadians are known for being so polite! I’ve also found it more of a gender issue. Women seem to apologize a whole lot more than men. 
       
      Apologize, placate, stand back…well, I’m tired of it and I’m really NOT sorry about that 😉

  17. Oh my god…………….. you’ve inspired me! I love this. And ADORE the pic of you dancing as a 3-year old :))) Beyond cute!

  18. Happy happy Birthday, Sandi! I’m not sorry for any of those things — in fact I’m hugely grateful that you did/are/felt them, and that you shared them here. Thank you! And keep on being your wonderful self.

  19. wow, sandi—you’ve got some great “not sorry for’s” in there… i especially like, “being a demand for love, intimacy and connection in my relationships” and “pursuing my dreams, even though some have not worked out”. thanks for being such a powerful stand for yourself—and for us. love you! (oh, and happy birthday once again!) xo

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