Day 28 – Vocabulary
If you could eliminate one word from your brain forever—what would it be?
If you’ve read anything I’ve written the past year or even just my online bio, you’ll know that the word I’d eliminate is someday.
some·day
– at some unspecified time in the (distant) future
How I detest that word.
It lets you off the hook, not responsible for your life and makes me cringe with distaste. It calls to mind a funeral I attended a few years ago.
I saw people cry, full of regrets for what might have been with the deceased. I heard people make promises of how it would be different, maybe not right then and there, but someday.
Those promises? Soon forgotten.
I’m not immune to someday.
Everyone falls prey to it sometimes and I’ve had my periods of inaction and stuckness. I’ve also kicked my someday thinking to the curb on many occasions:
- Someday I’ll be more athletic. ==> I ran a half marathon at 34, one year after knee surgery.
- Someday I’ll figure out what I want to be when I grow up. ==>I found my calling as a coach at 37, and a new calling as a writer at 47.
- Someday I’ll write a book, even though I’m still not sure of the topic. ==> 2012 is the year this will happen.
Someday is a dream killer.
It will kill your dreams in a heartbeat if you let it. These 3 tips can help you avoid that regretful outcome!
3 Tips to Help You Kill Off Someday
1. Share your dream.
Listen up – if you can make your dream happen by yourself, your dream probably isn’t big enough. Your dream calls for you to give up your Lone Ranger attitude and ask for help.
Do you think I could have run 13 miles on my own? Hell no! I joined a runners’ group, I trained with friends and on race day I buddied up with a woman I’d only just met and we encouraged each other every step of those 13 miles.
Result: Not only did I finish the race, it’s still one of the things I’m most proud of to this day. In 2008 a New York Times article noted that less than 1% of the world’s population have run this distance. I’m no jock and I’ll never run it again, but that I did it makes my heart burst with pride and I guarantee I would never have done it on my own.
“Someday is now.” – Gaddy Bergmann
2. Discover what you don’t want.
I tried a lot of things before I discovered coaching! All of them presented opportunities to grow and learn and most importantly, discover what I didn’t want!
I didn’t sit around and wait for the perfect job or career to find me. I tried things on for size, learned what I could and moved on if it wasn’t my thing.
Result: When I finally became self-employed I had years of experience in many areas of life and business. This gave me a powerful toolkit to share with clients and make a difference.
“To change one’s life; Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.” – William James
3. Declare your intentions.
When I shared my dream it took my breath away and fear gripped the back of my neck. Then, my lizard brain went on loudspeaker with an intensity I hadn’t felt in a long time! The fear was almost paralyzing.
Lizard Brain (LB): WTF were you thinking telling people you’re going to write a book?
Me: What? I”m excited, I’ve been writing consistently. I’m ready!
LB: Are you crazy???
Me: No, I’m just inspired and a wee bit on fire!
LB: OMG what have you done? We’ll never live this down if you fail.
Me: However it goes, it will not be a failure. Just relax LB 😉
At that point LB fainted due to hysterics!
Result: I have wrestled my lizard brain to a reasonable level of annoyance. It will never go away and I don’t expect it to, but getting to this place is worth the ongoing effort.
“There are only 7 days in the week & “someday” is not one of them.” – Rita Chand
Someday is a dream killer.
Don’t let it get to yours.
Over to you:
You now have a choice:
- Follow your lizard brain down the someday road.
Or. . .
- Declare your dream and take the next step.
#reverb11 is a prompt driven writing project during the month of December. Its purpose is to inspire reflection and create intention for the coming year.
OMG you totally made me cry and it’s only 7am! I JUST had this conversation with my friend Kandi yesterday as I drove to the ferry. She was so inspired she actually gave me goosebumps. Amazing. AND not only that, but you quoted me. YOU QUOTED ME?! Wow! I had no idea I’d become quotable. That is amazing. Thank you Sandi for making me cry at 7am and for kicking my ass once again. Between you and Joel Runyon, and Danielle LaPorte, my LB doesn’t stand a chance. Love love LOVE! xo
Sounds like you’ve got a team of lizard wrasslers to help you out 😉
And yes Rita, you are very quotable my friend! xoS
Yet another homerun of a post. Your life wisdom has a way of touching those sleepy places in me, and saying, “Pssst… time to wake up!” And it’s always a goooooooood feeling!
You’ve inspired me to set some goals for what I want to accomplish in 2012 (and there’s a LOT I intend on doing). Not just saying “Yeah, I’m gonna do this in 2012”, but setting some dates. March. July. September. Breaking the bigger goals up into smaller pieces and setting milestone dates. Yes 🙂
Thank you, Sandi!
Those big exciting goals are great but can quickly become overwhelming. Chunking them down and setting dates is the best way of managing the overwhelm! Or as Danielle LaPorte would say keeping it in the world of whelmed 🙂
Can’t agree more, someday never comes, someday is just a reason to waste time.
On the other hand, it’s cousin “here and now” is truly hot, always here, always ready for you, always full of opportunities!
Thanks for this post Sandi!
Ohh, I like that cousin “here and now” 😉
I have a hunch that your book will flow out quicker than you can even imagine! Discover what you don’t want …. between you and Andrea Olson, I now know I’m normal, well among three of us anyway! Some call it inconsistent. I call it adventurous, playful, willing, courageous.
Bahahaha, we are so NOT normal Jackie 😉
I’m adding normal to the list of words I’m banishing from my vocabulary! Along with someday, nice, can’t, maybe.
Hahaha, I’ll go with that 🙂 I feel a non dictionary coming along soon!
I’m with Rita — tears in my eyes, Sandi. The starter pistol has gone OFF, and you are thundering down the track. Can you hear all the people cheering you on?
My burning desire is that the starter pistol goes off for you and others too! I do not want to be thundering down the track on my own!!!
i love this post! just had a lunch call with a friend, and we talked about planning – how the feminine (a term i’m kinda’ tired of at the moment) in us wants to just be free to roam and the masculine (ditto) in us wants to develop a spreadsheet. somewhere in the middle is where we want to be, and your delightful post helps immensely. love it.
Feminine, masculine, meh. I prefer the term human 🙂
absolutely!
Sandi, where can I pre-order your book? Cuz I’ll buy anything you write :). You’re brilliant.
My dream is to help others. I’m trying on ways to do this, and I’m starting with yoga teacher training in the Spring. It’s all happening NOW…no more someday!
Oh Sabrina, you just made me cry. Thank you. Truly. I so appreciate your support and I hope you know it’s there for you whenever you need. xoS
I intentionally blog about some of my dreams because it makes me push harder to try to hit the mark and make them happen.
You get it exactly Jack! Caught myself the other day feeling the urge to not say anything, keep it safe and small. So of course, I outed myself in two posts this week 🙂
Oops, I think you just told us your age…….can you do that in social? I thought we were all age neutral…………..:).
I ran a marathon at 40…….after two knee surgeries; but it wasn’t one year after. I hold the record in my office at least; there have been 4 other people who work with me who have ran one too so I put the pressure on them to beat the “LUI record” of 3:41…………:).
Yes, the ol’ ‘someday’ excuse. When we have enough money, time, etc. I’ll bet I have been to at least 10 funerals this past year; I had 3 in one week. Live for the now, live large, and enjoy the journey; no regrets, right?
Like you, I still have some ‘someday’s’ out there; but I do a pretty good job of ticking the items off my bucket list. I certainly have no regrets at this point.
I like your place here; I will definitely come back and see you again, thanks for sharing this.
Hey Bill!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your own abuse of ‘someday’ thinking! I’d rather hear more of that than the regrets and excuses so common. As for my age…never been a secret, I’ve got good genes and I’m pretty damn proud of what got me here…so why hide it? 😉
Great post
Yea someday is like should. They both should be removed from the English language..!
Congrats on your success..
Ban ’em I say!
Love this post! I’m stepping off of the ‘someday’ path. No regrets!!
Hallelujah, that’s what I love to hear 🙂
I have been waiting on someday longer than I care to remember. Maybe someday I’ll learn to stop.
Ha! Don’t even joke about it!
Amazing post. I think the word I would eliminate from my vocabulary would be “can’t.” I still find myself saying things like “I can’t possibly do that…” when I am referring to really stepping up and going after my dreams.
Although I must say, I really kicked “can’t (s)” butt in 2011. I finished my book and hot damn I published it. I also put myself out there in a big way. Let’s just say, I literally put my “butt” on the line.
And 2012 looks bright and shiny. “Can’t” doesn’t have a chance.
Congrats on finishing your book and kicking those ‘can’t’ to the curb! Looking forward to seeing what 2012 delivers 😉
Zig Ziglar used to say “you are not going to get anywhere if you are on Someday (Aisle) I’ll …
Love it! Thanks for sharing that Brad, hadn’t heard that one before!