The Vagabondage Series: Elana Baxter on escaping the comfort zone.
We all have weaknesses and not just one or two.
Some of mine include English period films, glossy magazines, gossip sites and espresso. But there’s one weakness I’ve yet to divulge until today.
Worksheets.
I know, a bit anticlimactic and not even a bit risqué. But nevertheless, I have a soft spot for worksheets.
So when my coach told me she would be sending some along – not one, but some – I was ready to dive in and start neatly answering all of the questions, eager to ponder each one with focused consideration.
Then they came.
After the initial introduction discussing my favourite subjects – ideal work and living a life you love – I hurried to the next section to begin. That’s when the can of worms began to squirm uncomfortably.
List what you dreamed of as a child seemed a simple enough statement. I could do that. Plus, I’d been instructed to slap a roll of duct tape on the lizard brain in order to do the work and just write whatever felt right and true. I resolved to quietly ignore the squirming worms and move on.
Visions and memories of dancing, singing, writing, drawing, painting, playing music – they all came to the surface. I looked at my answers. All silent contemplation went up in flames. The worms started a full-fledged riot, apparently not happy in their can and my lizard brain had removed the duct tape muzzle (lizards are tricky little bastards).
I can’t dance now! I’m too old.
Singing? There’s no time for s i n g i n g!
Painting?!! Now you’re really talking a fine tune right out of your ass lady!
And so on.
Every joyous memory and hopeful vision, dismantled by the lizard and a chorus of obnoxious worms with a story to tell.
Stories stop us, like enormous obstacles. So many past associations and experiences that get in the way of choosing a different, more rewarding and authentic NOW.
Maybe like me, your skills, talents and strengths were never acknowledged or affirmed while growing up.
It’s not unusual.
Or perhaps your dream to be a dancer almost came true, but you had an accident and sustained an injury that kept you from fully realizing it. Heard that one before?
But then there are people like Bethany Hamilton who get their arm chomped off by a tiger shark and still keep surfin’ USA.
What’s the deal?
Fear.
Despite my brave exterior, I am afraid.
Afraid to fail and afraid to succeed.
Afraid to come to truly knowing a strange, new place that acknowledges me at my deepest, most authentic core.
The stories are part of the lizard brain’s fuzzy blanket campaign. It wants to keep us safe and warm in our comfort zone where our fears enfold us. But we know better.
I know better.
The comfort zone is a misnomer because there is nothing comfortable about being in a place that suffocates our highest joys, whether that is dancing, playing the accordion or walking barefoot on the beach.
Today I will finish the worksheets without stopping. I will ignore the scaly little beast that looks out for my survival. I have set the worms free because the only story that counts is the one I create today.
Not the one I believed yesterday or the day before.
Today is a new day and I can create a new story.
Just like Bethany, just like that.
Coach’s note:
- Notice your comfort zone.
- What’s the fuzzy blanket that’s keeping you safe?
- What’s the fear that’s holding you back?
I’ve gotta share…
The thing I love about Elana’s series is that so often when we hear about coaching or personal development work we hear about the big breakthroughs and that can get in the way. What it takes is commitment and making new choices, and the road is not always easy. Elana shares the good, the bad and the ugly (hello lizard brain!) with humour and intelligence. I’m so grateful to have her here sharing her story!
I have fears, too. Fears that when I’m really found out I won’t be liked. I have a million more that surface everyday. I know that’s normal because only Forest Gump is the only one I know who has no fear filter! He’s my hero. Worse than fear is apathy. I truly fear the day that I sit and dream, frozen into inaction, watching my life slip by me. I’d much rather enjoy the adrenalin of fear than wake up one day to find myself asleep. I tell my husband I need to take a “stupid” pill when I over-think things and hold back living!
I hear ya! I’m afraid of the day I have no fear because that means I’ll have checked out!
I am incredibly thankful to be able to share my experience here. Proactively living life is a courageous and difficult walk sometimes. It is not at all like flipping a switch, yet for me it is the only way. Here’s to life!
I think one of the things I love about your series is it gives me a glimpse to the other side. I’ve been doing this work so long that I can sometimes forget what it takes to keep going. You help people see the process from that perspective and that’s invaluable!
I have a lot of fears. Mostly about what other people will think of me for pursuing what I’d like to pursue. How I’d look to them if I “fail”. But I’m starting to take small steps and with each steps I most always think “see that wasn’t so bad was it?” I’m trying to meet the fear with love and perseverance. I think it might be working :]