“The words you speak become the house you live in.” – Hafiz
I recently had the pleasure of exploring what Monique MacDonald calls your Sacred Gifts. Her work had been recommended to me by many people and that always gets my attention. Then my friend and colleague Coral Heron took the training and the opportunity arose.
After 15+ years of personal development work of all kinds I know myself pretty well. My strengths and weaknesses are familiar friends and I do my best to focus on the former. But as Coral lead me through the process another layer of the onion fell away.
Your gifts are not necessarily your skills or talents, or what you’re good at. Instead, think of them as qualities you were born with that allow you to do ordinary things in extraordinary ways. Chances are, that like me, you’ve probably taken them for granted.
“Gifts are planted in your being-ness, and must reach out beyond your stories and your human-ness.” – Monique MacDonald
I was intrigued to by the idea that your gifts are always for the benefit of others. As Coral and I discussed each of my gifts this became evident. They’ve shown up in the work I do, the way I live my life, even my interests.
My gifts include: Wisdom, Encouragement, Knowledge, Leadership, Writing, Extraordinary Trust and Teaching.
While many of them were not a surprise, a couple of them triggered some resistance. Some part of me didn’t really want to own them, especially if they were for the benefit of others. I’m pretty sure that’s where my next level of growth lies.
The surprise was realizing that this new awareness of my gifts felt like pieces of a puzzle – the puzzle that is me – falling into place.
One of the questions that came up in the conversation was
“Where are you falsely modest?”
I put the question out via my usual channels and got very little response. Had the question pushed buttons for people?
It got me wondering.
- When you look in the mirror what do you see?
- What do you acknowledge yourself for?
- Who looks back at you?
Clients go through this often. They may acknowledge what they’re good at but rarely do they consider there might be something deeper, more authentic at play. And when I say authentic, I particularly resonate with this definition:
au·then·tic: having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence
And that takes us back to the question, “Where are you falsely modest?”
Just for a moment imagine you had all the evidence you needed, that you too have a unique set of gifts.
Tell me: What would you now start saying about yourself?
I love this Sandi! I’d say stop filtering every thought that comes into your head to see if you think others will like you. Show up for your life because this might be the last 5 minutes of it. And know that when you walk into a room you make it a better and more well-rounded place than it was before you crossed the threshold! And I’d say we all have something to give. My 24-yr-old daughter , when she was about 7, gave her friend a collection of rocks from our yard at a birthday party. She’d asked me about her offering beforehand and I squirmed inside a bit. But it was all she had that came straight from her heart, not from my wallet to the cashier to her hand to her friends’. What fun to know that we HAVE and ARE enough! The trick is remembering who you are!
Thanks Sandi!
Betsy,
The trick IS remembering who you are. That is a really comforting aspect to the Sacred Gifts work. As I went through the process I could see the gifts were with me way back in my childhood, some more visible than others, but all there just waiting to be expressed.
Earlier this year I participated in a wonderful training with Jennifer Louden and Michele Lisenbery Christensen called TeachNow. One of the epiphanies I had was “remembering” all the things I knew but had started to take for granted or – worse – demean until they seemed like nothing.
Valuing ourselves is so critical – for our personal well-being, but also for our relationships and our business. If you cannot own your gifts, you cannot share them. You’ve got to start with remembering, holding, and believing in them … then see where they take you in the world.
🙂
“If you cannot own your gifts, you cannot share them.” Jamie, these words are so true and resonate deeply with me. The Sacred Gifts process was very much about remembering. I kept interrupting Coral to share memories from my childhood; it’s like they kept bubbling up to the surface wanting to be spoken out loud!
This really resonated. Alot. I have been struggling with really being able to write as a coach, instead of a storyteller. I had a phone conversation with Tami D Smith yesterday, and some of the things we discussed hit home as well. Awesome post. Thank you.
If storytelling is your gift then start telling your stories loud and proud. I’m curious to hear how your stories have made a difference for others. That would be another clue!
Sandi – what I love about this is the clarity — in one’s hands are gift markings — and the way you describe gifts here is nearly word-for-word the way I talk about these gifts with clients — the difference is that the markers show up when the client isn’t fully accessing their gifts in the every day. That’s why the focus on doing “ordinary things in an extraordinary way” is imperative.
It’s also a key to where we’re hiding out.
Falsely modest? Some may say there isn’t a modest bone in my body — but I know it’s not true. so there’s that. I think I downplay all the learning I have and how I can immediately access what someone needs when they need it. Whether they’ve got an aching shoulder or a broken heart — the questions they need come to front of mind and so do the resources that can help them heal.
So what about you? Where are you being falsely modest?
Peggie!
Wowowowow! I just got the similarity between the Sacred Gifts work and the reading you did of my hands! Both times I felt exposed or found out in some way. Not like a bad thing, but rather as an opportunity to own my stuff and stop hiding out! So, so cool!
My false modesty is similar to yours in that I have studied and trained in so many areas and more than anything want to share that knowledge to make a difference with others. Sometimes I downplay it so that others don’t feel uncomfortable. Kind of like the Marianne Williamson quote. Interesting, given my work is all about having people shine. Really, really getting that includes ME!
I like to remind people that the gift of “spotlight” is about letting your light shine so that those who need you find you. Your wisdom and your sense of humor combined are powerful — the more people who can see your light, the better for the world…really. When people step into their light they are connecting on a very pure level to the vibration of the world. And that rocks!
Thank you Sandi, for the gift of this share. It seems so easy, at least for me at times, to ignore gifts that have been present since childhood, and by virtue of that ignoring violate the truth of my being. Have you noticed that through time people often share or point out your gifts. Even in the light of others stating the obvious, for whatever reason, it is so easy to not hear it. Today, I reclaim what I know to be the truth.
Ahhh, Michael…
Reclaiming what you know to be true. So gorgeous. And it is that. What this process reminded me of was that we are born with these gifts. Some may have developed more fully than others, but as I looked back through my life I saw all of them in some form. Recognizing this I too can reclaim what’s really always been mine.
xoS
“Your gifts are always for the benefit of others.” That’s what jumped out at me. Way back when, a numerologist told me that my soul came to earth this time to find out about freedom. And that I would discover that the only way to freedom was to be of service. I so didn’t get what the hell he was talking about then. Today I get it.
I am falsely modest about my writing. It’s only recently that I embraced the word writer as an accurate description of me. It’s only very recently that I declared I want to earn my living as a writer. When I did, the Universe sent me 2 new neighbors who have totally embraced their love of writing and identify themselves as writers. What a mirror and what a gift! (By the way, my neighbors are 8 and 12 years old.)
Only recently that you’ve embraced the word writer??? That’s crazy talk Carol 😉
And I know exactly what you mean. Coral emphasized this point about the gifts always being for the benefit of others. As I shared in the post, I did resist that a bit. And I get it.
Like you, I’m falsely modest about my writing. Another thing that Coral said that rung true was that gifts when not expressed often leave an experience of yearning and that’s how I felt for years about my writing. I “one day, someday” talked myself out of it for a very long time. I’m just so grateful now that I can actually own this gift.
Oh yeah, I know what you mean about the yearning and about the gratitude for finally owning the gift. It’s about embracing yet another facet of ourselves with love and appreciate, isn’t it?
Oops — that would be “appreciation” — not appreciate! See? The writer (or maybe anal editor) in me couldn’t let that typo stand. 🙂
Like you, I think I’m good at encouraging people. That’s why I’ve decided to study in the field of life coaching. Now all I need is the knowledge, leadership, and wisdom.
In the words of the brilliant Dori in Finding Nemo…just keep swimming, just keep swimming 😉